Personality Articles

7 Myths about Borderline Personality Disorder

Wednesday, February 18th, 2015

Emotional Payoff Worth ConsideringBorderline personality disorder (BPD) and other mental illness is highly stigmatized, overlooked and looked down upon by society. BPD is characterized by poorly regulated emotional responses to events or feelings, possible urges to self-harm or commit suicide, and unstable relationships with others.

Here are 7 popular myths about borderline personality disorder:

1. Only women or mostly women have BPD.

This myth is a particularly harmful because it can work toward preventing an accurate diagnosis of BPD in men, as well as stigmatizing women and mental illnesses. While BPD is more common in women it is also fairly common in men.

How Extroverts and Introverts Can Have Happy, Healthy Relationships

Monday, February 16th, 2015

woman man couple 3

Sure, you’re “outgoing,” but does that mean it’s OK to be overwhelming?

Congratulations! You finally snagged a date with that HOT guy from the gym. Over dinner, you practically sit on your tongue to appear demure. After all, isn’t being an introvert ALL the rage these days? (Everywhere you turn, you hear how much happier introverts are in life, love and work.)

Then, the real you slips out. You can’t hold the words inside any longer and they suddenly flow from your mouth like lava into the Pacific Ocean. As you try to fall asleep after another less-than-stellar date, you berate yourself for not mastering the art of keeping your mouth shut.

3 Rules for a Positive Transformation

Monday, February 16th, 2015

Change Your Mindset, Find True Love

Things do not change; we change.
– Henry David Thoreau

At the core of positive psychology is the research on intentional activities. The effectiveness of deliberate positive interventions has created a platform from which many people are transforming their lives for the better. Purposeful, conscious activities — such as committing acts of kindness, expressing gratitude, and reviewing the good things happening in your day — have an additive effect. The more we do, the better we feel, and the more we seek intentional activities to supplement these good feelings.

Barbara Fredrickson, one of the leading researchers in the field, coined this progression “broaden and build.” Intentional activities run the gamut: meditation, exercise, expressive writing, or the proverbial “count your blessings.” Researchers and applied practitioners are constantly seeking new interventions to add to our emotional piggybank.

Are You an Empathizer or an Instigator?

Sunday, February 15th, 2015

effective-communication

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. — George Bernard Shaw

Statistically, about 50 percent of all people are Empathizer communicators and 50 percent are Instigators. Neither type is better or worse, they’re just different. Learning your own and your opposite communicator type will allow you to adopt the strengths of your opposite, see situations from your talk partner’s perspective, and become a more flexible, positive, and responsive communicator. So, which one are you?

Differences Between a Psychopath vs Sociopath

Thursday, February 12th, 2015

Differences Between a Psychopath vs Sociopath

Society has conspired with Hollywood to put two seemingly-sexy psychology terms into our collective consciousness — psychopath and sociopath. Psychopath and sociopath are pop psychology terms for what psychiatry calls an antisocial personality disorder. Today, these two terms are not really well-defined in the psychology research literature.

Nonetheless, there are some general differences between these two types of personality types, which we’ll talk about in this article.

Both types of personality have a pervasive pattern of disregard for the safety and rights of others. Deceit and manipulation are central features to both types of personality. And contrary to popular belief, a psychopath or sociopath is not necessarily violent.

What Makes a Highly Sensitive Person?

Sunday, February 8th, 2015

serious-female-faceMy mom called me her “flapper” when I was a baby. Whenever I got excited, I would flap my arms, like I was young chick taking off for flight … in front of a hawk. I still do that, to some extent, but I manage to keep the arm movements to a minimum extension.

I am easily excitable, a “highly sensitive person,” as defined by Elaine Aron in her bestseller, The Highly Sensitive Person. If you answer yes to most of these questions on her website, you’re probably in the club, which holds 15 to 20 percent of human beings:

Psychology Around the Net: February 7, 2015

Saturday, February 7th, 2015

football10

Learn more about money and happiness, how our personality types affect our habits, and — *gasp* — whether practicing BDSM can actually reduce anxiety in this week’s Psychology Around the Net.

The Psychology of Why Sports Fans See Their Teams as Extensions of Themselves: With the Super Bowl (and possibly DeflateGate — at least, somewhat) behind us, let’s take a look behind the scenes of how we see our favorite sports teams actually could be an expression of our own selves.

How Constantly Apologizing Affects Our Personal Relationships

Friday, February 6th, 2015

sorry_no_apologies

We’re not kids anymore: Apologizing doesn’t make everything right. So stop saying it!

While there’s no way of getting around ever having to you’re sorry, resorting to repetitious apologies in an effort to restore trust and intimacy with your partner can produce unexpected results.

Unfortunately, this guilty approach to relationships often backfires.

Quiz Yourself: What Kind of Play Do You Enjoy?

Thursday, February 5th, 2015

crayonsinacanAs I’ve worked on the subjects of habits and happiness, the importance of play has becoming increasingly …

Are You an Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel? Thoughts on the 4 Tendencies Quiz

Friday, January 30th, 2015

Rubi_9780385348614_roughpages_8.25.14.inddLast week, I unveiled my Four Tendencies quiz, which helps people determine their Tendency. I developed this framework as part of my research on habits for my book Better Than BeforeTo take the Quiz, click here.

I’m very gratified that so many thousands of people have taken the quiz — and even more gratified by the notes at the end. The comments are fascinating. Zoikes.

After reading those comments, I’d make a few observations.

5 Tips for Finding Love with a Mental Illness

Wednesday, January 21st, 2015

3 Therapy Exercises to Help Couples ConnectDating can bring joy and passion or make you feel lonely and misunderstood. When you add a mental illness into the mix, things can get even more complicated — if you let them. But you’re hardly alone in your confusion.

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, in any given year, roughly one in four adults experiences mental illness. Of these, many are enjoying loving, stable relationships. Many others don’t even know they have a mental disorder.

Mental illness is a medical condition that can be treated with medication and therapy. It doesn’t have to limit your social life, and it certainly doesn’t mean that you can’t look for a partner.

Introversion Versus Shyness: Drawing a Line in the Sand

Saturday, January 17th, 2015

Sarah Newman and her French Bulldog KeatonI’ve heard these two words used interchangeably, perhaps because being introverted often goes hand in hand with staying home a lot. But there is a big distinction between the two. If you don’t recognize that, social anxiety can take control of your life.

I used to use introversion as an excuse. It was an excuse to avoid parties, an excuse not to make new friends, and an excuse to bury my face in my phone in new social situations.

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