Marriage and Divorce Articles

10 Habits for a Happy Marriage

Sunday, June 22nd, 2014

10 Habits for a Happy MarriageThe key to a happy marriage is the quality of your habits, according to therapists Ashley Davis Bush and Daniel Arthur Bush.

Thankfully, healthy habits can be learned. In their book 75 Habits for a Happy Marriage Davis Bush, LICSW, and Bush, Ph.D, share a variety of practical, valuable tips for couples to reconnect, communicate better and enhance their intimacy.

Expert Advice: 4 Great Tips for a Lasting Relationship

Sunday, June 22nd, 2014

tips-for-building-loving-relationship

A round-up of love advice from the pros.

There are so many people who are either looking for love or are constantly talking about how to save their relationships. I remember having many of those conversations with friends. We were all either in difficult relationships or had been single for a long time.

We all knew that we needed to work on ourselves first, but none of us were really sure what the key to a great relationship was. Some felt that great sex could always bring the relationship to a place of connection; others thought that meaningful communication was the answer. And when both of those tactics failed, then there were those who believed in using outside assistance (such as therapists or coaches) for support.

The Positive Effects of Heartbreak

Monday, June 16th, 2014

The Positive Effects of HeartbreakI read with every broken heart, we should become more adventurous. ~ Rilo Kiley

My heart hurts, I would say to others. And that kind of emotional pain is not just specific to me or only relevant to my life circumstances. I consider heartache to be a universal truth that comprises the human experience.

However, every cloud has a silver lining, right? I know, I know. It’s incredibly cliche. Once the dust settles — once we are able to process our feelings accordingly and obtain a bit of distance from that gut-wrenching state — while finding some semblance of closure, we could grasp the benefits of heartbreak as well.

3 Signs Your Relationship is in Trouble

Saturday, June 14th, 2014

3 Signs Your Relationship is in TroubleIn all relationships there are ebbs and flows; times when you feel closer and times when you feel more distant. You may go through periods when things are going well, and then find yourselves stuck in conflicts and misunderstandings.

Recognizing that there are problems is the first step toward finding out what you need to do address these problems and nurture your relationship out of troubled waters. Below are three significant indicators that your relationship is in trouble.

3 Paths for a Hotter Sex Life

Tuesday, June 10th, 2014

3 Paths for a Hotter Sex LifeImproving your sex life means focusing on more than just the physical.

Has your sex life dwindled from a hot, steamy affair to a lukewarm, occasional romp in the bedroom? You’re not alone. Many couples worry that their relationship is losing its original flair when the physical fun begins to simmer down.

While this may mean that your relationship is deepening into a new phase, a healthy sex life certainly goes a long way in terms of keeping partners connected. So how do you maintain it?

Using Curiosity to Improve Your Relationship

Tuesday, June 10th, 2014

Using Curiosity to Improve Your RelationshipWhen we interact with our partner, we may jump to conclusions, make assumptions and judge them — without our partner even uttering a word.

We may assume our partners are late from work because they took on another project — like usual. We may assume they forgot to make dinner because they don’t care.

We may judge them for certain habits, decisions or behaviors. When we approach our partners in these ways, it’s easy to misread a situation, hurt their feelings and spark a fight. In our haste, we might never find out that they had a bad day, got a flat tire, stopped to grab dinner or received important news.

Why People Should Reconsider Having Sex

Sunday, June 8th, 2014

Intimate lovers embrace

Why people have sex doesn’t seem like a mystery, but a study at the University of Texas asked that very question. We might assume that “it feels good” or “I wanted to show my love” or “I wanted to get pregnant” were among the top contenders of maybe five or so reasons, but we would be way off the mark.

The study found that people answered that question with over 200 distinct reasons. Interestingly, “revenge”; “fear”; “loneliness”; “possession”; “control”; “I didn’t know how to say no”; “I was obligated”; or “I wanted to make up from a fight” were also among the answers.

The Power of Empathy in Romantic Relationships & How to Enhance It

Sunday, June 8th, 2014

The Power of Empathy in Romantic Relationships & How to Enhance It“Empathy is truly the heart of the relationship,” said Carin Goldstein, a licensed marriage and family therapist.

“Without it, the relationship will struggle to survive.” That’s because empathy requires compassion. And, without compassion, couples can’t develop a bond.

“[A] bond is like glue: If there is no glue then everything falls apart.”

The Other Person Behind a Chronic Illness

Saturday, June 7th, 2014

aamft.orgMy husband asked me this morning how I slept.

I wasn’t sure if I should tell him the truth.

Yesterday was a bad day in a string of good days, which feels like a blizzard the first week of April. Aren’t we done with this?

Some Guidelines to Minimize Conflict and Maximize Connection

Sunday, June 1st, 2014

Using Curiosity to Improve Your RelationshipI often hear clients ask whether it’s always wise to express their true feelings — and how to share them in ways that invite contact rather than conflict.

Some people insist that every feeling they notice needs to be expressed to their partner or friends.They fear that by holding back, they’ll diminish themselves or lose self-respect. They maintain that by holding something back, they’re not being fully authentic, which might undermine trust and connection.

5 Things That Make a Good Partner

Sunday, June 1st, 2014

5 Things That Make a Good Partner There are various myths about what makes a good partner. For instance, it’s a myth that a good partner has to agree with what you say, do or think, according to Mudita Rastogi, Ph.D, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Arlington Heights, Ill.

“Sometimes, a great partner offers you a perspective that you would not have otherwise imagined.”

PMS & Relationships

Wednesday, May 28th, 2014

PMS and RelationshipsLast year I gave a talk on PMS and nobody came. I was surprised when I looked out at the empty room because so many of the women I see in therapy suffer from PMS.

Whether they come in to deal with anxiety, anger, depression, grief, self-esteem or a breakup, many add, “Oh, and it’s a lot worse when I’m PMSing. I feel like I’m going crazy. And I usually start a terrible fight with my partner.”

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