I have read every parenting sleep book that has been published in the last 20 years. I’ve been told by neighbors, mothers, siblings, friends, and strangers why my children don’t sleep and how to make them miraculously nod off.

But 11 years after the first insomniac was born, I’m still exhausted, as I am convinced he emerged from my womb with no need of sleep, and then his sister two years later with the same curse. I’m not sure how it happened, being that I’ve always needed eight hours of sleep to stay sane.

The last two months there has been a lot of cussing in our house after 8 p.m., when we begin the rituals. In desperation I headed to my shelf of expert advice to see if any nuggets in there would apply, or at least not nauseate me. I came away empty-handed. Great intentions. Perfect principles. Wise stuff. Just not going to work on my rebels, who defy traditional rules and procedures.

So I’m back to threatening. However, threatening, itself, can be complicated, and deserves its own guidelines.

“You idiot. Can’t you do anything right? I asked you to do a simple task. And what did you do? You screwed it up big time. What the hell is the matter with you?”

Some people believe that humiliation is a good teacher. You gotta learn. You must not forget. You will be punished if you don’t do it right. Humiliation will make a lesson stick.

These folks are right — humiliation is a good teacher.

But the lesson you learn is not what the teacher is intending. You don’t learn to do things better. You don’t learn to upgrade your skills. You don’t learn to trust your ability to learn.

Instead of living deliberately, many of us live by default, according to Polly Campbell in her thoughtful book Imperfect Spirituality: Extraordinary Enlightenment for Ordinary People.  

She gives several powerful examples: We vote a certain way because our parents do. We work a numbing number of hours because we’re taught this makes us good providers. We sabotage our successes because we’re taught that wanting money is akin to greed.

In the midst of clinging to these old concepts, we forget the most important idea of all: living from our authentic values.

Creativity has a kind of ethereal, ephemeral quality. It’s the muse that comes and goes as she pleases. It’s the breakthrough you can’t explain. It’s the aha! moment you worry won’t happen again.

But creativity, while magical in many ways, is concrete practice. It’s a garden that needs nourishing, planting and plucking. It’s the muse that sits at her desk at 9 a.m.

So how do we cultivate creativity? What does it really look like? We asked several creativity coaches and artists to share what they’ve learned about creativity throughout the years.

Our monthly series gives readers a glimpse into the creativity processes of coaches, artists, authors and photographers, among others. They share everything from how they cultivate creativity to what inspires them to how they overcome potentially crushing hurdles.

This month I’m pleased to present my interview with Mara Glatzel, MSW, a life coach and the creator of the powerful Body Loving Homework E-Course. I’ve been a huge fan of Glatzel’s work for several years now. (We’ve even collaborated on this project.)

She has an empowering message and a beautiful way with words. (Just check out her blog.) Glatzel works with women to help them cultivate healthy, respectful relationships with themselves and lead meaningful, more fulfilling lives.

If you work with me, you will often hear me say, “The grass may be greener, but it still needs cutting.” This basically means that things can always be better, but you still need to work hard at reaching your goals.

Some people spend too much time comparing their success to others. They see only the wealth, friends, cars, houses or fame others have. They take those differences and conclude that they are somehow deficient, or a failure for not having the same life as these ‘obviously brilliant’ people.

On one level, observing what other people have gained and wanting to aspire to their success is a very human thing. It can be great motivation — if it’s taken as such. If you see other people doing well, reaching their goals and being rewarded for it, then you might want to ask yourself (or ask them) “What is it I need to do in order to follow a similar path to success?”

When it comes to creativity, distractions “are a mixed blessing,” according to Christina Rosalie, a writer, mixed-media artist and author of A Field Guide to Now: Notes on Mindfulness and Life in Present Tense.

“Sometimes they lead to innovation. Sometimes they lead to hours of time dwindled away without purpose.”

In other words, distractions are not created equal. But more often than not the same distractions deplete us and steer us away from creating.

Whether creativity is your livelihood or an integral part of your self-care, here are 15 ways to deal with distractions.

People with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) often struggle with everyday tasks and getting things done in a timely manner. For instance, a task that would be otherwise easy to complete in an hour takes 3 days instead.

Do you often find yourself distracted until time is wasted? The challenges of ADHD and attention deficit disorder (ADD) are very real. But there is hope. When you understand how ADHD has been affecting all areas of your life, you can learn to minimize its impact and live successfully with ADD /ADHD.

Here are some steps to help you build confidence, clarify and prioritize your goals, minimize your ADHD challenges, and get you past being stuck to actually following through with your plans.

At the recommendation of a friend, I read Blake Snyder’s Save the Cat: The Last Book on Screenwriting That You’ll Ever Need. She told me that while she wasn’t writing a screenplay, the book was extremely helpful for writing any kind of story.

She’s right, it’s a fascinating look at storytelling, and it also includes some terrific exercises to foster creativity. This kind of playful thinking is fun. It’s fun to mess around with ideas, to have new thoughts, to come up with a great idea. It might even inspire you to write a screenplay or start a novel.

We all have intuition, but we may not all recognize it — some may be …

Into every life a little rain must fall. Does your rain come from a stray cloud on an otherwise sunny day, or is it from a gray, overcast sky that never goes away? Personal forecasts of sunny days and sunny moods contribute positively to a person’s health.

It is no surprise that a contented mind and cheerful spirit improve physiological functioning. We know the opposites — stress, depression and anxiety — can cause physical illnesses. Stress and depression both can lead to heart disease and heart attacks. People with heavy job stress have 50 percent higher health care costs.

It is a common misperception that life will always be better in the future: when we have a larger home, a nicer car, a corner office; when we are married, have children, or get divorced; once we finish a difficult task at work, or change jobs altogether.

In truth, life is always full of challenges. We must decide to be happy in spite of circumstances.

One of the biggest — if not the biggest — barrier to practicing self-care is guilt. Women, in particular, feel incredibly guilty for tending to their needs.

And it’s not surprising. According to Ashley Eder, LPC, a psychotherapist in Boulder, Colo., “We are surrounded by overt and covert messages that encourage us to minimize our own needs and feel guilty when we engage in self-care.”

Food and relaxation are prime examples. “Think how many times a day you see some kind of reference to a woman ‘indulging,’ ‘splurging,’ or ‘sinning’ because she meets a basic need like eating food she enjoys or taking time to relax.”

There’s also the belief that taking care of yourself leaves less time and energy for others. But, as Rachel W. Cole, a life coach and retreat leader, said, “self-care is other care.” In other words, practicing self-care helps us help others more effectively. Below, Cole and Eder share other powerful ideas to consider if the palpable guilt appears.