Marriage and Divorce Articles

Psychology Around the Net: September 13, 2014

Saturday, September 13th, 2014

Tips for Getting to Sleep and Staying Asleep

What happens when you and your partner are on different sleep-wake schedules? Do you experience anxiety when waiting on a text reply? What about social media — how is it affecting both your brain and your body? Find out within this week’s Psychology Around the Net.

Couples on Different Sleep Schedules Can Expect Conflict — and Adapt: If “[e]xperts think couples tend to have more stable sleep-wake routines and help co-regulate each other,” what happens when the two have sleep-wake schedules completely out of whack with one another?

Are You Fighting Fair? 5 Ways NOT to Fight With Your Partner

Wednesday, September 10th, 2014

Why Fighting With Your Spouse Might Save Your Marriage

There’s a reason you aren’t getting along.

Are you finding it difficult to communicate with an ex or with your partner? If so, then this article will shed some light on why you keep having challenging and aggressive conversations.

Below are five critical mistakes I see my clients (and myself!) making to create arguments, spur hatred and disable relationships.

Reader Question: How Can I Spice Up My ‘Monotogamy’?

Thursday, September 4th, 2014

Reader Question: How Can I Spice Up My 'Monotogamy'?Reader Monotogamous (do you see how I’m trying to coin that phrase?  Monotonous monogamy?  Come on, that’s pretty good) writes:

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years and I feel I am getting emotionally detached from him because we never have sex … I saw that he was watching porn all the time a few days ago and it bothered me because I feel he’s lost interest in me sexually and physically. I feel as if we are just friends. What are some ideas I could use to bring “love” back?

Well, M, I applaud you for trying to bring the spark back into your relationship. As far as I see it, there are three main areas in a relationship: Sex, Trust, and Communication.

Couples You Meet in Counseling #3: Mr. and Mrs. Just Not Feeling It

Wednesday, September 3rd, 2014

Couples You Meet in Counseling, #3: Mr. and Mrs. Just Not Feeling ItIn my previous two posts, I examined Mr. Perfect and his Crazy Wife, and the Ice Queen and the Martyr. Both of those couples are easier to work with in couples counseling than #3, Mr. and Mrs. Just Not Feeling It. 

Emotionally, this couple acts like they are already divorced, and have been for many years. There is rare, or no, sex, and often the partners sleep in separate rooms. The relationship can be entirely cold, sarcastic and bickering, or amicably businesslike.

5 Ways to Tell if You’re Having an Emotional Affair

Monday, September 1st, 2014

3 Signs Your Relationship is in Trouble

Would your partner really be OK with this?

Successful relationships are built on safety and trust — and a betrayal of that trust can derail a partnership before you know it. Both in the media and in our personal lives, we tend to associate such betrayals with physical affairs; however, an emotional affair, even without sex, can be just as threatening to your relationship.

Money and Relationships: Are You REALLY Fighting About Finances?

Sunday, August 31st, 2014

reasons-have-money-talk-with-partner

Don’t let your money troubles prevent you from having a great relationship.

My husband and I have had countless arguments about money. And we’re not alone; divorce statistics suggest that money is the major cause of most divorces. Suffice it to say that money is a hot topic and one that a lot of relationships struggle with.

However, the source of most of these arguments is not really money. In fact money arguments and stress have three completely different causes.

Is History Repeating in Your Love Life? Understand the Power of Love Scripts

Friday, August 29th, 2014

The Power of Love ScriptsIs it just a bad break that you have had one troubled relationship after another while your friend has had an amazing long-term marriage?

Is it just an astonishing coincidence that the difficulties you had with your mom you now have with your spouse?

Did you promise yourself that you’d never get involved with another alcoholic then find yourself marrying a workaholic?

What’s going on here? Do we have free will in determining our relationships? Or is our destiny scripted from birth, like a Greek tragedy?

The answer: a bit of both.

How a Little Space and Time Can Help Heal a Relationship Crisis

Thursday, August 28th, 2014

Portrait of unhappy young couple in bedroom

“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to go forward.” – C.S. Lewis

When you’re in the middle of any sort of relationship crisis, the very last thing you want to do is let go. Conflict with someone you love often makes you want to do the very opposite, especially when the other person is already doubting the future of the relationship.

When we’re feeling threatened by the loss of someone we love, we act from a place of fear. Our stress hormones skyrocket as we react with our fight or flight instinct. Suddenly we hold tighter, talk more, do more, and think of nothing else.

Soul Mates: Do They Really Exist?

Thursday, August 28th, 2014

Soul Mates: Do They Really Exist?Lately, I’ve perused articles regarding soul mates, and I couldn’t help but note how a soul mate may often be conceptualized as an individual’s “other half to their whole,” synchronizing with Plato’s theory.

A news article on Psych Central even relayed that those who perceive their partner as their soul mate, as being part of that kind of unity, were more dissatisfied in their relationship when conflict arose. After all, if you are with your soul mate, the perfect counterpart, why should trouble even surface? Couples who viewed their relationship as a journey, a journey that involves continual growth, were happier.

Relationship Lies: Learn These 4 Dating Myths NOW Ladies

Wednesday, August 27th, 2014

The Secret to Great Relationships of Any Kind

No, you won’t “just know” when you meet the right guy.

Are you totally baffled as to why you only seem to attract men who are far from ideal for you? Are you tired of ending up with men who aren’t ready for the same type of relationship you want?

Before you give up on the possibility of ever meeting a guy who truly measures up, you may want to take a look at how the following so-called “dating rules” may be adversely hurting your chances of finding The One.

Blue in the Face: When the Other Person Just Doesn’t ‘Get It’

Tuesday, August 26th, 2014

He Just Doesn’t ‘Get it’!Have you felt frustrated because someone close to you just doesn’t “get it,” even though you’ve explained your point over and over? During those times, do you feel yourself getting enraged or shaking your head in disgust?

We’re often under the illusion that if only the other person understood “the facts” (as we see them), he’d embrace our position. When he doesn’t, we’re perplexed and frustrated.  In those moments, it’s hard to imagine that the other person has his own version of “the facts.” That what we strongly adhere to may differ from his deeply entrenched beliefs. And that just as strongly as you believe you’re right, he believes you’re wrong.

Couples You Meet in Counseling: The Ice Queen and the Martyr

Monday, August 25th, 2014

upset couple backs bigstMy first post in this series tackled Mr. Perfect and his crazy wife. Here we turn to The Ice Queen and the Martyr, another commonly seen couple.

Here are some examples of what you hear from The Martyr in session:

“No matter what I do, it’s not good enough. She doesn’t show any appreciation or affection. I guess I don’t communicate well. But I’ve heard from other girlfriends that I’m actually great at communicating. “

“We haven’t had sex in months. She pushes me away. I guess I should try harder, but I already schedule date nights, help with housework, and get up with the baby.”

Recent Comments
  • Crowley: I agree, but read my note below. I’m not sure what else I could have done.
  • Crowley: My in laws were disappointed in my husband’s choice. I came from the wrong side of the tracks,...
  • msoroka: This is a great article! Thank you for reminding me that I do matter and need to focus on myself at times.
  • a female doc with ADHD: What an awesome list! Thanks for compiling this for everyone. I’ll make a point to...
  • Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFT: Monk, Pretty amazing what silence can do, huh? Thanks for sharing.
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