This guest article from YourTango was written by Mary Jo Rapini.

February is heart awareness month, so this study in the European Society of Cardiology caught my eye. It says that being unmarried increases the risk of fatal and non-fatal heart attacks in both men and women regardless of age.

Researchers also note that being married, especially among middle-aged couples, is associated with better prognosis of acute cardiac events before hospitalization and after reaching the hospital alive. Even when the couple is unmarried but co-habitating, there is a better prognosis after coronary events before and after hospitalization.

How can you gain these kinds of benefits from marriage?

What is true love? It’s a question that’s been contemplated by everyone from authors to artists to philosophers to clinicians.

And it’s one that naturally brings up another key query: How do we make love last?

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, we asked relationship experts to share their definitions of true love and provide practical tips for prolonging it.

What True Love Isn’t

Many think of love as a feeling. And in some ways it is. According to Mark E. Sharp, Ph.D, a psychologist in private practice who specializes in relationship issues, “the experience of being ‘in love’ is primarily a feeling,” which begins with a powerful attraction and sexual desire.

But these initial intense feelings fade over time, he said. What’s left are “feelings of connection and affection,” if the couple works to sustain them.

We’re all too familiar with the adage, “Money can’t buy happiness.” But according to author Laura Vanderkam, in her empowering and thoughtful book All The Money in the World: What the Happiest People Know About Getting and Spending, “If money can’t buy happiness, perhaps we aren’t spending it right.”

Vanderkam encourages us to rethink how we view money.

Rather than money being “evil or soulless” or a point of comparison, she suggests we start seeing it as a tool for “acquiring, doing, and taking care of things that bring us joy.”

Let’s find out how.

Moving from casual dating to a serious relationship to the final stage — getting married — is a gradual process for most people. Unlike the whirlwind marriages we read about in romance novels, for most couples it’s not a decision made quickly or lightly. Nor should it be — if one is serious about making a marriage last.

But dating someone — even being engaged to them — is a lot different than marriage itself. Suddenly you’re not just sharing your lives together in the most intimate manner possible, you’re also sharing a lot of other things you may not have counted on.

So before you tie the knot, you may find it helpful to ask these five questions.

Whether you can be friends with an ex tends to be determined by the two people once involved in the relationship. But as with anything else, there are some expert opinions on the matter.

Susan J. Elliot, author, relationship coach, counselor and speaker/ presenter, wrote an article on the subject that was featured last year on the Huffington Post. Elliot stresses that even after an amicable breakup, it’s extremely difficult to be friends, at least initially. The bond of the couple needs to break and sifting through the emotional aftermath takes time in order to efficiently heal.

“Each needs to deal with the breakup in their own way, apart from the scrutiny of the person they just broke up with,” she said.

“Most people cannot remain friends after a breakup, but if it will ever be, it will be later — much later. The atmosphere immediately following a breakup is too emotionally charged for it to happen right away, if at all.”

“Little things can eventually erode your relationship,” said Christina Steinorth, MFT, a psychotherapist and author of Cue Cards for Life: Thoughtful Tips for Better Relationships.

She likened the damage to water trickling down a stone. A few drips won’t leave a mark. But over time the water “will leave a dent and break that stone.”

Over time how you feel about a pet peeve, or irritating behavior, can build and balloon.

Not washing the dishes becomes you don’t appreciate me. Silly comments in public become you’re disrespecting me.

But there are some simple ways you can deal with these pet peeves before they cause serious damage to your relationship.

Sometimes, the nice guys out there may have a disadvantage when it comes to the opposite sex. Why? Girls often initially flock to the guys who aren’t the most courteous or kind.

This may happen because girls are frequently told early in childhood that if a guy teases or berates, it’s because he actually feels quite the opposite — he’s acting mean because he’s interested. And with that, a spark is ignited.

Girls misread certain unfriendly vibes as interest, and therefore yearn to track down their attention.

The everyday — filled with its supposedly inconsequential interactions and circumstances — is actually quite consequential when it comes to romantic relationships.

That’s because relationships are cumulative, said Nikki Massey-Hastings, Psy.D, a psychotherapist who specializes in couples. “Each seemingly insignificant daily interaction with one’s partner builds upon the interactions from yesterday, last week, and last year… for better or worse.”

A couple with a history of loving interactions and success solving daily problems is more likely to have a securely attached relationship, Massey-Hastings said.

And that’s a great thing. Couples with a secure attachment are able to rely on each other, turn to each other for comfort and traverse potentially tough times, she noted.

In other words, positive daily interactions create buffers against future challenges.

My friend and I are always bonding over our love for guys in plaid shirts. I don’t know what it is, but the trademark print definitely induces a soft spot and brings smiles. Maybe it alludes to a down-to-earth persona, or an overall feeling of coziness?

In any case, that train of thought got us to thinking about the allure of certain attire and how it can influence impressions (whether we’re conscious of it or not).

A classic example is men in uniform, and since I’ve experienced Fleet Week in New York City, I can pretty much attest to this (rather universal) theory.

So what are the psychological implications of men in uniform?

As a couple, you might be interested in creating New Year’s resolutions to improve your relationship. But you might be stumped about where to start – especially since resolutions tend to get a bad rap.

The reason? We usually don’t follow our hearts or our values.

We asked three relationship experts for their suggestions on setting meaningful resolutions for 2013. Below you’ll find specific steps for creating goals that truly help you cultivate your connection and boost your relationship.

Narcissists can be horribly frustrating. Everyone probably knows one — people who are so wrapped up in themselves, so demanding and demeaning, that they leave no room for anyone else. Sounds like a horrible person.

Yet, there’s something enticing about narcissists that pulls you in. Perhaps it’s his or her self-entitlement or know-it-all, does-no-wrong outlook. You’ve always been one to subjugate your desires, anyway. So, though you hate to admit it, your narcissist’s confidence and cockiness may be (or used to be) a turn-on for you.  It’s amazing that your favorite narcissist can be both appealing and appalling.

If you’re not ready to toss your narcissist out of your life, you’d better learn how to deal with such a personality. 

This guest article from YourTango was written by Dawn Michael.

We like to think that the holiday season is a blissful time for all, but for many couples, it can create extra stress to an already rocky marriage.

One of the biggest issues is finances — how do you afford the holiday without going into more debt? Another situation arises when you have a two-income household, with children, now out for two weeks, parents have the added stress of how to make it work.

And of course, there are the in-laws, as well as unwanted family gatherings. So what’s a person to do?