Neuroaesthetics is the relatively recent study of questions such as “Why do we like the things we like?” and “Why do some people find one thing pleasing while others find it appalling?” It has focused on issues such as creativity, visual and motor processing in visual artists and the varying factors involved in creative domains.

Many of these studies have examined music and the neural activity that occurs when we listen to and evaluate what we hear.

Salimpoor and Zatorre (2013) reviewed a number of research studies examining the effects of music on brain activity; in particular activity that relates to the feeling of pleasure. The evidence was clear: not only does music boost our sense of pleasure but there is also a dopamine activity in anticipation to the music that “touches us.”

But that’s where the tricky part lies: this effect is noteworthy only when it is music that we choose, otherwise it does not apply. When the experimenter chose music he or she found to be emotion-inducing, the participants did not experience the desired feeling or the “chills” effect.

Then, the question remains: Why do people get emotional with some songs but not with others? The answer is not clear.

Cultural background, previously reinforced neural activity, subjective interpretations, exposure to certain sequences of sound and many more variables come into play. The notion of subjectivity in evaluating art is something that still requires a lot of exploration.

However, despite the uncertainty regarding why the pleasurable sensation of music is not an absolute and objective process, there is an important point we ought to highlight. The clear message that we can hold onto is that music arouses rewarding emotions, similar to those involved in addictive behaviors that get reinforced over time.

This information, though intuitive to some degree, may be more helpful when discussing the topic of coping skills for symptoms of depression, “emotional numbness” and recovery from chemical dependency.

One of the goals in developing a treatment plan for depressive disorders and substance abuse is to come up with a set of coping skills that can be easily accessed when feeling “as if nothing brings feelings of joy.” Chemically dependent individuals often report that the feeling of numbness and anhedonia can be quickly escaped by using drugs or other sources of immediate gratification.

Of course, the problem is that along with the sense of pleasure comes other unwanted consequences. This is where the findings from these neuroaesthetic studies come into play: When contemplating ways to respond to a decreased sense of pleasure, knowledge about how music can make us feel good comes in handy. Turning to this risk-free way of experiencing pleasure can be incorporated in treatment methodologies for conditions associated with decreased sense of emotional rewards.

Having said that, we have to be careful not to imply that the strong neurological and physical reaction to substances and other addictive behaviors can be reduced and compared to the effect of listening to a David Bowie or Shakira song. However, knowing that music is a highly rewarding experience is a useful reminder when discussing ways to replace destructive habits, or when developing a set of tools that help manage feelings of depression.

Reference

Salimpoor, V.N.; Zatorre, R.J. (2013). Neural interactions that give rise to musical pleasure. Psychology of Aesthetics, Creativity, and the Arts, 7, 62-75. doi:10.1037/a0031819

Suggestions abound about the necessity (not mere option) of striving toward certain pinnacles in life, be they health challenges to overcome or professional goals to better implement. The condition of being human in a complex world requires much life-energy spent on going after what’s really important and required of each of us, rather than in chasing distractions.

I like the addition to this philosophy, though, of an element I believe that’s equally required in the mix. It was well stated in a New York Times Career column editorial on Sept. 30, 2012, describing that mere work and dedication are not enough to reach one’s goals.

Real “audacity” must be paired with a balancing measure of “humility.”

Akin to gentle strength — a metaphorical pairing I really latched onto a decade ago (and symbolized for me by a picture of a Sioux woman carrying a heavy burden of wood through snow on her shoulders) — risk and humility go hand in hand. The latter does not temper the trajectory of the extension of the risk-taking — our liabilities do that. Humility simply properly balances the scale, accompanying our grand, significant striving motions that move us forward to what we deserve in our lives, our bodies, our work, our relationships.

You must believe in yourself, your ideas and needs, and go toward what is required and needed for wholeness with a measured sense of humble acknowledgement that our unique assets are indeed worth preserving, declaring, and cultivating.

Attaining something that changes the playing field might seem unreachable to an individual, group or company at any given time. With risk-taking, with the grit of unusual and unique dedication to topics normally resisted, they can be accomplished.

True change is risk paid off as ultimate reward for many — daring to utter the normally not-spoken, pursuing what needs to be addressed that everyone hides their head in the sand about, whether it be mental health or business or cultural issues, and going after the big players who do naught but ill in their work. But it also exposes and celebrates those who create good as individuals and for society.

Things that require over-the-top courage are the very things that will liberate and invigorate an individual as much as the larger whole.

