Happiness Articles

Important: Do Not Overfeed (Yourself or Others)

Wednesday, October 15th, 2014

Female_betta_closeupLast weekend, we had a lot of excitement. My nine-year-old daughter got a betta fish, which she named Esther.

When we were talking to the clerk about how to care for the fish, she told us, “Be sure not to overfeed your fish. Just two pellets.”

When we read the little instruction book that came with the bowl, it said, “Do not overfeed your fish.” On the bottle of fish food, it said, “DO NOT OVERFEED.” So it seems clear to me that people have a real tendency to overfeed their fish.

Which got me thinking — why is it so fun to feed animals, birds, people? Even when it’s not such a good idea.

Don’t Get Stressed Out Trying to Chill Out!

Tuesday, October 14th, 2014

stress

Yoga and meditation will never help you de-stress until you understand this first.

Are you tired and fed up of being told that you need to de-stress your life? Are you confused over what you “should” do (versus what you “want” to do) because there are so many methods and “musts” about how de-stressing should be handled?

Try meditation. Now do yoga. Make time for that time management courses. And don’t forget tai-chi, regular massage, and regular running or swimming. Feeling stressed? Just hold your nose and let it go slowly to breath. Then, take a long walk while taping on your acupuncture points, uttering mantras … just don’t trip and fall while also doing your positive visualizations?

I could go on and on but you I’ll bet you get the picture.

You Can’t Force Things

Monday, October 13th, 2014

You Can't Force ThingsIt’s been tough getting to sleep the last few nights.

I’ll go to bed and turn off the light and then the thoughts start pouring in. I’ll worry that I didn’t do the right thing in any number of situations during the day. I’ll worry about the work I have to do the next day. I’ll worry that no matter what I do, I’ll never be closer to my dream of buying a house in the mountains.

It occurred to me last night while I was lying there, though, that you can’t force sleep. If you try to fall asleep and see that you’re not, that’s just one more thing to worry about. The sleep will come; it always does. There’s no point in trying to force it to happen.

Psychology Around the Net: October 11, 2014

Saturday, October 11th, 2014

Happy Couple

Find tips on creating a loving relationship, information about how your happiness affects your decision-making process, and more in this week’s Psychology Around the Net.

5 Tips to Create a Loving Relationship With Fewer Disappointments: Having trouble in the love department, or just want to improve your current relationship? Check out these five tips for focusing on yourself and finding “wholeness,” letting go of expectations, listening to understand rather than to react, and more.

Depression Increases Risk of Falls in Elderly: Recent research from Neuroscience Research Australia suggests the risk of falls among the elderly increases when depressive symptoms are present.

Do We Create Our Own Reality? Not So Fast!

Thursday, October 9th, 2014

Almeida_Júnior_-_Moça_com_LivroA popular New Age view that rankles me is that we create our own reality — and that we become what we think or believe. A related view is that we’re responsible for everything that happens to us.

If our relationships aren’t fulfilling, or if we’re struggling with financial hardship, or if caregiving for an elderly parent is souring our mood, we need only make an attitude adjustment to deliver us from suffering to joy. If we simply practice positive thinking and visualizations, we’ll be rewarded with peace of mind and enduring happiness.

Getting Your Needs Met

Wednesday, October 8th, 2014

Surefire Strategies That Don’t Work for ADHD – And Some That DoAre you a nice person? Are you considerate, thoughtful and sensitive to the needs of others? That’s admirable and praiseworthy!

So how come you’ve been feeling unappreciated lately? Your needs never seem to count. It’s not fair.

You take other people’s feelings into account. How come they run roughshod over yours?

6 Absolute Must-Haves for Relationship Compatibility

Wednesday, October 8th, 2014

6 Absolute Must-Haves for Relationship Compatibility

Romantic relationships can be a lot of fun! The start of a new relationship is nearly always one of the most exciting times, as you each explore one another’s hopes, dreams … and bodies.

But what happens if you want to turn that short-term fling into a longer-term thing? Will those same characteristics you found exciting and different in your romantic partner work long-term?

You don’t have to be 100 percent compatible in order to make a long-term relationship work. But there are a few areas that you’ll find it beneficial to have partner compatibility.

Learn to Love Your Body with These 3 Simple Steps

Tuesday, October 7th, 2014

Body Image

Happiness comes from embracing the authentic beauty of our bodies and here’s how!

We’re all exposed to the bombardment of images of women’s bodies, from television, movies, the internet, billboards, packaging and magazines — young, predominately white, thin, hard, flawless faces and bodies.

The images with which we’re assailed to sell us things are not authentic. They’re manipulated, photoshopped and radically changed — eyes made bigger, necks longer, skin smoother, legs thinner and on and on.

Counteracting Negative Self-Talk with Supportive Statements

Tuesday, October 7th, 2014

Counteracting Negative Self-Talk with Supportive Statements How we talk to ourselves affects everything. It influences everything from how we feel about ourselves to the decisions we make. Negative self-talk can sabotage and undermine our efforts in any part of our lives.

For instance, if you keep telling yourself you’re unworthy or incapable — “I can’t do this! I’m not smart enough!” — you might not pursue a promotion or ask for a raise at work. If you keep telling yourself you’re undeserving of love — “I have too much baggage!” — you might not date or date people who mistreat you. You might stay in toxic relationships, and let others walk all over you.

Questioners, What Questions Do You Ask about Your Habits?

Monday, October 6th, 2014

question-mark-headI posted recently about “Are you a people-pleaser?”  This question is related to the Four Tendencies framework, which I develop in Better Than Before, my book on habit change.

A key piece of self-knowledge — which is crucial to habit change — is “What is your ‘Tendency?” 

That is: How do you respond to expectations?

Compare and Despair: On Losing Jealousy

Monday, October 6th, 2014

PointeShoesWhen I was 11, I auditioned for a ballet school. Miss Jo, the founder of the program, and of The Dayton Ballet Company, came to the auditions and sat next to my mom.

“Your daughter has beautifully arched feet,” she told my mom. “Although we wish all dancers had high arches, it will make it more difficult for her to learn pointe. Keep her out of the advanced classes so that she doesn’t become discouraged.”

Psychology Around the Net: October 4, 2014

Saturday, October 4th, 2014

Talk Therapy

This week’s Psychology Around the Net features information about social anxiety treatments, ways to increase productivity, a possible link between depression and terrorism, and more.

Talk Therapy May Trump Medication For Social Anxiety, Study Says: The Lancet Psychiatry has published new research suggesting talk therapy — or cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) — might work better than medication when treating social anxiety.

The Link Between Depression and Terrorism: Could there be ties between depression symptoms and sympathy for violent protests and even terrorism? New research from the United Kingdom suggests so.

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