Men’s Issues Articles

The Psychology of Addictive Relationships

Monday, March 24th, 2014

The Psychology of Addictive RelationshipsLove addicts often have the best intentions. They desire to have happy, healthy relationships. However, underneath these good intentions lies a covert struggle with intimacy. With sex and love addiction, there is always a hidden agenda to get needs met that are based in feelings of insecurity.

When there is dysfunction in the family of origin, love objects are unconsciously sought out with the goal of replaying unfinished business from childhood.

It is not always a relationship with a parent that we are repeating; it can be a relationship with any family member that is unresolved. Mourning childhood losses and allowing oneself to process the pain of past hurt sets us free to select more positive relationships.

Why Men Don’t Ask for Directions

Sunday, March 23rd, 2014

Why Men Don't Ask for DirectionsWomen often find the male mind hard to understand. Why can’t men ask for directions when they are lost? Why can’t they read an instructional manual when they don’t know how to do something? Why can’t they pore over a self-help book on relationships when it can help them enhance their skills?

An old adage is that women are emotional and men are logical.

So how come men don’t operate rationally when they don’t know something?

How to Get Over a Verbally Abusive Relationship

Friday, March 21st, 2014

How to Get Over a Verbally Abusive RelationshipWhen a destructive, verbally abusive relationship ends, it’s normal to feel a host of conflicting and unresolved emotions.

Verbally abusive relationships can destroy your heart and soul and make you feel like a completely changed person. The recovery process takes time, support from others, patience and self-love — but you can get through it and emerge stronger, happier and healthier than you were before.

Cut All Ties with Your Ex

People who have ended abusive relationships often feel the need to contact their former partners. On some level, you know that you shouldn’t have any contact, yet you might feel compelled to show your ex that you’re better off — or you may feel the need to offer forgiveness. Yet it’s vital to cut off all contact.

When You Lose Your Patience: Sitting on a Ticking Time Bomb

Friday, February 28th, 2014

When You Lose Your Patience: Sitting on a Ticking Time BombIt’s often believed that a major uproar between husband and wife must be triggered by a huge act of betrayal. “You did what?! How could you?!” However, this is not the typical scenario.

More often, a major uproar is triggered by someone sitting on a ticking time bomb of emotions. “You left a mess and expected me to clean it up again?” “I told you it’s important that we leave on time; aren’t you ready yet???”

A ticking time bomb detonates with only the slightest provocation. It may appear to come from nowhere, but if you’d been aware of the bubbles brewing underneath the surface, you’d understand the reaction.

Beware of She-Wolves

Tuesday, February 11th, 2014

Beware of She-Wolves

A woman becomes a she-wolf out of necessity to survive in the relational jungle of life. She feels that there is no other way to make it through life successfully.

These women are not born that way and may have once been among the kindest of women. It took one or more major wounds to make her vicious.

Anyone who has dealt with a wounded, bitter, and angry woman knows quite well how much harm she can inflict, especially to men.

This is a she-wolf.

Maybe You Should Make a Relationship Resolution

Monday, January 27th, 2014

Maybe You Should Make a Relationship ResolutionAt the beginning of every year, millions of people make New Year’s resolutions — everything from losing weight to saving money or spending more time with their families. Unfortunately, these resolutions often are forgotten by February.

However, there is one resolution that’s rarely heard: “Let’s work on our relationship.”

When Your Partner is Fatigued & Grouchy

Thursday, January 9th, 2014

When Your Partner is Fatigued & GrouchyAre you one of those people who wake up feeling fatigued and grouchy? Do you stumble out of bed wishing you could roll over and doze for another hour or two? Does your iPod, alarm clock or family member nudge you to get going long before your body is ready? If so, you are fatigued, grouchy and at risk for early burnout.

Here’s Brad’s story:

Brad begins most mornings as a walking zombie. On good days he’s grumpy; on bad days he’s consistently snarling at his wife and kids. Everything seems to get on his nerves. If anyone calls him on his behavior, he offers the lame excuse of “you know I’m not a morning person.”

Fathers, Daughters & Learning Self-Esteem

Sunday, January 5th, 2014

Fathers, Daughters & Learning Self-EsteemA healthy father-daughter relationship is key for developing a girl’s positive self-esteem. For all little girls, dad is the first male figure in her life. He and mom are everything; they become the child’s world. If that relationship between father and daughter is strained at an early age it can make for a lifetime of internal challenges and struggles with the opposite sex.

This powerful relationship between father and daughter begins around age 2 and lasts a lifetime, but the critical (formative) years are ages 2 through 4. The basic questions that go along with development at this age are: Is it OK to be me? Am I free to explore, to experiment with my new environment and enjoy the things I gravitate toward?

Navigating Facebook, Social Media So It Doesn’t Sabotage Your Relationship

Thursday, December 12th, 2013

Navigating Facebook, Social Media So It Doesn't Sabotage Your RelationshipThe Internet is part of many romantic relationships, according to Mudita Rastogi, Ph.D, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Arlington Heights, Ill.

Many couples meet and court online. Many people turn to Google or Facebook to learn more about their dates. Many couples “also keep tabs on their partners, their exes, and sometimes their partner’s exes via social networking sites.”

But while social media affects relationships, some couples don’t even talk about it. That’s what Cynthia Rangel, MA, LPC, found in her doctoral research at the Illinois School of Professional Psychology.

How to Get a Friend to See a Therapist

Saturday, November 16th, 2013

How to Get a Friend to See a TherapistYou probably regularly come across people who need professional help. They may be in the midst of a crisis, an important relationship isn’t working, they are emotionally unstable or their behavior is erratic. When drugs or alcohol are involved, especially around children, then it’s critical to take action.

However, it’s not easy to say to someone “I think you should see a therapist.”

It may offend them, shame them or disrupt your relationship. Your friend may hear: “You think there’s something wrong with me” and get angry, defensive or vehemently deny there’s a problem.

Rarely does a direct approach work in these circumstances.

Balancing Your Feminine & Masculine Sides

Friday, November 15th, 2013

Balancing Your Feminine & Masculine SidesLately I’ve been hit with a lot of messages about women, masculinity, and femininity that I’ve begun to realize just how out of balance I’ve been.

Working longer hours, dealing with both of my dogs being diagnosed with cancerous tumors just months apart, and my mother-in-law being diagnosed with cancer have all contributed to a just-barrel-through-it attitude.

This attitude is totally masculine. Someone has to take charge and make decisions — feeling too much might lead to a breakdown. Besides, who has time to not just do it? Perhaps, that’s why I’m noticing all of the messages.

5 Tips for Discussing Sex Before Marriage

Tuesday, November 5th, 2013

5 Tips for Discussing Sex Before MarriageWhether you believe in having sex before marriage, talking about it before tying the knot is important. All healthy relationships must include honest conversations about sex and any other topics related to intimacy, according to Andra Brosh, Ph.D, a clinical psychologist who specializes in love, marriage and divorce.

These talks help couples work through any sexual issues and set the tone for how they’d like to connect, she said.

Sex is a significant part of marriage. “Knowing the other through sexual intimacy deepens everything in the relationship, and it can reduce tensions that might pop up in other areas.

“If things are good in the bedroom, other minor issues don’t seem as important.”

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