Think in your life where bold steps paid off. Then reflect some more on future risk and reward and link your next steps, with the appropriate measure of humility in the mix — experiential learning, professional advancement, a focus on personal or organizational wellness. Whatever is required, take risks; strive for it. No greater reward will reveal itself than deep personal satisfaction with far-reaching impact.

Now, in addition to your original stressor, you’re under more pressure because you’re scrambling to find lost keys, dealing with hurt feelings or frantically reconstructing forgotten projects.

And on top of that, when stressed, our emotions are running rampant. That scramble for the keys is anything but calm and a remark from your mother about that missed phone call can send you deep into guilt.

It’s easy to attribute these lapses in memory and emotional intensity to simple overload. When we’re stressed it’s typically at least in part because we’ve got too much going on and we just don’t have the capacity to keep up with everything.

Scientists have known what common sense tells us — that stress has an impact on memory and emotion.  But it’s not just that we have a lot going on and aren’t paying attention. Stress actually has an impact on how the brain processes information and stores memories. And research over the last several decades has pinpointed changes in certain areas of the brain during times of stress.

Now new research, published in the Journal of Neuroscience builds on previous understanding of the brain. It suggests that dramatic changes that occur in the brain when under stress are linked to our emotions and scattered memory.

Chronic stress affects two important areas of the brain when it comes to memory: the hippocampus and the amygdala.

In this new research, electrical signals in the brain associated with the formation of factual memories weaken while areas in the brain associated with emotion strengthen.

So, according to these researchers, with increasing stress, our brains are wired to discount factual information and to rely heavily on emotional experiences.

“Our findings suggest that the growing dominance of amygdalar activity over the hippocampus during and even after chronic stress may contribute to the enhanced emotional symptoms, alongside impaired cognitive function, seen in stress-related psychiatric disorders,” the researchers suggest.

So when you’re under stress — like when you’ve forgotten that important work document and your boss makes a comment that causes you to turn to jelly inside — keep in mind that your brain is wired to highlight the emotional part of her message. The factual part of the message may be lost altogether, which can leave you both intensely emotional and failing to act on important facts.

Begin to think about some new channels of growth for yourself, as the time of year for sprouts and buds and new green shoots has begun here in the northern hemisphere.

Seedlings and fresh growth are just busting out now, reaching for the sun’s light and warmth. The approach we take to our challenges, to what has been negatively buried or merely incubating, should be the same. Especially in this time of tremendous new growth, it is good to reflect on our own striving for warmth, insight, nourishment and potential to expand.

So what kinds of questions could you ask yourself to help nurture this growth?

Some questions to think on as your fingers work in soil or you tread paths in spring woods:

• Anything keeping you down, not allowing you to grasp for new means of expanding your life professionally, personally, in relationship?
• Just what are you experiencing that is keeping you from peace and wholeness?
• How did you previously move beyond past limitations, and how have past problems been a force for change in your life?

Upon our reflection, while the earth is engaged in upheaval, the past insight we have gained over challenges and transitions will allow for our own enrichment. And some of the best revelations happen when we allow ourselves not to think directly on problems but instead immerse in other activity. New means of understanding ourselves, our lives, and our world surely will sprout as well. In fact, we as humans are called to grasp for more, reaching ever beyond our boundaries.

Explore a different path in the woods. Take one you are not accustomed to and which evokes a little anxiety, for whatever reason. Go to a new coffee shop and challenge yourself to talk to someone you do not know (at an appropriate time).

Take a course, perhaps one of the novel MOOCs (Massive Open Online Courses) really coming into fruition now. They are free and offered both by the most prestigious universities or more casual ones. You’d have no excuse of inconvenience or cost as these cater truly to the individual spirit clamoring for knowledge.

What you cultivate literally will lift you up and out into an evolving, perhaps entirely new, way of being.
Channels of growth occur after seeds are planted in anticipation. Not all seeds flower. Some become different looking (or tasting) than they were supposed to. Great surprises happen.

Spring is a great time to ready yourself for what is about to flower. We are not meant to stagnate (though so many of us do, continually or periodically). Think of your own growth and just what channels that might take.

What sort of flower might you grow into?

Readers made many thought-provoking comments. One reader pointed to research that suggests that talking about a goal can lead to the false feeling of already having achieved that goal. I’ve seen that research — and I’ve also seen research suggesting that talking about a goal can help you stick to that goal, by making you feel more committed, and also more accountable to the people you’ve told. So it seems to go both ways.

From my own experience — a statistically insignificant yet often helpful data point — this is a point on which people differ. Some do better if they don’t talk it up too much; some do better if they tell others what they want to do.

