Brain Blogger

Fostering Self-Actualization During Child Development


Finding out who we are meant to be can be a difficult task and most won’t take the time and energy involved in the journey. Perhaps, not that they won’t, more often than not they can’t.

Many people struggle daily with meeting other, more base needs, rendering them unable to direct their energy towards higher, more fulfilling needs. In no way am I a self-actualized person, in Rogerian terms I am self-actualizing, that is, I am tending towards my real self and this is necessary for proper and healthy development, and should start no later than once the child is born.

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Children and Teens

3 Surprising Ways Kids Can Affect Your Relationship—and What to Do

Parents-to-be have certain assumptions and expectations about what life will look like when their little one is born and comes home. This is understandable. All of us hold a slew of ideas about any big change in our lives (about anything really). But often those expectations don’t exactly align with reality. Which can affect how we prepare for the transition.

A common belief parents have is that their child will automatically fit into...
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Children and Teens

9 Ways to Talk to Your Children about Mass Shootings


Your kids need to know the truth, but how you talk about it matters. Here's help.

It goes without saying that the most recent massacre in Orlando has the world shaken. Parents have their own set of worries around the safety of their children. And children, who have any level of exposure to the news, have a need to try to understand why this would happen and why would anyone do such a thing.

As much as we all wish we could shelter our kids from the realities of our world today we can’t. They typically hear about these types of atrocities from TV, other kids, overhearing their parents or seeing the look of concern on their parent’s faces while watching the news or reading a news feed on their phone. The points below are a helpful guide to talking to your kids about these types of tragedies.
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Books

Going Back to Work After Having a Baby

The last thing you might want to do is go back to work after having your baby. Your maternity leave was likely too short. And it’s very likely you’re still exhausted -- and very upset to be leaving your little one.

According to Allyson Downey in her information-packed book, Here’s the Plan: Your Practical, Tactical Guide to Advancing Your Career During Pregnancy and Parenting, one woman said: “I felt like I was leaving a part of my soul at daycare every day.” Another woman’s husband had to drop their baby off at daycare because, if she did, she’d be a wreck the entire day.

Or maybe you’re more than ready to return to your job. Maybe you’re even excited because you’ve missed working and you loved your work (or you need to get out of the house -- whatever the reason). Either way, there’s a lot to figure out and some challenges to navigate.
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ADHD and ADD

How to Stop Stressing about Work & Finally Fall Asleep

If you’re like most people, you’ve been affected by stress-related sleep problems at some point, lying awake at night filled with anxiety about your career and the future.

Often everyday worries about impending deadlines and your to-do list give way to bigger, more stressful questioning, “Is this job really what I want to be doing with my life? What if I quit? Will I ever discover
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Autism

Autism and the Gift of Friendship

When you have an autistic child, you try your hardest to socialize him. Autistic children have difficulty with being social and understanding even the simplest things such as carrying on a conversation.

For this reason, psychological and educational organizations have developed what’s known as the “social group.” This is a group activity where autistic kids can essentially “meet and greet” and work on things such as talking to each other, empathizing with each other and simply enjoying each other’s company.

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General

7 Ways to Take Good Care of Yourself as a Mom-to-Be on Bed Rest

Bed rest might sound like a dream -- like a vacation you’d love to have. But bed rest can actually be a terrifying time for moms-to-be, said Parijat Deshpande, a perinatal wellness counselor who works with women who are stressed, anxious and feel helpless during a high-risk pregnancy. It can be “hard, lonely and exhausting both physically and emotionally.”

Women can face a range of challenges. For one, many people might not understand exactly what you’re going through, making you feel even lonelier. You might feel bored, especially if you’re a go-getter, have a “type-A” personality or are used to staying busy, Deshpande said. You might feel guilty for all sorts of things -- for not being able to help out as much as you normally would, for not being able to spend time with your other kids, she said.
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Anger

The Reason Children Misbehave

You and I are adults; we talk like adults, use deductive reasoning, think about consequences for our actions, and make informed decisions based on facts (most of the time). Adults aren't always wonderfully smart, though. We can, and often do, fall prey to the “little adult syndrome” when dealing with children, especially when they’re misbehaving.

Working with children day in and day out provides me a fantastic perspective and a look into who they really are. Sometimes they’re wonderful angels sent from heaven to remind us of the beauty in life. Sometimes they’re tiny emotional vampires just waiting for us to look away so they can pounce on our weak point. Most of the time they're somewhere in between.

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Family

Video: Overcoming Sibling Resentment in Adulthood

Here's a fun fact: a quarter of all hyena cubs are killed by one of their siblings.
In humans, competition between siblings is a little subtler, but it's still there. After all, there's only so much parental attention to go around. Any time mom and dad are focused on one of your siblings is a time they're not focused on you.
Sometimes competition between brothers and sisters takes the form of healthy sibling rivalry. Other times, though, it can turn into a pattern where one or more siblings are not getting their emotional needs met and fall into unhealthy roles within the family.
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General

Squashing Self-Criticism

I strive to use mindfulness in all facets of my living and being. For me, the most beautiful and valuable gift that mindfulness offers is permission to receive, and to let go, repeatedly, particularly of my self-criticism. This helps me stay connected to the good, rather than the critical parts of myself. It helps me to experience my wholeness, and the wholeness of human nature, of which I am a part. This breeds contentment within, allowing me to be more authentic with self and others.

Many of us are conditioned to acquire, or be in constant pursuit of things, feelings or status. Often we feel less equipped to honor and navigate loss in our lives. Mindfulness creates a larger space for joy, making it easier to find in times of struggle.

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Caregivers

A Parent’s Unconditional Love

When you become a parent, the one thing you can always count on is the constancy of change and adaptation in your life. You learn as you go and follow what feels right to you. You soon see as your child grows into themselves that you are continuously exploring unknown territory. Like discovering a new frontier or remote solar system, you realize the lay of the land and it is specific to each child.

You bring your personal history and aptitudes (or inaptitude) with you when you parent. The interpersonal journey of caring for another human being reflects much more than simply caring for another. It requires great potential for personal and relationship growth. You learn volumes and keep on learning as a result of the experience of caregiving over time.
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