Personality Articles

Why Does the Boss Prefer the Bully to You?

Wednesday, April 16th, 2014

Why Does the Boss Prefer the Bully to You?Bullying, it seems, pays off. Did you ever wonder why the bully gets away with it and even benefits with a promotion or other reward?

Your gut feeling is correct: the boss really does prefer the bully to you.

No wonder you hesitate in reporting workplace bullying. Not only is it unlikely you’ll get a fair hearing, but it could also incite retribution and even lead to the loss of your job.

Is it Good to Be Bad in the Workplace?

Thursday, April 10th, 2014

Is it Good to Be Bad in the Workplace?In recent years there has been a growing examination of the dark side of personality. Researchers have begun to appreciate the role played by socially undesirable traits.

In fact, recent research has taken an interesting slant, examining the way in which dark traits actually can be advantageous. The book Snakes in Suits is an excellent example. It argues that psychopathy can in fact help executives get ahead by making them ruthless, charming and impulsive. Indeed, we have previously discussed how agreeableness can be a hindrance in business.

Narcissism and Millennials in the Digital Age

Friday, March 28th, 2014

Narcissism and Generation Y in the Digital AgeAccording to dictionary.com, narcissism is defined as “an inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity; self-centeredness, smugness, egocentrism.”

As a 20-something myself, I observe how individuals frequently throw this infamous word around, specifically referencing Generation Y, otherwise known as Millennials: “Look at how they tweet and talk about themselves — such a narcissistic generation!”

And while indulging in Twitter/Facebook updates and Instagram photos could be superfluous, I find that it’s a reflection of the digital age. Social media outlets have now become another prominent platform for communication and instant disclosure.

Meeting Strangers: How Passing Connections Enrich Our Lives

Wednesday, March 26th, 2014

Connecting with StrangersA few weeks ago, my friend and I spent Friday night at the local bar, with one premise in mind: we wanted simply to meet and converse with our fellow humans. (Since I’m in my 20s and no longer in school, opportunities for meeting new people are a bit limited.)

I discovered that one guy, let’s call him John, works a corporate job but paints on the side, and I found out that his brother teaches English and loves the performing arts scene. They came out to celebrate and toast their friend, who just became a real, live lawyer.

Why Men Don’t Ask for Directions

Sunday, March 23rd, 2014

Why Men Don't Ask for DirectionsWomen often find the male mind hard to understand. Why can’t men ask for directions when they are lost? Why can’t they read an instructional manual when they don’t know how to do something? Why can’t they pore over a self-help book on relationships when it can help them enhance their skills?

An old adage is that women are emotional and men are logical.

So how come men don’t operate rationally when they don’t know something?

Recognizing When Friendships Become Toxic

Wednesday, March 12th, 2014

Recognizing When Friendships Become ToxicEnding a friendship is a very personal decision.

Everyone has his or her own threshold — his or her own breaking point. Perceptions of what may be considered ‘toxic’ can vary, depending on the individual. And, the connection to another person in a friendship could be strong, which may outweigh the negatives present within the relationship. Therefore, the signs I’ve compiled — signs that indicate that you may want to put a friendship aside — are only suggestions.

However, if you’re sifting through rocky terrain, perhaps these ‘red flags’ will help move the thinking process along.

Fearful & Frozen: Why Victims Don’t Act to Stop Bullying

Thursday, February 20th, 2014

Fearful And Frozen: Why Victims Don’t Act to Stop BullyingOn January 1, 2014 in Australia, anti-bullying legislation was introduced. Workers now can apply to to the Fair Work Commission (FWC) for an order to stop the bullying. Once an application has been received, the FWC has two weeks to investigate the complaint.

Legislators expected an overwhelming demand: Bullying affects over 30 percent — more than 3 million — Australian workers and costs the economy between $6 billion and $36 billion dollars a year.

It seemed reasonable to expect that applications should have numbered in the thousands by now when results from a parliamentary inquiry in 2012-13 showed that workers’ most desired outcome was that they just wanted the bullying to stop.

However, only 44 applications have been received so far in 2014, six of which were withdrawn. Why?

Trolls Just Want to Have Fun?

Sunday, February 16th, 2014

Trolls Just Want to Have Fun?According to a new study, researchers have found that people who troll online often have nasty personalities. And, well, they like doing it. Trolls enjoy trolling.

Surprised? Not sure anyone would be.

Nonetheless, the researchers found that trolls scored highly on a number of personality traits examined: Machiavellianism, psychopathy, narcissism, extraversion, disagreeableness and sadism.

Calling All Rebels: What’s Your Perspective?

Sunday, February 9th, 2014

Calling All Rebels: What's Your Perspective?For my book Before and After, about habit-formation, I’ve been developing …

Romantic Gestures: Is There a Double Standard?

Tuesday, February 4th, 2014

Romantic Gestures: Is There a Double Standard?When men attempt bold gestures, generally it’s considered romantic. When women do it, it’s often considered desperate or psycho.
~ Carrie Bradshaw (Sex & The City)

In Nicholas Sparks’s The Notebook, we see Noah carelessly hanging from a carnival Ferris wheel. He hopes that his bold gesture will be perceived as daring and romantic, and will therefore solidify a date with Allie, the girl he absolutely had to pursue.

Now, of course that’s an extreme scenario (albeit a fictional one), but that pivotal scene always had me wondering what would have happened if the roles were reversed.

If a girl decided to act in a similar manner, would that be seen (in societal terms) as persistent and vulnerable, with shades of romanticism? Or would she be dubbed as ‘crazy,’ or ‘psychotic?’ My personal opinion is that it’s typically the latter.

Free Webinar: Introduction to NLP

Tuesday, February 4th, 2014

Free Webinar: Introduction to NLPNLP stands for Neurolinguistic Programming, a popular therapeutic and personal development system that has been changing lives since the early 1970’s. NLP strives to understand how each person creates their own inner world. Once you understand the structure of your inner experience, you can make simple yet dramatic changes, often very quickly.

Learning NLP opens the door to a new world of possibility. You’ll soon discover that what you think does not matter nearly as much as how you think. You’ll learn that each and every thought has a structure. Once you understand the structure of your thoughts, altering your thinking patterns is easy.

Do You Have Difficulty Making Decisions?

Monday, February 3rd, 2014

Do You Have Difficulty Making Decisions? A day is made up of hundreds of small decisions. I’ll wear this; I’ll buy this; I’ll have this for lunch; I’ll go here at 3’oclock; I’ll respond to this e-mail; I’ll delete this one.

For some people, none of this is a big deal. For others, however, making decisions (big and little ones) isn’t easy. They agonize over what to do, vacillating back and forth, and second-guessing themselves even after the decision has been made.

Emily was in the diner with her husband. After several minutes of reading the menu, she said, “Um, let’s see. I don’t know what to order. Maybe I’ll have the burger; no wait, the pasta seems good. Or, maybe the soup and salad. Don, what are you ordering? OK; that sounds good; I’ll have that too.”

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