Exhibit A is my former roommate, who told people that she did yoga, and telling them seemed to convince her that she did, in fact, do yoga. Perhaps discussing it undermined her determination actually to do it.

Exhibit B is my friend who is trying to drink less, who says it’s very helpful to her to announce, “I’m cutting back on my drinking, so I’m only having one glass of wine tonight.” For her, telling people adds an important layer of external accountability.

So I’m curious: in your personal experience: Does announcing a resolution make you more likely to keep it, or less likely — or neither?

I don’t think it matters much to me whether I announce it or not.¹  How about you?

I had a great time doing this interview with Eric Barker, for his site Barking Up the Wrong Tree. We covered a lot of happiness territory.

1. I suspect that’s a result of my Upholder nature.

Register:  https://www4.gotomeeting.com/register/469236071

Description:  This special Mother’s Day webinar features best-selling author and Psych Central blogger Zoë Kessler (ADHD from A to Zoë) and special guest Lisa Aro, aka “Queen of the Distracted.”

Mark it on your calendar now, and check out additional information about the webinar inside…

Aro has earned her crown as the busy mom of 7 kids (6 with ADHD), and a husband who also has ADHD. Aro chronicles her family life at her blog, Queen of the Distracted. No family is without its challenges; when you add ADHD into the mix, family life gets even more complicated.

Join Zoë and Lisa for an informal and informative chat on parenting ADHD kids from the perspective of a grown-up ADHD kid (Zoë) and a non-ADHD mom (Lisa) with lots of insights on how to manage the many foibles and follies while still enjoying the fun of an active ADHD family.

You’ll get lots of tips on how prevent burnout and bring out the best in your ADHD bunch as Lisa and Zoë share their stories with honesty and insight.

We look forward to having you join us on Tuesday, May 7 at 7:00 p.m. (EST) for this special one-hour pre-Mother’s Day event.

Register today!
Click here to register: Mother’s Day with ADHD: How to Keep it Happy!

Proper treatment doesn’t suppress emotions or dull a person’s ability to feel things deeply. It builds a protective layer — an emotional resilience — to safeguard a depressive from becoming overwhelmed and disabled by the difficulties of daily life.

However, the tools found in happiness research are those I practice in my recovery from depression and anxiety, even though, theoretically, I can be happy and depressed at the same time. I came up with my own recovery program that coincides with the steps toward happiness published in positive psychology studies.

1. Sleep

Sleep is crucial to sanity because sleep disturbances can contribute to, aggravate, and even cause mood disorders and a host of other illnesses. The link between sleep deprivation and psychosis was documented in a 2007 study at Harvard Medical School and the University of California at Berkeley. Using MRI scans, they found that sleep deprivation causes a person to become irrational because the brain can’t put an emotional event in proper prospective and is incapable of making an appropriate response. Chronic sleep deprivation, especially, is bad news. It often affects memory and concentration. And, according to one recent study, it can cause a decline in cognitive performance similar to the intoxicated brain.

2. Diet

My mouth and brain are in constant negotiation with each other because while one loves white bread, pasta, and chocolate, the other throws a hissy fit whenever they enter my blood stream. My diet has always been an important part of my recovery from depression, but two years ago — after working with the naturopath and reading Kathleen DesMaison’s “Potatoes Not Prozac” — I could more competently trace the path from my stomach to my limbic system. Moreover, I recognized with new clarity how directly everything that I put in my mouth affects my mood.

Here are the bad boys: nicotine, caffeine, alcohol, sugar, white flour, and processed food — you know, what you live on. Here are the good guys: protein; complex starches (whole grains, beans, potatoes); vegetables; vitamins (vitamin B-complex, vitamins C, D, and E, and a multivitamin); minerals (magnesium, calcium, and zinc); and omega-3 fatty acids. I’m religious about stocking up on omega-3 capsules because leading physicians at Harvard Medical School confirmed the positive effects of this natural, anti-inflammatory molecule on emotional health.

3. Exercise

Dr. James A. Blumenthal, a professor of medical psychology at Duke University, led a recent study in which he and his team discovered that, among the 202 depressed people randomly assigned to various treatments, three sessions of vigorous aerobic exercise were approximately as effective at treating depression as daily doses of Zoloft, when the treatment effects were measured after four months. A separate study showed that the depressives who improved with exercise were less likely to relapse after 10 months than those treated successfully with antidepressants, and the participants who continued to exercise beyond four months were half as likely to relapse months later compared to those who did not exercise.

