Addiction

Own Your Faults and Resolve to Mend Them

“How few there are who have courage enough to own their faults, or resolution enough to mend them.” - Benjamin Franklin

Everyone has faults. Some do only minor harm, while others get in the way of relationships, career, mental health and personal development. The issue isn’t the existence of faults, but how they’re dealt with.
Continue Reading

Anxiety and Panic

The Number One Mistake in Dealing with Rejection

This is Part Two in a series on Overcoming Rejection. Read Part One here: Overcoming Rejection: 5 Inspiring Lessons from Famous Women.
Tell me if any of this sounds familiar. You’re being criticized by friends, family, or coworkers. You try to defend yourself but you end up feeling embarrassed, angry, or some other negative emotion. Most importantly, this situation happened days ago and you’ve been reliving it in your mind ever since. If this describes you, then you have done post-event processing, which can be one of the most harmful reactions to rejection.
Continue Reading

General

How to Mindfully Fire Toxic Friends & Loved Ones: A Shrink’s Guide to Setting Boundaries

"Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it" - unknown 

As a Manhattan-based psychotherapist working with a high-functioning adult population, I am always surprised to encounter a repetitive theme in my office. People, no matter how smart, successful, and savvy, find it impossible to break up with their toxic jobs, relationships, and friends. Clients repeatedly walk into my practice frustrated with their life-draining, dysfunctional relationships or jobs.
Continue Reading

Anxiety and Panic

Grit N’ Grind

“He’s here again,” you sigh.

Playing pickup basketball, there is always that tough as nails defender. He is relentless, contesting every passing lane. Playing to the whistle’s echo, his grit -- more than his physical talent -- frustrates you into submission.

Grit, though, is more than nabbing every carom or fighting through those bulldozing picks; it is persevering through life’s stumbles and, yes, self-inflicted wounds. According to a U.S. Department of Education report, grit is just as important as intellectual ability for success.
Continue Reading

Celebrities

Overcoming Rejection: 5 Inspiring Lessons from Famous Women

Whether you have social anxiety, panic disorder, depression, or just plain dislike criticism, rejection stings. If you’ve faced rejection recently, you’re in good company. Here are lessons drawn from history from five unforgettable and famous women: The world’s bestselling author, a Nobel Prize Laureate, a first lady, a wildly popular talk show host, and a social advocate who overcame dual disabilities.
Continue Reading

Anger

How Healing Shame Can Save Our World

Personal growth includes recognizing the many faces of shame and how this hard-to-detect emotion holds us back. The gnawing sense that something is wrong with us keeps us roaming in a trance of unworthiness and self-doubt. A deep sense of being flawed and defective saps our joy and spontaneity.

But have you ever wondered how shame plays out on the larger world stage? Understanding the extent to which political leaders are secretly driven by shame and use shame to steal our vote can shed new light on the hidden ways that this insidious emotion infects today’s political landscape.

Continue Reading

Holiday Coping

Happy New Year 2017!

With another year behind us, we have a lot to look forward to in 2017 for mental health. The biggest win for some people with mental illness was the passage of the 21st Century Cures Act, a law that includes a partial fix and reworking of some of the ways the U.S. federal government supports mental health.

But with another passing year, we've also lost a lot of wonderful people who helped to support the cause of mental health, most recently Carrie Fisher. I suppose it's the nature of time marching on that, of course, it cannot be stopped. And we've had some political changes in this country that seemingly are opening up greater divides between citizens. Last year was a year that will be remembered in history books, but the real question you have to ask yourself is: will it be remembered in your personal history book?

Continue Reading