Memory and Perception

Tell Your Therapist About the Abuse

“Unresolved emotional pain is the great contagion of our time -- of all time.” ~ Marc Ian Barasch
Imagine you are seeing a therapist and have an abuse history. It's safe to assume that you've already talked to the therapist about the abuse. Right? It would make sense, and yet, again and again I hear other abuse survivors say they've postponed talking to their therapist about the abuse.

The phrase “child abuse” becomes easily stuck in a victim’s throat. The abuser may distort the events that occurred so we aren’t sure of what happened. Sometimes, we’re so young when the abuse occurred we barely understand what was going on. Memory also plays tricks. In an attempt to insulate us from terrifying experiences, memory can become a block of Swiss cheese with holes in it everywhere.
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Anxiety and Panic

Memory Isn’t Important to Recover from Trauma

Memory comprises all the ins and outs of our lives. We go looking into it for everything from survival to simply making a joke. We use memory every day and sometimes it’s hard to separate the things we’ve done or experienced from our very identity.

For us who survived child abuse, memory isn’t our best friend. Memories may be intrusive. We might flashback suddenly and relive the trauma all over again. We can be well on the road to recovery, and these images and all the feelings they evoke may return.
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Brain and Behavior

Online Brain Training May Help Older, Not Young Adults

Despite relentless TV and online marketing telling you otherwise, online brain training games probably aren't of much help to you're under 50 years old. That according to one of the largest studies ever conducted on a collection of online brain training games offered by the BBC's Bang Goes the Theory television show.

The news is brighter for older adults, however. New research suggests that online brain training games may be beneficial for those 50 and older, translating online cognitive gains to everyday benefits.

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Brain and Behavior

Banishing Failure by Changing Your Perception

A world full of black and white with no grays would be a simpler world. Take math, for instance. There really are no gray areas with math. Math is like reality television. Some people love it. Most people disdain it. Everyone sort of tolerates its existence and understands its place in society. Math is black-and-white, right or wrong. Nearly every equation has one answer -- of all the number (and sometimes letter) combinations in the world, there is one right answer. Just one. You are either right or wrong.

Life is not pass/fail. There is a lot of wiggle room, mostly because of perception. When it comes to goal-setting, we tend to see things as being like a math equation. “I want to lose 20 pounds in six months." If you don’t make it -- fail! “I want to be out of graduate school by the time I’m 28.” You are 3/4 of the way there at 29. Fail!

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Anxiety and Panic

Remodeling Your Brain to Enhance Your Life

The brain can change its neural structure and make new neurons. Here are a few tips on how to remodel your brain in order to enhance your life:

Identify what you think about most often.


Are you a worrier? Are you angry a lot? Paying attention to what we think about most enables us to identify where our brain wiring is faulty and unhealthy. Your brain could be wired for anxiety, anger or any other negative thoughts, feelings or perceptions about yourself and the world.
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Bullying

Healing Trauma: Victimization Has No Grey Area

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." -- Maya Angelou, Letter to My Daughter
An important step in healing from sexual, physical, and emotional abuse is accepting that it is in fact abuse. There is no grey area. We know on a gut level what abuse is, and we know it is wrong. But for some reason it's hard to accurately identify when it's happening to us. Surely, in our case it’s something different. We think there must be another explanation.

Accepting that we have been abused means having to trust our perception and accept that something horrible has happened to us -- and will change us. It's much easier to see abuse as a grey area, as something "open to interpretation." Although sexual abuse and child abuse are both specifically defined by the American Psychological Association, in my mind there was wiggle room and I didn’t trust myself enough to label it.
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Memory and Perception

When Abuse Becomes Denial

“The victim who is able to articulate the situation of the victim has ceased to be a victim: he or she has become a threat.” -- James Baldwin
I used to think that abuse victims who lived in denial of their situations had to know they were in denial. Who could possibly ignore what's happening to them? Who could just pretend that nothing's wrong year after year? From the battered wife who claims "he's a changed man" to the alcoholic who doesn't "have a problem," I thought they had made a concerted effort to ignore reality. And then my own reality hit me.
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Brain and Behavior

4 Steps to Stop Seeking Approval from Others

Humans share an innate drive to connect with others. We’re evolutionarily wired to crave inclusion. Eons ago, this was linked with our survival; in prehistoric times, rejection triggered fear. If someone became isolated or was ousted from the group, his or her life would be at risk.

Because the consequences of being rejected were so extreme, our brains and behavior adapted to avoid disapproval from others. In fact, research has shown that social rejection activates many of the same brain regions involved in physical pain, which helps explains why disapproval stings.
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Books

Anosmia & the Smell of Books

The shock came shortly after I had recovered from The Mother of All Colds -- a vicious, lingering, energy-sapping upper respiratory monster that I quickly communicated to my poor wife. Both of us hacked, sniffled and suffered with the thing for several weeks. I soldiered on with hot tea, saline nasal spray, decongestants and what seemed like quarts of cough syrup. Slowly, grudgingly, the monster relaxed its grip -- but at a cost.

My sense of smell had all but disappeared -- a condition doctors call anosmia.

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Brain and Behavior

Can’t Make a Decision? 4 Things to Try

You’ve just worked your third 12-hour day in a row, with no sign of the craziness winding down in the days ahead, when a client calls you with yet another problem that needed to be solved -- yesterday.

In that moment, it may seem like your brain simply gives up while your client is still on the line, waiting for you to provide another one of the quick, brilliant solutions that she’s come to depend on you for.

This moment of mental paralysis, or the inability to make an effective decision in a brief moment, even if it’s normally easy for you, is what’s known as decision fatigue.
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ADHD and ADD

Psychology Around the Net: August 22, 2015


Happy Saturday, Psych Central readers!

Check out stories about managing ADHD as a grownup, what do to if you feel a depressive episode coming on, how to handle "ghosting" out of a relationship, and more in this week's Psychology Around the Net.

What It's Like to Have ADHD As a Grown Woman: Read one woman's account of living life as a grown up with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.

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Depression

The Surefire Way I Stopped Feeling Sorry for Myself

“We can always choose to perceive things differently. We can focus on what’s wrong in our life, or we can focus on what’s right.” -- Marianne Williamson
I was down in the dumps the other day and was feeling sorry for myself.

For some reason everything was just off. You know when you have one of those days when nothing seems to go right? And you get easily irritated and extra sensitive with everything?

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