Even as little as 20 minutes a week of physical activity can boost mental health. In a new Scottish study, reported in the British Journal of Sports Medicine, 20,000 people were asked about their state of mind and how much physical activity they do in a week. The results showed that the more physical activity a person engaged in — including housework, gardening, walking, and sports — the lower their risk of distress and anxiety.

Exercise relieves depression in several ways. First, cardiovascular workouts stimulate brain chemicals that foster growth of nerve cells. Second, exercise increases the activity of serotonin and/or norepinephrine. Third, a raised heart rate releases endorphins and a hormone known as ANP, which reduces pain, induces euphoria, and helps control the brain’s response to stress and anxiety. Other added benefits include improved sleep patterns, exposure to natural daylight (if you’re exercising outside), weight loss or maintenance, and psychological aids.

4. Relationships and Community

We are social creatures and are happiest when we are in relationship. One of the clearest findings in happiness research is that we need each other in order to thrive and be happy, that loving relationships are crucial to our well-being. Relationships create a space of safety where we can learn and explore. Belonging to a group or a community gives people a sense of identity. Studies indicate that social involvement can promote health, contribute toward faster recovery from trauma and illness, and lower the risk of stress-related health problems and mental illness.

Plenty of evidence indicates that support groups aid the recovery of persons struggling with depression and decrease rates of relapse. The New England Journal of Medicine published a study in December 2001 in which 158 women with metastatic breast cancer were assigned to a supportive-expressive therapy. These women showed greater improvement in psychological symptoms and reported less pain than the women with breast cancer who were assigned to the control group with no supportive therapy.

Another study in 2002, published in the American Journal of Psychiatry, followed a group of more than 100 persons with severe depression who joined online depression support groups. More than 95 percent of them said that their participation in the online support groups helped their symptoms. The online groups here on Psych Central are a great resource where you can find support from people going through similar struggles.

5. Purpose

The father of positive psychology, Martin Seligman, explains in his book, “Authentic Happiness,” that a critical element to happiness exists in using your signature strengths in the service of something you believe is larger than you. After collecting exhaustive questionnaires he found that the most satisfied people were those that had found a way to use their unique combination of strengths and talents to make a difference. Dan Baker, Ph.D., director of the Life Enhancement Program at Canyon Ranch, believes that a sense of purpose — committing oneself to a noble mission — and acts of altruism are strong antidotes to depression. And then there’s Gandhi, who wrote: “the best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”

6. Gratitude

Gratitude doesn’t come easily to me. When my girlfriend sees a half-full glass of fresh milk, I see a half-empty glass of cholesterol-rising, cardiac-arresting agents. And when the kids’ school is called off because some road somewhere in our county apparently accumulated a half of an inch of snow, she thanks God for an opportunity to build snowmen with she kids. I have a conversation with God, too, but it’s much different.

However, I train myself to say thank you more often than is natural for me because I know that gratitude is like broccoli — good for your health in more than one way. According to psychologists like Sonja Lyubomirsky at the University of California Riverside, keeping a gratitude journal — where you record once a week all the things you have to be grateful for — and other gratitude exercises can increase your energy, and relieve pain and fatigue.

Shameless plug! Join me at one of three private screenings of “Happy,” a film that explores what makes us happy, followed by a discussion on depression and happiness and a book signing. Click the following links for more information:

Here are some insights from their book.

What can understanding failure teach both seasoned and aspiring leaders that they can’t learn only by modeling success?

While studying success provides valuable lessons during good times, often these lessons aren’t applicable in hard times. The road isn’t always smooth and the sky isn’t always blue. When challenges present themselves, lessons gleaned from previous failures can help leaders avoid making the same mistake twice or making the wrong decisions.

Making mistakes — or failing — are part of taking healthy risk. They provide us with new ways of thinking and give us new insights into how we can improve as leaders.

Real failure doesn’t come from making mistakes; it comes from avoiding errors at all possible costs, from fear to take risks, and from the inability to grow. Being mistake-free does not lead to success.

Learning from our mistakes, however, is not always possible. Yes, every great leader makes mistakes they can learn from. But there are only a limited number of mistakes you can make before proving yourself an unworthy leader — you can only fall off the corporate ladder so many times before your climb is finished. And the higher up the ladder you get, the more severe the fall. The failure paradox is that in order to succeed we need to know failure — yet we live in an environment where we can’t afford to make mistakes. The solution? To study and learn from the mistakes of others in order to proactively avoid the predictable pitfalls that await every leader.

What are the specific benefits of learning from failure?

