Personality Articles

Fearful & Frozen: Why Victims Don’t Act to Stop Bullying

Thursday, February 20th, 2014

Fearful And Frozen: Why Victims Don’t Act to Stop BullyingOn January 1, 2014 in Australia, anti-bullying legislation was introduced. Workers now can apply to to the Fair Work Commission (FWC) for an order to stop the bullying. Once an application has been received, the FWC has two weeks to investigate the complaint.

Legislators expected an overwhelming demand: Bullying affects over 30 percent — more than 3 million — Australian workers and costs the economy between $6 billion and $36 billion dollars a year.

It seemed reasonable to expect that applications should have numbered in the thousands by now when results from a parliamentary inquiry in 2012-13 showed that workers’ most desired outcome was that they just wanted the bullying to stop.

However, only 44 applications have been received so far in 2014, six of which were withdrawn. Why?

Trolls Just Want to Have Fun?

Sunday, February 16th, 2014

Trolls Just Want to Have Fun?According to a new study, researchers have found that people who troll online often have nasty personalities. And, well, they like doing it. Trolls enjoy trolling.

Surprised? Not sure anyone would be.

Nonetheless, the researchers found that trolls scored highly on a number of personality traits examined: Machiavellianism, psychopathy, narcissism, extraversion, disagreeableness and sadism.

Calling All Rebels: What’s Your Perspective?

Sunday, February 9th, 2014

Calling All Rebels: What's Your Perspective?For my book Before and After, about habit-formation, I’ve been developing …

Romantic Gestures: Is There a Double Standard?

Tuesday, February 4th, 2014

Romantic Gestures: Is There a Double Standard?When men attempt bold gestures, generally it’s considered romantic. When women do it, it’s often considered desperate or psycho.
~ Carrie Bradshaw (Sex & The City)

In Nicholas Sparks’s The Notebook, we see Noah carelessly hanging from a carnival Ferris wheel. He hopes that his bold gesture will be perceived as daring and romantic, and will therefore solidify a date with Allie, the girl he absolutely had to pursue.

Now, of course that’s an extreme scenario (albeit a fictional one), but that pivotal scene always had me wondering what would have happened if the roles were reversed.

If a girl decided to act in a similar manner, would that be seen (in societal terms) as persistent and vulnerable, with shades of romanticism? Or would she be dubbed as ‘crazy,’ or ‘psychotic?’ My personal opinion is that it’s typically the latter.

Free Webinar: Introduction to NLP

Tuesday, February 4th, 2014

Free Webinar: Introduction to NLPNLP stands for Neurolinguistic Programming, a popular therapeutic and personal development system that has been changing lives since the early 1970’s. NLP strives to understand how each person creates their own inner world. Once you understand the structure of your inner experience, you can make simple yet dramatic changes, often very quickly.

Learning NLP opens the door to a new world of possibility. You’ll soon discover that what you think does not matter nearly as much as how you think. You’ll learn that each and every thought has a structure. Once you understand the structure of your thoughts, altering your thinking patterns is easy.

Do You Have Difficulty Making Decisions?

Monday, February 3rd, 2014

Do You Have Difficulty Making Decisions? A day is made up of hundreds of small decisions. I’ll wear this; I’ll buy this; I’ll have this for lunch; I’ll go here at 3’oclock; I’ll respond to this e-mail; I’ll delete this one.

For some people, none of this is a big deal. For others, however, making decisions (big and little ones) isn’t easy. They agonize over what to do, vacillating back and forth, and second-guessing themselves even after the decision has been made.

Emily was in the diner with her husband. After several minutes of reading the menu, she said, “Um, let’s see. I don’t know what to order. Maybe I’ll have the burger; no wait, the pasta seems good. Or, maybe the soup and salad. Don, what are you ordering? OK; that sounds good; I’ll have that too.”

