Surprising Differences between Lonely Women and Lonely Men

It’s certainly true that men and women handle negative emotional states differently. When things aren’t going well in a woman’s life, she tends to interpret it as depression. When a man doesn’t feel good about himself, he tends to express it as anger.

But men and women have loneliness in common. Do they handle it differently? Who's more prone to it? Who’s better at overcoming it? Let’s find out.

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Psychology Around the Net: November 21, 2015

With Thanksgiving just a few days away, we're in the throes of the holiday season here in America; unfortunately, this isn't a happy time for all. However, psychologists have a few tips and tricks to keep your holiday blues in check.

Of course, we've also got the latest on sex and happiness, how a mother's age could affect her daughter's mental health, whether your child's ADHD medication puts him or her at risk for bullying, and more.

Have a happy Saturday!

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How Babies Change Relationships

Sheryl and Larry tied the knot five years ago. As educated, career-oriented people, they entered into a modern marriage. “I wouldn’t dream of marrying a man who believed that I should be doing the housework and child care while he put his feet up in front of the TV after work. That kind of thinking repulses me. And Larry’s not that kind of guy; he’s always been supportive of me and my career. That’s why I’m so confused now,” said Sheryl as she tried hard to hold back the tears.

“Since Josh was born 14 months ago, everything’s changed. I still work full-time but somehow, I’ve become the one in charge of all the never-ending tasks. Yes, Larry offers to help, saying, ‘just tell me what you want me to do.’ I could choke him when he says that. He just doesn’t get it.”

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Borderline Personality

Borderline Personality Disorder: Facts vs. Myths

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a serious psychiatric condition marked by a pattern of unstable and stormy relationships, an unformed sense of identity, chronic feelings of emptiness and boredom, unstable moods, and poor impulsive control in areas such as spending, eating, sex, and substance use.

Fear surrounding real or imagined abandonment from loved ones is a profound concern for people with BPD and often is what underlies their destructive behaviors. Some people with BPD will go to dangerous lengths to avoid this fear, for example, by becoming suicidal or engaging in self-mutilation.
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Improving Communication in Relationships

To paraphrase a realtor’s mantra, the three keys to a successful marriage are "communication, communication, and communication." Without good communication skills and quality time dedicated to communicating, relationships soon flounder and fail, especially among couples with the stress of careers and a full family life. Couples need to learn that their relationship is not a thing, but a process.

There are three basic steps to being a good listener and therefore a good communicator:

Stay on the subject.
Listen to be sure you are staying on the subject.
Adapt your behavior if you aren’t staying on the subject.

How can you keep healthy communication lines open? Recognize and implement these requirements:

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The Power of Relationship Assumptions

We all make relationship assumptions. We assume what another person is feeling or thinking. We assume how that person is going to respond to us. We create a story in our heads about how others see us, how they judge us or whether they like or care about us.

We make these assumptions all the time, but we don’t realize that they are assumptions. We treat them as absolute truth. We believe them without hesitation. We’re often wrong.

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Brain and Behavior

4 Steps to Stop Seeking Approval from Others

Humans share an innate drive to connect with others. We’re evolutionarily wired to crave inclusion. Eons ago, this was linked with our survival; in prehistoric times, rejection triggered fear. If someone became isolated or was ousted from the group, his or her life would be at risk.

Because the consequences of being rejected were so extreme, our brains and behavior adapted to avoid disapproval from others. In fact, research has shown that social rejection activates many of the same brain regions involved in physical pain, which helps explains why disapproval stings.
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Do Unresolvable Conflicts Doom a Marriage?

Many people think that if a marriage is basically healthy all issues get resolved. Yet according to psychologist and author John Gottman’s research, 69 percent of problems in marriage do not get solved. (1)

His good news is that in good marriages many problems can be managed. Gottman states that couples can live with unresolvable conflicts about perpetual issues in their relationship if the issues are not dealbreakers.

Simply put, it is not the presence of conflict that stresses the relationship; it is the manner in which the couple responds. Positive, respectful communication about differences helps keep a marriage thriving.

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Talking with Children about Infidelity

The recent Ashley Madison hack exposed 32 million users for their involvement with the now-famous adultery-inspired dating site. It seems like a relevant time to discuss an issue that’s frequently shoved under the rug or ignored altogether. That issue involves children and marital infidelity. While spouses are obviously greatly affected by romantic affairs, psychologists argue that children may take the brunt of the blow.

If you’ve had an extramarital affair -- or your spouse has cheated on you -- there are obviously personal issues to sort through. In most cases, though, couples try to keep things under wraps and avoid telling friends and family members. However, what do you do with your own children?
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Anxiety and Panic

Psychology Around the Net: September 5, 2015

Happy September, Psych Central readers!

Our first Psychology Around the Net of the month covers habits to boost creativity, ways to deal with narcissists, how to protect yourself from negativity, and more.


6 Unusual Habits of Exceptionally Creative People: How early do you rise? Are you getting enough exercise? What about your schedule -- how strict is it? You might want to brush up on these tips and more to channel your own exceptional creativity.

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