The benefits of learning from failure can be seen at both the individual level and the organizational level. We found strong statistical evidence between the ability to embrace mistakes and improved individual performance. Specifically we found that leaders who learn from mistakes are more proactive in deflecting potential problems, have a higher level of confidence when taking actions and making decisions, more accurately understand their environments, think more strategically, and are more creative.

These traits and capabilities also translated to the organizational level. Specifically we found that companies that are more accepting of mistakes have significantly better financial performance in terms of both top-line revenue growth, as well as bottom-line profit. We live in a culture that values perfections and hides failure. Companies pay their employees to succeed, not to fail.

However, the more we talk about the valuable lessons that come from mistakes and honor discussions about failure, the less likely it will be such a taboo subject.

For The Wisdom of Failure you conducted almost 1,000 interviews with managers and leaders. What about those interviews most surprised you?

We were surprised by how reluctant some leaders were to be associated with the topic of failure. Several times, we had leaders open up to us about key mistakes they had learned from in their own careers, only to call us back the next day to say they didn’t want us to use any material from their interviews in our book. Having their names associated with failure was too risky. Of course, we honored their request.

This reluctance to discuss failure emphasizes not only how difficult it is for leaders to talk about mistakes, but also the costly consequences leaders believe will follow if they do.

With social media a major part of teens’ lives, it’s important they have a healthy relationship with the Internet. What does this look like?

According to Udall-Weiner, it resembles any healthy relationship: It has boundaries.

It also shouldn’t have to meet all their needs, including emotional, social, intellectual and spiritual, she said. For instance, sites like Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest should never replace face-to-face interactions, she said. Instead, they should supplement them. That’s because online interactions lack the emotional depth and support of real-time relationships. “…[I]t’s hard to know whether someone is trustworthy, loyal, and invested in your well-being.”

The Internet also lets people keep a comfortable distance from others. Udall-Weiner cited MIT professor Sherry Turkle, who believes the Internet provides “the illusion of companionship, without the demands of friendship,” and “people are comforted by being in touch with a lot of people, whom they also keep at bay.”

Fortunately, parents can teach their kids to use the Internet in healthy ways. Below, Udall-Weiner shared five strategies.

What Parents Can Do

In Udall-Weiner’s experience, parents approach Internet use with extremes: “they either prohibit it, or they pretend it doesn’t exist, since they’re quite terrified to find out what their child is really doing online.” Instead, she suggested communicating with your kids and teaching them to be more aware of how they use the Internet.

1. Talk to your teen about their time online.

Talking to your kids about how they use social media and technology helps them break out of autopilot and become more mindful of their actions and reactions, Udall-Weiner said. “[This] is an important skill when it comes to developing emotional competence.” It’s important for teens to understand how being online affects them (such as their mood).

She suggested asking your kids these questions: “Which websites do you often visit?  How do you feel emotionally, both during and after using these sites? Have you ever had any uncomfortable experiences online, or seen anything upsetting? Do you believe that there are any downsides to viewing the sites you regularly visit, or to using the Internet in general?”

2. Teach your teen to be media literate.

A mistake parents often make, according to Udall-Weiner, is that they don’t teach their kids about media literacy. But it’s vital for kids to understand that what they see isn’t what they get online. For instance, “Parents need to actively remind their children that images are not reality—that no one is as thin, perfectly-muscled, unwrinkled, or flawless as that person in the ad.” She suggested visiting Media Smarts for more information.

3. Set time limits on Internet use.

Teens are still developing their executive functions, which include monitoring behavior, organizing information and setting goals, she said. Plus, spending too much time on sites like Facebook can make teens feel worse. “My clients regularly tell me that they become very upset after looking at Facebook, since everyone looks happier, thinner, or more popular than they feel.” So parents might need to set restrictions on Internet use.

4. Surrender all phones before bedtime.

“This is a way to ensure that kids aren’t up late texting or surfing the web, rather than getting precious sleep,” Udall-Weiner said. This rule also applies to parents’ phones, “since kids emulate what they see.”

5. Know the research about Internet use.

Research has suggested that looking at images of thin models — which are splashed all over the Internet — may be associated with various negative consequences. “After seeing these images, people report things like decreased self-esteem, poor body image, depression, guilt, shame, stress, and an urge to engage in eating-disordered behavior, such as restricting food intake,” said Udall-Weiner. She also specializes in body image and eating disorders and founded ED Educate, a website with resources for parents.

Research also has suggested that the Internet makes us feel more disconnected from others, she said. “It’s important for teens to know the research on Internet use.” Talk to your kids about these findings.