How to Be Less Self-Conscious

Sunday, January 26th, 2014

How to Be Less Self-Conscious When you’re self-conscious, it’s as though you’re on stage, and the audience is scrutinizing your every step. Rationally, you know that everyone isn’t watching you, but that’s how you feel, said Aaron Karmin, MA, LCPC, a psychotherapist in Chicago, Ill.

He gave this example of how we tend to experience self-consciousness:

Imagine being out with your co-workers. Everyone is chatting among themselves. Then someone says: “You have something on your nose.” As you reach to wipe your face, your elbow bumps a glass, which shatters on the table. Now, everyone is silent and staring at you.

“It’s as if a spotlight has been turned on you and the rest of the room lights dimmed,” Karmin said.

Chess, Stereotypes & Personality

Friday, January 17th, 2014

Chess, Stereotypes & PersonalityChess is a challenging game that requires great mental effort to succeed in at the higher levels.

To make sense of the people who play this perplexing game, non-chess players can use shortcuts to make sense of chess players through stereotyping. These people may ask themselves, “What kind of person spends his or her weekends hunched over a chess board rather than having fun?”

I have heard many stereotypes for chess players over my more than 10 years as a tournament chess player: nerdy, intellectual, socially awkward, quirky, quiet, and crazy.

Does Everyone Lie?

Monday, January 13th, 2014

Does Everyone Lie?I am at the post office with two boxes of heavy books. I can send them book rate, which is far cheaper than first class if there is no personal correspondence inside the box.

“Is there a letter or any form of personal correspondence in any of these boxes?” the post office attendant behind the counter asks me.

I hesitate. I know full well that there is a small note sitting on the top book. I even know which stationery I used. I flounder. “Who cares?” “What an idiotic rule.”

“No,” I said. I lied. It was a white lie to save me ten bucks or more. But it was a lie. Which got me to thinking… Does everybody tell these little white lies — or even something worse?

How Do You Recover from Dating a Narcissist?

Sunday, January 5th, 2014

How Do You Recover from Dating a Narcissist?Have you ever felt distraught or found it hard to move on after dating someone who was self-centered? If so, your partner might have been a narcissist, or a person with narcissistic tendencies.

A narcissist is arrogant and expects special treatment — whether or not he or she does things to warrant it. If you’re wondering whether your partner could have been a narcissist, it helps to know these basic traits. In this article, you will learn how to regain your confidence and put your life back on track after dating a narcissist or someone with these tendencies.

Why Are We Drawn to Horror Films?

Saturday, January 4th, 2014

Why Are We Drawn to Horror Films?My relationship with horror films is one massive contradiction. On the one hand, I can’t peel my eyes away from the screen. On the other hand, I know that I’m surely going to be spooked in the aftermath (the more paranormal content, the creepier it is). And yet, I’m drawn to frightening movies anyway, in dark rooms and late at night. (Go big or go home, right?)

“Lauren, why do you do that to yourself?” family members ask, after it’s apparent that my vivid, disturbing dreams are probably a byproduct of the storylines I watched before sleep: John Cusack spends the night in a haunted hotel room and loses his mind. He escapes the room, physically, but does he ever really leave? The spirit of a murder victim lingers around the Yankee Peddler Inn — she’s seeking vengeance. Religion turns dark and exorcisms occur. Ouija boards just encompass freakiness.

Why are we so drawn to things that scare us?

Back to Work Blues: Protecting Yourself from Energy Vampires

Thursday, January 2nd, 2014

Back to Work Blues: Protecting Yourself from Energy VampiresHolidays from work can elicit relief and dread in equal measure when you know you’ll be going back to a co-worker who seems to suck the air right out of the room and drains you dry — in other words, an “energy vampire.”

Working with difficult people for too long can lead to burnout — a state of emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged exposure to stress. It saps your energy to the extent that you can lose your interest and motivation on the job and end up feeling increasingly cynical and resentful. It can even lead to someone developing serious mental health and medical conditions such as depression, anxiety, problem drinking, digestive issues, chronic fatigue syndrome, immune system disorders, obesity and heart disease.

So what are energy vampires and what can you do to help prevent them from ruining your work day?

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