Personal

Seeing More Clearly After Trauma and Denial

Have you ever been surprised by watching a movie or television show a decade after you first watched it and saw it in a whole new light? You’re older, you’re in a different place and so the experience of watching that film or show again is different. Different emotions come up, you identify with different characters and notice brand new things in the narrative making it a truly novel experience. It’s like you’re seeing the movie or show for the first time.

If you’re the victim of abuse, seeing an old movie or show can actually be a trigger to those old emotions, and all that emotional pain can come flooding back. But once you begin healing those wounds, the trigger disappears and you begin to see things with new eyes.
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Brain and Behavior

How to Let Go of Perfectionism

Perfectionists strive for flawlessness in all parts of life. They have unattainably high standards for themselves. They are exceedingly concerned about others’ evaluation of them, hardly ever satisfied with their performance, and blame themselves when things go wrong -- even when they are not directly involved or responsible.

Perfectionists consider mistakes to be personal failures or deficits. Mistakes are not seen as a normal part of learning and growing that we all experience.

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Addiction

Psychology Around the Net: October 17, 2015


Happy Saturday, Psych Central readers!

This week's Psychology Around the Net brings you the latest on therapy and your sex life, the effects of alcohol use on the economy, what exactly counts as creepy behavior, and more.

Enjoy!

The Psychology of Sex: How Therapy Can Save Your Sex Life: Sometimes, physical conditions such as low testosterone and diabetes can lead to intimacy and sex problems; other times, mental health help such as talk therapy might be just what a couple needs to strengthen their relationship and boost their sex life.

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Brain and Behavior

How to Stop Creating Problems for Yourself

"If you think you’re enlightened, go spend a week with your family." -- Ram Dass
I just returned from a four-day trip with my family. It was my own family of four (my husband and two kids), plus my mom, my two sisters, and my brother-in-law. It was great. We get along well and have fun together. And, it was four days with family.

It’s a funny thing… although you grow up with your siblings, listening to and being influenced by your parents, you all end up so unique -- different from each other and different from the adults who raised you.
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Bullying

Why Anyone Would Want to Control You

The need to control others may not make a lot of sense to you. If you’re a live-and-let-live person, you’d never want to control someone else. Even if you’re a perfectionist, you stay on your own case all day, not necessarily someone else’s.

But controllers are out there. They want to micromanage what you say, how you act, even what you think quietly in your own mind. It could be your boss, your spouse, or even your parent. You can’t be yourself around them. They insist on being your top priority and want undue influence over your life. They might push your buttons to get an emotional reaction out of you because they want to exploit it as weakness. They have no respect for you or your boundaries.
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Anger

Brainwashing in Abusive Relationships

Being in an abusive relationship often feels like torture. Sometimes that's because your partner's behavior feels like the torture techniques used by mortal enemies instead.

Brainwashing is defined in the Psychology Dictionary as that which “manipulates and modifies a person’s emotions, attitudes, and beliefs.” It reduces a person’s ability to mentally defend themselves and makes it easier for another person to control them.

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Borderline Personality

Identifying Borderline Personality Disorder in a Friend or Loved One

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is one of the most misunderstood, wrongly-diagnosed mental illnesses. It affects an estimated 14 million Americans, or 5.9 percent of all adults. That means more people suffer from BPD than Alzheimer’s. One out of five psychiatric hospital patients has BPD, as do 10 percent of people in outpatient mental health treatment centers.

Despite all of this, BPD is rarely discussed in public forums. This is in part due to the fact that very few people know what it is or how to identify it.
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Anger

The Purpose of Emotions as Told through ‘Inside Out’

I was a little skeptical of the animated feature film “Inside Out" when I first met Joy. "Not another lesson about replacing everything with positivity," I thought during the first part of the movie. Her dazzling blue hair, her incessant happy attitude, and her “go-get-'er” attitude were almost too much for me to handle.

I suppose one could say that Joy is the epitome of happiness. But her heart is in the right place. She really wants the best for 11-year-old Riley (the protagonist).
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