Udall-Weiner shares more information and tips on supervising your child’s Internet use in this video.

I was reading a description of someone, and it said, “He lives with his wife and children on the Upper East Side of Manhattan.” As I read this line, I had a fleeting yet complete vision of what that life would be like–the life of a person living with his family on the Upper East Side.

But in the next moment, I realized, “Wait, that’s my life, I live in that neighborhood myself, with my family!”

Yet the reality of my experience doesn’t at all match my vision of what that “life” would be like. And oddly, my imaginary version seems richer and more real, in a way, than my actual experience.

I realized I can provoke this feeling, just by putting my own experience into words.

If I think, “She went to an all-girl school in the Midwest,” I have an idea of what that was like — but I did go to an all-girl school in the Midwest, and it was very different from what my imagination kicks up.

Maybe “parallax feeling” is a term to describe this.

Have you ever experienced this feeling? It’s hard to describe.

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This is one of those studies that take a moment to get your mind around.

Imagine you are an itinerant individual living in absolute penury in a third-world country. You survive by going through other people’s garbage and extracting your food for the day as well as other essentials like clothing and footwear. You live your life hand to mouth and what your hand finds are the things others have discarded. You recycle what you can for money, and this considerable effort earns you about $3 a day.

By downward social comparison, almost anyone seeing a person living in these conditions would assume the individuals engaged in this activity would resent their life circumstance and view their life as anything but happy.

But this study shows this is a false assumption.

Not only are these people not depressed, they are optimistic, have good relationships, and many of them play sports and read. The majority of them are happy with their lives.

Extreme poverty is considered to have a negative effect on happiness. In those instances, when poor people are happy, it is attributed either to their having very low future expectations or having adapted to their circumstances. But this study showed something different. Overall these rubbish collectors’ attitude is better about their future than their present. They believe their tomorrow will be better than today.

Research has shown that being a consumer of material goods does not in and of itself make us happy. What does increase our well-being and happiness is more leisure time and activities, support and connection with family, and being involved in good relationships. We are social creatures first and foremost. The desire to belong and identify with others is woven into our wiring as human beings. Everything from our health to our happiness improves when our social relations improve.

This is also true when we are involved in meaningful work — particularly work where we have an opportunity to develop our abilities, work toward objectives, have supervisory support, feel safe, and get status from the work we do. But these are hardly the conditions for rubbish collectors. Trash pickers are exposed to health problems, violence, and severe social stigmatization. This is despite the fact that the work they do provides a benefit to society. Recycling problems around the world are ubiquitous and trash pickers render a service that is both environmentally useful and economically practical. Still, this group is typically marginalized by society.

Yet the trash collectors of León are a resilient group and this study sheds some light on the relationship between income and happiness. Rather than any connection to income, the research found that the key to feeling happy is having a positive expectation for the future. Of those who rated themselves as happy, more than twice as many trash collectors could see brighter futures for themselves than their less optimistic counterparts. Additionally, men were happier than women, as were those who lived with fewer people.

But what about having enough food?

The pioneering work of Abraham Maslow and his hierarchy of needs proposed that we must have lower needs satisfied before having higher needs met. He argued we need to have our physiological needs met (things like food, water and sleep) before concerning ourselves with safety and security needs — and that these have to be satisfied before we move toward our need to be loved, esteemed, and eventually self-actualized.

The current research shows that having enough food is, indeed, a significant factor in whether an individual ranks himself as happy. Almost 90 percent of the trash collectors who rated themselves as happy had enough food to eat during the last month. This was a statistically significant finding in the study and would seem to be an indication that Maslow was right.

But in the article Vazquez points out an interesting fact: While not statistically significant, more than 70 percent of those who did not have enough to eat still rated themselves as happy. These individuals did not have the most basic ability to find enough food to feed themselves properly the month prior to the rating. This means that in spite of hunger, optimism and relationship may be more satisfying than knowing where our next meal is coming from. Socrates could have been talking about the trash collectors of León when he said: “Worthless people live only to eat and drink; people of worth eat and drink only to live.”

What can we learn from the stigmatized, impoverished, yet resilient trash pickers of León? We discover that optimism about tomorrow is important to us today; that good relationships are better than money in the bank; and that Maslow’s hierarchy of needs may not always be true.

In the words of Vazquez we come to find: “… the majority of the collectors are happy, and are convinced that they can achieve a better quality of life in the future with hard work and perseverance.”

In other words — like many of us.

