General

Dating and Money: Must a Feminist Pay?

Who pays on dates? It used to be simple. The guy did the asking and the paying. Today it’s less clear, as we can see from this range of views:


Tom, 26, says he paid for the first five or six dates with his girlfriend of three years, who’s 29. “She felt bad about me always paying, so sometimes she does. “But I usually pay,” he adds, “and the guy is always expected to pay for the first date. I pay more because it’s the gentlemanly thing to do. If you’re a guy, it feels good to take a woman out to dinner.”
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Addiction

How Sex Addiction Can Change Mental Illness

I was married to a sex addict narcissist for close to 20 years. My father was a sex addict. I was a stripper many years ago and worked for many years around sex addicts. It started when I visited my father’s house on his weekend to have me after my parents' divorce. He was at work and I was a nosy child. I found a Playboy magazine. I remember it well. Suzanne Somers was on the cover. I slowly turned each page, looking at and soaking in the beauty and perfection of these women.

My immediate thought was that these women looked nothing like my mom. They were doing things my mom would never have done. I think I was only 8 or 9 years old. In that moment, I knew in my mind, like it was complete truth, that if I grew up and became a woman like that, I would be able to keep a man.

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Disorders

Psychology Around the Net: August 20, 2016


A few weeks ago, my beau and I decided to tackle a huge home improvement project together.

According to Amy Kipp, a couples and family therapist in San Antonio, "Working through the ups and downs of a big project helps you hone your communication skills [...] The sense of accomplishment and teamwork that results from a challenging shared experience strengthens a couple’s bond. (Her quote is featured in 7 Relationship Milestones That Are Just as Meaningful as Marriage.)

Thus, it seems working on this project is a way to strengthen our relationship. This project is not an improvement our home needs (i.e. we're not renovating a bathroom with a leaky toilet and busted shower tiles); it's an improvement we -- as the homeowners -- want (basically, we're a large part of our backyard into a sort of outdoor oasis). As such, creative ideas are flying everywhere. We have both collective and separate visions, and we're working to combine those visions while making sure each of us is happy.

We haven't thrown any paint brushes at each other yet, so I'd say we're succeeding so far.

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Family

Complaining About Your Partner to Your Friends? Why You Should Stop

When we get together with friends, many of us start complaining about our partners. After all, he missed date night -- which you’ve been planning for months -- at the last minute. Again. It doesn’t matter what you do; she’s rarely satisfied anyway. He doesn’t listen. She refuses to clean the house. He always wants to be with his friends -- it’s like you don’t even exist. She spends too much money. He just bought the most ridiculous thing.

And that’s just the half of it.
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General

Does Sexual Satisfaction Change the Longer You’re in a Relationship?

A common relationship secret shared among couples in a long-term relationship (whether married or not) concerns the frequency of sex. Although this open secret is usually about married couples, it's a concern shared by anyone in a long-term relationship. The longer the relationship, the conventional thinking goes, the less sex you're likely having. And maybe the reason you're having less sex is because it's less enjoyable for either you, your partner, or both of you.

Is there any truth to this belief that sexual enjoyment (and perhaps frequency) fades the longer you're in a relationship? Does science have the answer? You bet.

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General

What Healthy, Happy Couples Do and Don’t Do

There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. After all, every couple disagrees and runs into a range of challenges. So it isn’t that healthy, happy couples fight less than other couples. It isn’t that they are so alike and compatible that they’re somehow immune to conflict.

And yet there must be something that distinguishes their partnerships from unhealthy relationships, right?
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General

Early Warning Signs Your Relationship Is Making You Depressed

Everyone dreams of meeting their soul mate. Our brains actually encourage us to fall in love when we meet someone who we connect with by increasing the production of the hormone oxytocin, also known as the love hormone. Oxytocin production increases early on in a relationship and enhances the feelings associated with finding new love.   

Eventually the relationship evolves, the honeymoon phase passes and each person's...
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General

What Makes Relationships Happy and Healthy? Couples Therapists Weigh In

We tend to hold the misconception that healthy, happy relationships happen naturally. Organically. Even effortlessly. They move along an assembly line without requiring much, if any, intervention on our part. Because we worry that if we have to work at a marriage, then maybe it simply isn’t meant to be.

This month we asked couples therapists to reveal the biggest lessons they’ve learned about healthy, happy relationships. And their lessons mainly focused on work—the kind you’d do in the garden: nurture, tend, cultivate.
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Books

5 Tips for Doing It All–Really!

We often hear and read that we can’t do it all. We must pick and choose. We need to make serious sacrifices. We can either have a great career or a great family. We either volunteer or have a side business. But we need to resign ourselves to the fact that we can't have everything. It’s a message women regularly receive.

However, writer and author Linda Formichelli asserts that we can do it all. For instance, if your version of doing it all means cultivating a connected family, building a fulfilling career, enjoying fun hobbies, and traveling regularly, you can have that.
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Children and Teens

7 Ideas for Date Night When You Have to Stay in with Your Kids

Maybe your babysitter cancels. Maybe you’re trying to save money. Maybe you’re not ready to leave your baby. Maybe you don’t trust anyone else to watch your child. Maybe you’re too exhausted to leave the house. Maybe there’s some other reason. Either way, the end result is the same: You’ve got to stay home with your kids, and you’d like to spend some quality time with your partner.

“Nourishing your connection with your beloved is essential in your relationship and ultimately, your family thriving as a whole,” said Lily Zehner, EdD, MFT-C, a Denver-based therapist who specializes in sex, intimacy and relationships.

But date night doesn’t have to mean going out. As Zehner said, staying in “just gives you an opportunity to think outside the box.” Below are seven connection-strengthening, stay-at-home ideas.
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