General

8 Effective Ways to Keep Your Partner Interested

Being in a relationship involves time, commitment, patience, a willingness to forgive, an openness and vulnerability, and giving without expectation of anything in return. This sounds like a lot of work and it is, but the potential rewards are well worth the effort. Yet even as you work at your relationship, you also need to endeavor to keep it fresh. Here are eight tips for doing so:

Make an effort to be present.
You might think that being in the same room with your partner is enough to be present. But that doesn’t hold true in a society where it’s easier to text than communicate even when two people are in the same room. Everyone’s buried in their electronic devices. Put the devices on mute. Your physical presence is one way to keep your partner interested, but there’s more at stake than simply occupying space.

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Anger

3 Ways Fighting Can Actually Help Your Relationship

Have it out! It's good for you.

There's something wholesome and good to be said for couples that never ever fight with each other -- I just don't know what it is. That hasn't been my experience so I really can't say whether that makes any particular love affair better.

My guess is that couples who never argue or have it out are probably building up a good head of steam inside themselves. Human nature -- even for the most zen among us -- seems to dictate that we speak our minds rather than bite our lips. The world doesn't move forward on the backs of lip biters.
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General

3 Myths about Healthy Marriages that Most People Think Are True

There are many myths about what a healthy marriage looks and feels like. When we start seeing these myths as facts, we get into problematic territory. Many myths create unrealistic standards, which when we bring into our homes and apply to our relationship can hinder them. For instance, if you think you should only attend therapy when your problems are dire, you might be waiting way too long.

Below, Lena Aburdene Derhally, MS, LPC, a psychotherapist and relationship expert, shared three myths and the associated facts, along with several practical tips.
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General

How to Recover from Failure

You create a presentation that does not go well. You launch a product that only 10 people buy. Your relationship is over. You don’t get the promotion or new job you really wanted. You get fired. You do something else, and feel like you’ve fallen flat on your face.

Understandably, you’re devastated. After all, you failed.

But failure doesn’t have to be a demoralizing letdown, a crushing catastrophe or a window into some bleak future. Because failure is what we make of it.
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General

5 Signs that You’ve Got Relationship Burnout

The term “burnout” means experiencing exhaustion, dwindling motivation, and a loss of interest in something you were once fully engaged in. While we usually apply this term to working environments, burnout can easily happen to people in their love lives, and often for the same reasons it happens in their work lives.

At work, burnout usually occurs when you start to feel you’re working too hard for the results that are being produced. It’s not just the long hours or the slow progress, it’s the combination of both that produces the loss of enjoyment.

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General

How to Love Your Partner When They’re the Least Lovable


Last week I walked in my front door after a long day of seeing clients, arms full of groceries, and was welcomed by a barking dog, a kitchen full of dirty dishes, and my husband cheerfully waving “hello” to me from his comfy spot on the couch. My heart sank and my blood began to boil.

As I proceed to trip over the dog, kick her water bowl and spill it all over, and drop a bag of groceries, praying the eggs didn’t break, all I could muster was a sharp, “Umm, could I get some help, here?” To which my husband responded with a bubbly, “Ya, hold on, let me finish watching this (YouTube) video -- this is hilarious!”
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Aging

Love is a Verb: Findings from the Longest Study on Happiness

For decades psychology as a science studied the flaws in human beings. Depression, anxiety and mental illness research and treatment protocols dominated the journals. Looking for causes and treatments, scientists sought to find ways to alleviate suffering for the populace. In spite of all the advances and success, one truth remained: Not being depressed isn’t the same as being happy.

Nonetheless, since 1938 researchers at Harvard have been collecting data about 724 men. The study followed two groups of men for 75 years. Harvard psychiatrist George Vaillant began the study of 268 Harvard sophomores, while law school professor Sheldon Glueck studied 456 12- to 16-year-old boys who grew up in inner city Boston.

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Family

Relationships — When Silence Is Golden

We might think that our spoken words express what people take in. Yet studies by Dr. Albert Mehrabian and colleagues (1) confirm the truth of the familiar maxim, “It’s not what you say; it’s how you say it.”

Here is what they found regarding how much of the message received by the listener is based on the sender’s words, voice, and body language when people are communicating about their feelings and attitudes:

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Alcoholism

5 Tips for Building a Healthy Relationship with Your Teenager

As any parent will know -- or at least will have been warned -- a child’s teenage years can be some of the toughest. It can be particularly hard if their parents are divorced or separated.

A whirlwind combination of puberty, hormones, high school years, and the growing need for independence can be a challenge for any parent. In a household with a teenager, every day can seem like a battle -- sometimes over the smallest things. As a parent, you want to be able to love and guide your child like you always have, but you need to understand that just as they’re changing, your relationship with them needs to change as well. These are some of the most formative years of their lives, so it’s good for them to know that their parents are there for them, and are willing to realize that they have a young adult who deserves their respect and guidance.

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Addiction

An Open Letter from a Wife in Recovery

Please note, this letter is my own and unrelated to any Al-Anon approved literature.
After reading An Open Letter From an Addict, I took the liberty of writing a letter back early on in my own recovery. Yes, my recovery.

After finding out my husband was actively using for years, I was devastated. How could I not know? What was I thinking this whole time?

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Brain and Behavior

5 Ways to Get Your Partner to Change

Everyone says you can’t change another person, nor should you try. You have to accept him or her, flaws and all.

While it’s fundamentally true that you can’t make others change -- they have to want to change themselves -- there are ways to influence someone else’s behavior. Below are five steps that increase the likelihood of change and may bring couples closer together.

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General

In Love & Still Lonely

Many of us believe that if we feel lonely, we are searching for love. We think that love is the most profound feeling possible; it is the glue that holds us together. It is the greatest joy we can experience.

While this may be true under the right circumstances, love also is fickle. We have the capacity to fall in love with someone who is unavailable. Maybe the person we love doesn’t love us back. We might fall in love with someone who is incapable of expressing emotions or affection. In fact, falling in love with the wrong person can be the worst of all heartaches.

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