Reference

Vázquez, J.J. (2013) Happiness among the garbage: Differences in overall happiness among trash pickers in León (Nicaragua), The Journal of Positive Psychology, Vol. 8, No. 1, 1–11. http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/17439760.2012.743574

She gives several powerful examples: We vote a certain way because our parents do. We work a numbing number of hours because we’re taught this makes us good providers. We sabotage our successes because we’re taught that wanting money is akin to greed.

In the midst of clinging to these old concepts, we forget the most important idea of all: living from our authentic values.

When we lead lives based on what matters to us most, we’re happier and more fulfilled. However, when we lead lives based on ideas that don’t fit anymore, we use random things to fill us up and typically end up feeling empty anyway.

Campbell references things like reality TV, shopping sprees, toxic relationships and alcohol.  “These things provide quick bursts of happiness or relief, but always leave you feeling a bit hungry, a bit empty. It’s kind of like spiritual junk food: it tastes good going in, but it isn’t enough to sustain you.”

In her book, Campbell features a powerful exercise to help us rediscover our values, because, as she writes, “Understanding your values and desires will create the infrastructure for your life.” She suggests spending at least 30 minutes on this exercise and doing it every year. Here are the details:

• Ask yourself, “What matters to me now?”
• Jot down your responses — without judging yourself. The key is to discover your authentic values.
• Rank your responses. So put the number 1 by what you value most. Campbell explains that our core values will likely remain the same but their rankings might change. For instance, your career might top your list, but after you have kids, it slides into second.
• Next, grade yourself. If you’re taking daily action toward your top 5 values, give yourself an A, Campbell writes.  Again, be honest. “Where are you soaring? Where are you falling short?”
• For the values you assigned a B and below, consider if each one still resonates with you. Is it outdated? If it’s not and it’s still very important to you, “look then at the ways you’ve separated from it and figure out a few things you can do to get back on track.”
• List several things you can do today to honor your top values. If you value spiritual growth, Campbell writes, you might start meditating for 10 minutes a day. Engage daily in the activities that align with your values. Put them on your to-do list.

According to Campbell, “When you’re willing to discover and live from your deepest values, life not only becomes a more fulfilling and passionate adventure, but it also becomes easier.” Decisions suddenly seem clearer, and we stop second-guessing ourselves so much. Instead, we focus on “creating a life that supports the things that drive it. [We] live with personal integrity.”

In the United States alone, people spend more than four hours a day watching TV.

Watching great television can be an enormous source of pleasure. Channel surfing, however, becomes a default activity that doesn’t add a lot to our happiness — yet we persist in watching.

So how does TV fit into happiness?

To answer that question, I had to break “fun” into three types…

Challenging fun is the most rewarding, and the most demanding.

Learning to play golf is challenging fun. First you have to learn the equipment, the rules, the vocabulary, the motions. You’re frustrated. You have to do some errands. It takes a lot of time to get any kind of mastery. But slowly it becomes more fun. You’re outside, you’re with friends, you’re gaining mastery, you’re visiting new places—that’s fun! Challenging fun takes patience, time, energy, perseverance, and a long time horizon.

Usually less challenging, but still requiring a fair bit of effort, is accommodating fun.

Going on a family trip to the zoo is accommodating fun. Going to a family Thanksgiving dinner, going to a firm outing, going to dinner and a movie with friends, all require accommodation. You’re strengthening relationships, you’re building memories, you’re having fun – but perhaps not as much fun as you’d have if you dictated the terms. Accommodating fun takes a lot of energy, organization, coordination with other people, and, well, accommodation.

Relaxing fun is practically effortless.

Relaxing fun is relaxing. It takes little energy. You don’t have to hone skills or take much action. There’s very little coordination with other people or preparation involved. Sitting by the pool, flipping through magazines, and watching TV are examples of relaxing fun.

Challenging fun and accommodating fun, over the long term, bring more happiness, because they’re sources of those elements that make people happiest: strong personal bonds, mastery, an atmosphere of growth. Relaxing fun tends to be passive — by design.

So Why Do We Watch So Much TV?

So if relaxing fun is the least fun kind of fun, why is watching TV so popular?

Because, while we get more out of challenging fun and accommodating fun, we also must put more into it. Many of the activities that bring the most happiness also require a lot of energy, time, and planning. But in the end, they bring more happiness.

To boost happiness, if most of your leisure time is dedicated to relaxing fun, try to incorporate some challenging or accommodating fun into the mix.

What kinds of challenging or accommodating fun activities do you make sure to include in your day?
Do you struggle to limit your time with TV (or any kind of screen)?

Join my happiness discussion on Facebook, where every day I pose questions meant to help you think about your own happiness–also, just fun.

