Men’s Issues Articles

5 Sneaky Signs of Depression You May Be Overlooking

Monday, November 24th, 2014

depression symptoms

Things have changed a lot in the past 30 years when it comes to our ideas about depression. In the 1980s and even the 1990s, people often still saw it as a moral weakness, a sign of being “crazy,” or as something to be dismissed completely.

Today most people not only know someone who has struggled openly with depression, but they can probably also rattle off a handful of symptoms just from watching the many depression medication television commercials that dominate the airwaves. The voiceover asks “Are you always sad and tearful? Have you lost interest in things you used to enjoy? If so, ask your doctor about this medication.”

Conflict Resolution and Communication Styles

Monday, October 27th, 2014

Conflict Resolution and Communication StylesI recently read John Gray’s classic, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. This relationship guide (with an extraterrestrial twist) details the various differences and nuances in behavior between the genders.

I’m normally one to advocate that people are people; there’s something to be said for individualism and circumstance. However, I couldn’t help but nod in agreement with certain generalized ideas, particularly distinctions in how both sexes communicate when conflict strikes.

Porn Addiction: Not the Whole Story

Monday, September 29th, 2014

Porn Addiction: Not the Whole StoryThe issue of whether porn addiction is real has produced a storm of controversy. Yet all this noise may be distracting us from a graver risk to healthy sexuality: sexual conditioning of adolescents.

I monitor a number of popular online recovery forums. I have read self-reports of thousands of otherwise healthy young men who heal severe symptoms, including sexual dysfunctions (anorgasmia, delayed ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, loss of attraction to real people) by removing a single variable: Internet porn use.

Finding the Yin and Yang During the Hot Summer Months

Monday, September 8th, 2014

sunny_summer-1153

It’s been a hot summer. I showed up to my yoga studio the other day, and noticed that the air purifying machine was blinking and beeping, which made me think of my kitchen lights, which just the night before had shorted out. I looked up to see the time and saw that even the clock was running slow. I was about to teach a class on the dangers of “Summer System Overload,” and the electronics were proving my point.

We know, of course, that we have to be careful when it’s hot to avoid dehydration, heatstroke, and sunburn, but extreme heat can also affect us on energetic and emotional levels. From a Taoist perspective, we are in a Yang season, and now is an important time to stay in touch with our inner Yin.

5 Ways to Tell if You’re Having an Emotional Affair

Monday, September 1st, 2014

3 Signs Your Relationship is in Trouble

Would your partner really be OK with this?

Successful relationships are built on safety and trust — and a betrayal of that trust can derail a partnership before you know it. Both in the media and in our personal lives, we tend to associate such betrayals with physical affairs; however, an emotional affair, even without sex, can be just as threatening to your relationship.

Couples You Meet in Counseling: The Ice Queen and the Martyr

Monday, August 25th, 2014

upset couple backs bigstMy first post in this series tackled Mr. Perfect and his crazy wife. Here we turn to The Ice Queen and the Martyr, another commonly seen couple.

Here are some examples of what you hear from The Martyr in session:

“No matter what I do, it’s not good enough. She doesn’t show any appreciation or affection. I guess I don’t communicate well. But I’ve heard from other girlfriends that I’m actually great at communicating. “

“We haven’t had sex in months. She pushes me away. I guess I should try harder, but I already schedule date nights, help with housework, and get up with the baby.”

The Truth about Couples Therapy

Thursday, August 21st, 2014

upset couple backs bigstI always say that every couple would benefit from therapy. As a couples therapist myself, I am privy to the benefits of therapy both after problems begin and as a preventative measure. As some brilliant person once said, “The best time to fix a leaky roof is when the sun is shining.”

But the truth is, most people aren’t entirely enthusiastic about the prospect of couples therapy. Who wants to voluntarily do something that conjures up images of a woman in a beige sweater looking over her glasses, asking, “And how do you feel about that?”

Eating Disorders in Men

Friday, August 8th, 2014

eatingAccording to the National Eating Disorder Association, 10 million males in the United States will suffer from a clinically significant eating disorder at some point in their lives.

That number is staggering. Even more startling is the fact that men who battle eating disorders are significantly less likely than women to reach out for help.

The ‘Weakness Factor’: Men and Depression

Thursday, July 31st, 2014

Men and DepressionI’ve found that it’s much easier for women to say, “I’m depressed,” than it is for men. This has more to do with what I call the “weakness factor,” in which men struggle to admit something’s wrong with them or acknowledge something they perceive as a sign of weakness.

Men get depressed just as women do. The biggest difference between the sexes is that men typically won’t admit to themselves, or anyone else, that they’re feeling down.

Asking for help? As Anthony Soprano would say, “forget about it.”

Couples You Meet in Counseling: Mr. Perfect and His Crazy Wife

Tuesday, July 29th, 2014

Couples You Meet in Counseling: Mr. Perfect and His Crazy Wife“What is her problem all the damn time? Why can’t she just chill out? We don’t have problems, she has problems. I have to get back to work.”

The man who comes into counseling with this sort of mindset we will call Mr. Perfect. This high-achieving specimen of masculinity is usually in some field requiring an excess of education or on-the-job training. He is successful in his career and receives a lot of positive feedback.

Not just competent at work, he can also take the kids for an afternoon on his own because he is calm, cool and collected in all situations, even those involving toddlers and poop. His friends consider him a good guy. He is attractive and well-spoken. In an emergency, he is the person you want around. What a guy, right? (Don’t swoon just yet.)

Encouraging Males to Embrace Safe, Platonic Touch

Sunday, July 20th, 2014

twomen9

Touch. It’s a delicate subject. I just read an article that discussed the idea of gentle, platonic touch between men. It made the case that men are often isolated from touch at an early age by both parents, and that the lack of gentle, platonic touch is a killer. The author decided he would try a different approach, and never give up hugging his son or holding his hand when the opportunity presented itself.

As I read the author’s words, this notion of touch between men felt sort of radical, and I started to wonder why. I found myself agreeing that, for the most part, this physical form of isolation seems true for most men, though not all of us. Many of us get cut off from touch at a relatively early age.

How to Be More Assertive at Work

Sunday, July 20th, 2014

7 Tips for Setting Boundaries At WorkWe’ve all had days or weeks or months at our jobs where we feel like we’re being taken advantage of. You know the feeling: if it doesn’t come in getting passed over for an opportunity, it comes at the hands of either your boss or coworkers not giving you the respect you think you deserve.

You’ve also come up with reasons why these things happen. Sometimes it’s because Jerry from the art department is a brownnoser. Sometimes it’s because of your bad luck and the notion that you just can’t catch a break. Overall, though, you just wish you could be more assertive.

Recent Comments
  • RepressedMem: Diane, I am so with you, even though the genders are reversed but the actions are identical except that...
  • joe blow: whats do you do when not even god steps in to help
  • joe blow: I’ve been depressed since I was 5. No one wanted me, no one cared (except my mother), and I was the...
  • Edith: My comment is from personal experience. I believe that not everyone knows how to love. My own 80y/o mother has...
  • ADHD Dad: i bristle a little when I think of the ‘Disorder’ element of ADHD. I have 2 (of 3) children...
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