Traditions are the foundations of the holidays. They cultivate bonds between families and friends. They make great memories. And, even if they’re ridiculous, they make for great stories (and hilarious pictures, no doubt).

Traditions are as unique as the families they originate from. For instance, every New Year’s Eve, my family cuts loose to old school Russian music, eats lots of European cuisine and exchanges presents at midnight. When my father was alive, every Hanukkah, we’d blast the Barry sisters, use the living room as a dance floor, and only take breaks for bites of potato latkes.

With the holidays in full swing, we wanted to know how therapists celebrate the season. Below, in this month’s Therapists Spill piece — a regular series that gives readers a glimpse into practitioners’ personal and professional lives — clinicians reveal their favorite rituals below.

It’s supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year — but not if negative emotions take hold of your holidays. So let’s be honest. The holidays are packed with stress, and therefore provoke tons of depression and anxiety.

But there is hope. Whether I’m fretting about something as trite as stocking stuffers or as complicated as managing difficult family relationships, I apply a few rules that I’ve learned over the years.

These 9 rules help me put the joy back into the festivities — or at least keep me from hurling a mistletoe at Santa and landing myself on the “naughty” list.

Most progressive parents know that lying to our kids is not a good idea — it’s not respectful or kind, and is likely to erode the trust our child has for us.

However, what about Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and unicorns? Is it okay to tell our child that Santa Claus and the like are real? Are these just innocent ‘white lies’ that we all tell our kids so their faces light up with joy as they indulge in the pleasure of make-believe?

Or is it a dangerous path that deeply affects our child’s capacity to trust adults when they eventually find out the truth?

Both my husband and I grew up believing in Santa and never felt betrayed when we figured it out. However, my eldest son, Jack, was told Santa was real, and boy was I unprepared for the fallout when he eventually found out the truth.

I have a theory regarding holiday stress: In the month of December, high levels of Cortisol (stress hormone) turn 80 percent of the American population into fruitcakes — just like the stale one delivered to your house yesterday.

Because on top of adding 675 things to your to-do list, you’ve now got to deal with the strained relationship with your dad and two brothers. Bummer.

Here, then, are my tips to keep your stress down a notch, so that you don’t turn into a fruitcake or hurl the mistletoe at an obnoxious relative.

Money can’t buy you love. Yet that doesn’t stop many of us from trying. In our hearts we know very well that pricey presents don’t make the perfect holiday. (There’s no such thing, anyway.)

Still, many of us get sucked into the holiday spending spree.

“When we are pressured to match a transaction of cash and heart-felt emotion, it feels like we can never spend enough,” said Mara Glatzel, MSW, a coach who helps women cultivate the lives they deserve.

Gift-giving is a loaded topic with many layers. For instance, it sparks comparison-making and fears about not being good enough, according to Ashley Eder, LPC, a psychotherapist in Boulder, Colo. “It’s natural that some people turn to high-value items to soothe their fears about gift exchange,” she said.

Many view the holidays as being trapped in one huge stress bubble that threatens to explode at any moment. People may even find themselves poking through their medicine cabinets, looking for a dose of Advil to minimize a tension-induced headache.

As a result of all the strain, many resent what should be “the most wonderful time of year.”

In her article, How to Enjoy the Holiday Season Again, author Debbie Mandel discusses how the holidays may ignite stress, sadness and loneliness. Missing a loved one, for instance, only intensifies those feelings.

“You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren’t dying. They’re merging into big conglomerates.”
~ Erma Bombeck

They are called stepfamilies, blended families, reconstituted or reconfigured. The modern family often includes multiple people from multiple relationships. More than any other time of year, holidays highlight the departure from what has been seen as the “traditional” family.

As with most things, this can be an affirmation of successful reconfiguration of one’s family or a reminder of all the things that were, and perhaps still are, wrong. For most, it’s a complicated mix of regrets, relief, anger, sorrow and joy.

For most, it’s how the adults manage the situation that determines the health and safety of the heart part of the new configuration of the family.

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Even though the holidays are about loved ones, they somehow don’t leave much time for couples to connect. Between added responsibilities and family obligations, it might seem like you’re spending less and less time together. Or maybe quantity isn’t the issue, but quality time is.

“It is very important for couples to remember that although they are integral parts of their extended families, and for couples with children, integral parts of creating rituals and memories for their children, they also — first and foremost — have a commitment to each other,” said Nikki Massey-Hastings, PsyD, a clinical psychologist who works with couples.

But while connecting might be tricky, it’s absolutely possible. Here are six ideas for reducing stress and staying connected during the bustling holiday season.

When you’re single, it can feel like everyone is coupled up. And that can be especially difficult during the holidays when party invites roll in, love seems to be in the air — and saccharine couples are splashed in jewelry commercials and harrowing Hallmark-esque stories.

Naturally, you might feel lonely, and avoid going out. But while ending a relationship can be painful, you can still enjoy yourself.

Below, Terri Orbuch, Ph.D, a relationship expert and author of Finding Love Again: 6 Simple Steps to a New and Happy Relationship, offers valuable tips for having a good holiday season.

The holidays are the perfect storm for stress, according to Mara Glatzel, MSW, a coach who helps women cultivate the lives they deserve. Thanks to the combination of sky-high expectations, over-scheduling, overspending and scant self-care, it’s no wonder so many of us dread the holiday season.

But while the holidays can be challenging, you can enjoy them your way. As Ashley Eder, LPC, a psychotherapist in Boulder, Colo., said, “You are free to honor what feels right to you, and you can even decide that as you go. Good people in your life will support you in this.”

Here are 8 tips to help you have an enjoyable, and fairly stress-free holiday.