General

Childhood Trauma: Overcoming the Hurt of Invalidation

“When we deny our stories, they define us. When we own our stories, we get to write a brave new ending.”
-- Brene Brown
I talk about my childhood trauma because I lived in denial for most of my life. I write about it because I didn’t understand what happened, why it happened, what it meant. I couldn't explain all these feelings of shame, depression, and disgust. As I grow to understand it better, I hope my writing can help other victims who feel lost and scour the internet for answers -- for a childhood they can relate to.
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General

Differentiating Shame from Guilt: It’s Not So Easy

It is clear that toxic shame is a destructive emotion that saps our energy and robs us of the joy of being alive. But does that mean that all shame is bad

Brene Brown defines shame as “The intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging -- something we’ve experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection.”

But toxic shame cuts to the core of our identity. We carry a dark sense of being deeply flawed and defective. This is so painful that we desperately try to hide it from others and develop compensatory behaviors (such as seeking power and wealth or constantly joking) that are designed to distract people from noticing how flawed we are (or think we are).

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ADHD and ADD

Psychology Around the Net: July 23, 2016


AAAAAACHOOOOOO!

That's me, readers, sneezing my brains out as I type this. You might remember I mentioned being sick last week? Well, this week, allergies decided to fill the void my common cold left behind.

It's been a rough couple of weeks for me and, as a matter of fact, I'm going to stop here and leave you to peruse this week's latest news about psychiatry and eugenics, using mindfulness to launch your career, some interesting results related to the self-esteem of women around the world, and more, because I'm headed to my pharmacist.

(They're used to people looking like something the cat dragged in, right? RIGHT?!)

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General

Tips for Sleeping Peacefully While Anxious

Based on my experience, there are two main reasons for trouble sleeping: either you are excited about something or you are anxious about something. I can still vividly remember that night before we as a family were leaving for Washington, DC for the first time.

I was a child then, and the thought of traveling all the way to where the president lives was almost overwhelming for me. I tossed and turned in bed; walked around my room; looked out my window into the dark; and before I knew it, I looked out my window to see the sun rising above the horizon. I finally fell asleep in the car during the more than eight-hour drive to DC.
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Brain and Behavior

Teenagers Can Benefit from Meditation

Teens are under more pressure today than in previous generations. This massive increase in stress and anxiety is believed to have caused an increase in teenage attention disorders. Often they believe they're doing things wrong. That makes it difficult to focus on the present.

Meditation can help. Most teens find it difficult to sit, breathe, and focus on the present. Their world runs at a mile a minute, and they need to keep up. This, more than anything, is why they should give meditation a try.

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Addiction

Instant Gratification: When Right Now Means 5 Minutes

“If you act right now -- right this very instant, you can own this shimmering, heart-shaped pendant for the budget-busting price of $250. But you have to act this very moment,” a caffeinated TV blowhard shrieks into your television screen.

You cackle, questioning the (in)sanity of anyone spending $250 on a cheesy pendant. As the cackle disappears, you lean back and contemplate your own spending habits. You, self-described Mr. Thrift, just dropped $250 on a pair of must-have sneakers. The problem: Your exercise regimen consists of walking past the gym.

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Anxiety and Panic

Change Can Throw You Off

A lot of things have been happening in my life recently. I just got a big job that I’m very nervous about, it’s something that hard to do but I’m also looking for a challenge. On top of that I’m moving to a new place at the end of the month.

Suffice it to say that I’ve been a bit overwhelmed with a lot of the stuff.

Anybody would have a hard time with two huge things on the horizon, but as I live with schizophrenia I have to be extra conscious of the compounding stressors that I’m putting on myself.
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General

Self-Doubt: How to Place Self Above Doubt

I should have tenure. Maybe even a corner office with a panoramic view of the quad. No question, I have the research background.

I second-guess (or third-guess) my decisions, craving irrefutable evidence that my decision-making is sound. As I analyze and overanalyze, sinking in mental quicksand, life whirs past. Indecision is a decision. And that decision is measured in missed opportunities.

As overthinkers, information is our frenemy. Analytical and creative, we are natural thinkers. Our inquisitive minds crave nourishment. But, in a lot of cases, we overindulge.
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General

7 Confidence-Killing Words and Phrases to Ban from Your Vocabulary


If you have great ideas, you need to know how to communicate them. At work as in relationships, it all starts with conveying confidence. But a challenge many high-achieving women run up against are bad speech habits that have been conditioned in us over the years. Without us even knowing it, these verbal crutches can damage our internal and projected confidence levels and can even negatively impact how we’re perceived at work.

Women’s brains are naturally tuned for emotional intelligence and specialized for masterful communication. The female mind is hardwired to pick up nuances in spoken language and
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General

How to Bring More Laughter into Your Life

“Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion, to the futility of thinking and striving anymore. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward -- and since I can start thinking and striving again that much sooner.” - Kurt Vonnegut, Palm Sunday
The next time you have a really stressful day, it’s your job to find one thing about your day and reframe it so you can laugh at it. Can you do that? I couldn’t imagine doing it either. Finding humor in everyday situations takes practice, and when you spend a lot of time dwelling on stress everything seems serious and urgent.
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Anxiety and Panic

Psychology Around the Net: June 25, 2016


Happy Saturday, Psych Central readers!

Whew, I've had a stressful week. I've been juggling everything from major work deadlines to doctor appointments to preparing our guestroom for entertaining company all weekend, and honestly, the only thing that's helped keep me focused is my to-do list.

That's right. I am a huge advocate of to-do lists. I know some people avoid them, but, not I. I can't even explain the sheer elation I feel each time I mark off a...
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General

5 More Ways to Relax, Recharge — and Actually Make Time for It

As a culture, we don’t particularly like to slow down. Instead, we prefer to do most things on the go -- like shoving a bagel in our mouth as we run out of the house. We tend to view pausing and relaxing as inconvenient, as interruptions that only impede our productivity.

We think of self-care and rest as optional, said Kimberlee Bethany Bonura, Ph.D, a fitness and wellness educator and exercise scientist. We think “that if we are strong and motivated, we won’t need them.” The problem? “[I]f we don’t purposefully plan to relax and restore, we will do so in unproductive and unhealthy ways.”

We might yell at our kids. We might drink too much on the weekends. We might crash on the couch, channel-surfing for hours without actually feeling relaxed or enjoying what we’re watching. We might scroll through our social media feeds, only to feel cranky and disconnected, she said.
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