New Year’s Articles

How to Create Meaningful Resolutions as a Couple

Monday, December 31st, 2012

How to Create Meaningful Resolutions as a CoupleAs a couple, you might be interested in creating New Year’s resolutions to improve your relationship. But you might be stumped about where to start – especially since resolutions tend to get a bad rap.

The reason? We usually don’t follow our hearts or our values.

We asked three relationship experts for their suggestions on setting meaningful resolutions for 2013. Below you’ll find specific steps for creating goals that truly help you cultivate your connection and boost your relationship.

5 Tips to Blow Up Your Old Expectations & Move Forward

Sunday, December 30th, 2012

5 Tips to Blow Up Your Old Expectations & Move ForwardA client shared his frustration over not achieving more in his life, all those things he thought he would have done by now. I suggested that his struggle with low self-esteem would be helped if he stopped comparing himself to others.

This man, like many I know, deals heroically every day with the special needs challenges in his family. He and his wife step up in a non-traditional, focused, determined manner with love and spirit that is hard for outsiders to imagine. He is the frog in the pot, so it is nearly impossible for him to see how exceptional he is.

His reaction to me was: “Are you asking me to lower my expectations?”

No, I said, I’m asking you to blow them up, destroy them, obliterate them to dust. I hate that term: ‘lower expectations’, (can you tell?) as if by thinking differently we are less ourselves instead of more.

8 Tips for Setting Nourishing New Year’s Resolutions

Friday, December 28th, 2012

8 Tips for Setting Nourishing New Years Resolutions Most resolutions have a similar trajectory: kick off the first week of January and fade away in February. That’s because most resolutions also have a similar foundation: They start with a “should.”

Many of us set resolutions that we think we should. We should lose weight. We should diet. We should make more money. We should have a super clean, clutter-free home. We should strive for wanting less — or wanting more.

So it’s understandable why most resolutions stay unresolved. But by shifting how you view, and act, on resolutions and act on them, you can set goals that genuinely nourish you and contribute value to your life.

Below, two experts share eight suggestions for setting authentic and achievable resolutions.

5 Tips to Help Make Your Resolutions Stick

Thursday, December 27th, 2012

5 Tips to Help Make Your Resolutions StickI know what you’re thinking: another cheesy, goody-two-shoes article on how I can keep all those goals I’ve set going into 2013. If you abhor such articles (like 10 ways to de-clutter your bathroom), then keep on reading. I’m like you — normal.

1. Bribe yourself.

A so-called parenting expert that I read last week claimed that bribing your kid to get him to do something was an example of irresponsible and ineffective parenting. I suspect that the same man sits in his quiet and tidy little office cranking out advice like that while either his wife or nanny is home changing diapers and doling out time-outs. Let’s face it, bribing feels like one of the most effective tools to get anyone — your kid, your stubborn mother, your golden retriever, or yourself — to do something.

My running coach used this brilliant method to train me to run 18 miles. Before our run, he hid Jolly Ranchers along our route, every two miles, so he’d say to me when I wanted to stop, “In another half-mile, you get a treat! Come, you can do it!” And like a rat spotting a half-eaten hotdog, I’d run to the candy.

You want to make sure you stick to your resolution? Bribe yourself along the road there: at the one-forth mark, one-half mark, and three-quarters mark.

Therapists Spill: My New Year’s Resolution

Wednesday, December 26th, 2012

Therapists Spill: My New Years Resolution The end of the year is a time for self-reflection, while the beginning brings a clean slate, hope and new-found motivation, said Deborah Serani, Psy.D, a clinical psychologist and author of the book Living with Depression.

That’s why so many people use this time to create resolutions. In our monthly series, “Therapists Spill,” we wanted to know what goals clinicians are setting for their fresh starts.

For instance, Serani is setting both personal and professional goals — with an emphasis on realistic resolutions.

I like to set realistic goals for myself each year. Some are personal, like exercising more and eating better. Others are professional, such as researching a new subject or presenting at a conference. Of course, I don’t always achieve all these goals. But for me, I know that thinking about change leads me toward change. And that’s a good way to start the year.

12 New Year’s Resolutions to Boost Your Relationship

Wednesday, December 26th, 2012

12 New Years Resolutions to Boost Your RelationshipAs one year ends and another begins, it’s a good time to reflect on what went well and what you’d like to improve. That’s where relationship resolutions come in.

Relationships rarely thrive without some effort from both partners. That’s why we asked three relationship experts to offer their tips on setting resolutions that truly boost our romantic bonds. Here are 12 resolutions to help your relationship flourish in 2013.

1. Put your relationship first.

Clinical psychologist Meredith Hansen, Psy.D, suggested partners “Make each other a priority.” For instance, check in with each other during the day, spend quality time together during the week or go on a date at least once a month, she said.

Recent Comments
  • Nemya: Thank you so much for this article. It’s very concise and an easy read for those that have...
  • Fight Depression: thank you for the wonderful description.
  • acaw: Although you might be correct to identify a certain infantilism in some men these days, you go astray in...
  • mom of 4: Well, my experience with my son’s ODD agrees with pretty much everything on here. I am going to write...
  • Diimund: Just about everything bad that could happen to a person in their life has happened to me – accept that...
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