Personality Articles

Confessions of a Stage-Four People-Pleaser

Wednesday, November 19th, 2014

zen cat anyaMy junior year of college, I bought a used computer for $100. It was cheap because the thing was as huge as it was heavy. The challenge was to walk with this cumbersome piece of technology across campus to my dorm. I was finally to the steps of Holy Cross Hall when I tripped and fell flat on my face.

Did I issue a four-letter word?

Of course not.

I apologized.

To the student who was on the stairs staring at me.

Free Webinar: An Explanation for Codependency & Narcissism

Monday, November 17th, 2014

Free Webinar: An Explanation for Codependency & NarcissismIf you are seeking recovery from codependency or you are habitually in relationships with narcissists, this insightful training will arm you with life-changing information.

Ross Rosenberg, codependency and narcissism expert and best-selling author, will help you understand how and why you or a loved one became a codependent or narcissist.

You will be given the crucial information that will help you understand and, therefore, change your chronic dysfunctional relationship patterns. Knowledge is power and this webinar packs a punch with its cutting edge explanations. It will provide you with answers you have spent a lifetime seeking.

How Do You Relate to Your Environment?

Sunday, November 16th, 2014

How Do You Relate to Your Environment?I’ve been reading Brian Little’s interesting book, Me, Myself, and Us: the Science of Personality and the Art of Well-Being.

Among other things, he discusses various  frameworks for understanding people’s different traits.

I’d never heard about the “Environmental Response Inventory” before, and found it very compelling. Created by George McKechnie, this set of traits is meant to identify the way that people are oriented toward their everyday physical environments.

Try These 3 Tricks to Improve Your Self-Esteem

Thursday, November 6th, 2014

Self Confidence

It’s time to clean off the mud to reveal the true you.

You are in many settings throughout your day, and whether you’re at home, at work, at the gym, having a meal, engaged in personal time, interacting with your kids, partner, friends, or co-workers, your self-esteem affects 100 percent of how you appear in those situations and relationships.

Some of these instances might involve conflict, and how you feel (good or bad, happy or sad, respected or taken advantage of, abused or abusive — physically, mentally or emotionally) has everything to do with how you’ll respond. This is your self-esteem.

5 Signs Your Mate Is Overly Critical

Monday, October 27th, 2014

Young Couple Arguing

Is he ultra sensitive about the words you use? You might want to move on ASAP.

As a body language expert, I observe the ways couples interact with each other. Over the years I’ve identified several types of toxic relationships that fall into a category of romance that I’ve termed “psychological demons disguised as love.”

Why We Can Get Along a Whole Lot Better

Wednesday, October 15th, 2014

Why We Can Get Along a Whole Lot BetterAre you feeling beaten down by communication patterns you’re unable to control? Would you like to know why you’re having personality clashes? Minimize communication clashes or avoidance? Experience growth and a deeper level of understanding? Get along far better as a couple? Implement changes that last over the long haul?

The key is knowing whether you and your communication partner are the same or opposite communicator types.

How Self-Loathing and Self-Worshipping Lead to Lies

Sunday, October 12th, 2014

Learn to Tell the Truth

I once asked a friend whether she knew anything about Russian literature.

“No,” she intoned, shaking her head with a studiedly blank look in her eyes. “Not a thing.”

Later I learned that she’d written her Master’s thesis on Anna Karenina. She had lied in order to avoid the fate — dire, she thought — of looking like a know-it-all.

Anger Detection and the Brain

Saturday, October 11th, 2014

angry woman screaming man 2When Greta gets angry, Dave has noticed that she tends to be quiet, almost stoic. Greta can detect slight changes in Dave’s tone of voice that signal to her he is angry. Couples like us can learn to be extremely sensitive to signs of anger in their partners, because understanding your partner’s emotional state helps you decide how to respond.

It’s also important to be able to detect anger in strangers — in some cases, your very life might depend on it! Over the years, lots of research on anger has focused on facial expressions. While “anger” does have a characteristic facial expression that is readily detected, there’s plenty of other evidence we can use to decide if someone is angry, like Dave’s tone of voice and Greta’s silence. Until the past decade, however, very little research had been conducted on another important component of anger detection: Body position and movements.

Getting Your Needs Met

Wednesday, October 8th, 2014

Surefire Strategies That Don’t Work for ADHD – And Some That DoAre you a nice person? Are you considerate, thoughtful and sensitive to the needs of others? That’s admirable and praiseworthy!

So how come you’ve been feeling unappreciated lately? Your needs never seem to count. It’s not fair.

You take other people’s feelings into account. How come they run roughshod over yours?

Owning Our Dark Sides

Monday, September 22nd, 2014

Owning Our Dark Sides All of us have a dark side. This dark side includes qualities we don’t dare reveal to others. It’s the traits we are ashamed of and embarrassed about. It’s the traits others have rejected. It’s the traits we believe deem us undeserving or unworthy of love.

You may be judgmental, weak, angry, lazy, selfish or controlling. You may hate this about yourself. Or you might’ve buried these traits so deep you don’t even realize they exist.

Own Your Own Strength: Finding Power in Helplessness

Monday, August 4th, 2014

happy woman summer

One of the most crushing and crippling side effects of low self-esteem is the sense of helplessness with which it saddles us.

Hopelessness too, of course. But before hopelessness comes helplessness: that paralytic mixture of fear and resignation driving our belief that, whatever good, bad or incalculable thing awaits us around any corner, we will be tragically but blameworthily unequipped to handle it. Whether it’s a new relationship, a health issue, a job interview or a banana split, the one thing we think we know for sure is that we cannot endure it unscathed if at all, much less emerge educated, victorious, enjoying ourselves and/or improved.

For those of us who struggle with self-loathing, helplessness is not just a feeling but a conviction — in every sense of that word.

Can Introverts Become Leaders?

Friday, July 18th, 2014

Can Introverts Become Leaders?The ugly truth of life is that extroverts rule this world.

Does it mean that introverts can’t become great leaders?

The answer to this question is simple: No, it does not!

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