Friends

How to Stop ‘Fear of Missing Out’ from Ruining Your Career

You’ve felt it before. You’re at home on a Friday night with Shark Tank on the TV, a cold glass of Pinot Grigio in hand, feeling anxious and insecure instead of relaxed and self-assured, all because you glanced at your Instagram feed and saw the proof that all your friends, colleagues, and even your dorky younger cousin are living it up. So much for enjoying a rare night of rest and quiet, much-needed for mental restoration.

FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) is a
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Creativity

10 Problem-Solving Strategies that Work

Nobody likes problems. But they are a part of life, so it’s important to find effective ways to deal with them. The following strategies can help you navigate through potential solutions to find the one that works best in almost any situation.

1. Sleep on it


With often-conflicting problems and demands on your mind, it can be difficult to find an inroad to a solution. When you’re faced with such difficulties, a wise course of action is to get some sleep. While you’re resting, your mind is actively working to sift through the list and help sort things into more recognizable shape. You might even wake with some solutions to certain problems. Writing down a list before you retire for the night can help with that.
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Brain and Behavior

Black and White Thinking: Finding the Space Between

You've heard it before: "Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater!"

This is a frequently used saying, but what does it really mean? Picture it. Baby, covered in strained carrots, yogurt and dried cereal. I've been there. You put the little chubby giggle monster in the water, and it just gets gross. Things are floating around, and the water changes into this murky swamp of ick.

Does that water make the baby less precious and snugly? Not at all. They are separate things. Gross water. Baby. Gross water does not make gross baby. We can put that together so easily with the baby metaphor, but not so easily with other situations.

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Brain and Behavior

Possibility: More Powerful than Depression

When you are depressed, your mind sees no possibilities. You feel stuck, with no change in sight.

Depression is brilliant. It is an amazing example of “we are what we think.”

When we are depressed, our thoughts consist of things like “nothing will help,” “it’s useless,” and “I can’t do it.” These thoughts get even stronger when well-meaning people give suggestions on how to stop being depressed. Of course, these ever-so-helpful suggestions come right after we have gone on and on about how hard our life is. Right?
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ADHD and ADD

Confidence-Building and the Special Olympics

Tommy was terrified to travel to Columbus. He was scheduled to compete in the Special Olympics that weekend. Tommy has anxiety disorder, ADHD and autism, and anything out of the ordinary such as a road trip to a place he’d never been before threw him way off. “Talk to Daddy,” he kept telling me. “I don’t want to go. Can you tell him I don’t want to go?”

Steve was not surprised at Tommy’s resistance to going to a new place and doing a new activity. It was the story of our lives.

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General

4 Ways to Validate Yourself

“I put in a request for my annual review three weeks ago,” a friend told me. “I’ve reminded my supervisor about it, but she still hasn’t scheduled it.”

It’s bad enough to worry about whether or not you’ll get a raise or a promotion, but now my friend is left feeling like she doesn’t even matter. Work for her has meant lots of unexpected travel and many weekends on the job. None of these were part of her job description, and yet…
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Bullying

Recovering from Childhood Abuse: The Past Keeps Getting Clearer

In trauma recovery it is said, “You’ve done the hardest part -- you survived the abuse.”

After a year of accepting that I was sexually abused as a child, I’m finally starting to understand that recovery isn’t the hardest part. The shame is less automatic now, and the past is getting clearer.

As a child suffering abuse we don’t understand exactly what’s happening to us. Sex and sexuality is a mystery, so it’s not easy to recognize sexual abuse. Physical abuse is also confusing. We are tricked into thinking we’ve done something to deserve maltreatment. And in the end, we give in to this naive hope: “Everything is normal. No one would let abuse happen to me. I’m not in an unsafe situation.”
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General

10 Rules for Successful Living

How would you define “successful living”?

Is it to become a CEO? Or, is it to live in a woodland cabin equipped with high-speed wi-fi?

Whatever your notions of success, when I asked 2,500 Americans to “share the wisest quote you have heard or read, or share your own piece of wisdom” (as part of a nationwide study into what matters to us most), this is what people wrote (in reverse order of popularity):

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General

7 Confidence-Killing Words and Phrases to Ban from Your Vocabulary


If you have great ideas, you need to know how to communicate them. At work as in relationships, it all starts with conveying confidence. But a challenge many high-achieving women run up against are bad speech habits that have been conditioned in us over the years. Without us even knowing it, these verbal crutches can damage our internal and projected confidence levels and can even negatively impact how we’re perceived at work.

Women’s brains are naturally tuned for emotional intelligence and specialized for masterful communication. The female mind is hardwired to pick up nuances in spoken language and
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