Barbara Fredrickson’s new book, Love 2.0, is a powerful new perspective on what love, a renewable resource, means to our body. She walks us through a biochemical and behavioral labyrinth that is fascinating and gives us pause for thought. (To read a recent review of this leading researcher’s book check here.)

The key to understanding what happens to us during the time there is mutual caring is called “positivity resonance” for Fredrickson. It is a type of alignment of three features where there is a release of the neuropeptide oxytocin (sometime dubbed the love hormone because it is released in large quantities during orgasm); an enhanced vagal tone (the association of heart rate to breathing rate); and our brain syncing with another person during something called, appropriately enough, “brain coupling”. It is the sharing of positive emotions that generates what Fredrickson calls ‘micro-moments’. The moments are “virtually identical” whether they occur between parent and child, friends, lovers, or total strangers.

Wait a minute.

Let’s break this down: If your son brings home his report card and is proud to show you the “A” he received and you hug him that certainly would seem to qualify. If you are sitting across from your best friend and share a laugh over a joke he has told you, this is a micro-moment. If you are making love and are lost in your lover’s eyes this is certainly on the list. But what if you are on line at Starbucks and you and a stranger notice a little girl with her lips pressed against the glass counter trying to kiss the goodies on the other side. You and the stranger smile and nod slightly toward each other. Both of you would know this was a shared positive emotion – that it was a unique experience for the two of you. Certainly it is a micro-moment. But is this love?

Barbara Fredrickson would say yes.

She doesn’t think we need to limit our definition of love to one person or even to a small group of intimates. She believes we should look for and savor these micro-moments as they can happen all around us – even with strangers.

Her book offers several suggestions for ‘priming the pump’ so to speak for increasing the likelihood of these experiences. Here are a couple from the book—and you can go online at positivityresonance.com under the ‘tools’ section and register free to keep track of your progress in building positive emotions.

The first one is the social connections reflection. In this experience pick the three longest social connections you’ve had during the day and review them at the end of the day. Then see how true these two statements are:

• During these social connections I felt “in tune” with the person/s around me.

• During these social connections I felt close to the person/s.

Rate the truth of these statements on a scale from 1-7 where 1 is not true at all and 7 is very true.

This simple reflection on daily social encounters showed that over time it increases upward spirals of positivity and, even more surprisingly, increase vagal tone. It literally makes your heart better.

The next practice is a Loving Kindness Meditation (LKM). The goal here is to rouse tender, loving feelings as you visualize someone you love. There are many versions of this and the links below will take you to more complete meditations, but the essence of the practice is to imagine someone you love, allow warm feeling for them arise, and as you do recite these phrases to yourself.

• May (this person) feel safe.

• May (this person) feel happy.
• May (this person) feel healthy.
• May (this person) live his or her life with ease.

Dr. Fredrickson has kindly (of course) created a beautiful collection of meditations on her site, including one for LKM. You should check it out and try them all.

The quality of her research on LKM was so impressive on improving vagal tone that the Dalai Lama invited her to talk with him. Fredrickson was able to determine that those who had the largest increases in vagal tone had the most frequent positivity resonance experiences with others. Why was her research so important? Before her studies vagal tone was thought to be as stable and as unchangeable as one’s height. You either had good tone or not.

We could all use a little more love in our life, yes? Then keep your eyes wide as you wait in line for that latte. You may find it comes with a little extra sweetness.

In the context of life of a happy life, something like a crowded coat closet or an overflowing in-box seems trivial — and it is trivial — and yet I find that I get a disproportionate charge of energy and good cheer from clearing clutter. An orderly environment makes me feel more in control of my life, and if this is an illusion, it’s a helpful illusion.

Even people who thrive on a little chaos tend to have a limit, and enjoy orderliness to some degree.

However, there’s a group of people who seem oblivious to clutter. They don’t appear to see it at all.

Now, I’m not talking about people who can stand to see dirty dishes scattered around, because they know if they wait, a spouse will collect the dishes (perhaps complaining all the while; see these facts about shared work).

Very often, people in a couple or in a group have different levels of tolerance for clutter, and the ones with the least tolerance end up doing the most tidying, and the ones with more tolerance end up doing less. However, in most cases, the messier ones would eventually cave and do some clutter-clearing, too. They want to be in environments that are reasonably orderly (though others might disagree by what is “reasonable”).

But what about the people who don’t seem to register clutter, ever?

A friend told me, “My husband never notices anything. As an experiment, when we got back from a trip, I left a suitcase full of his dirty clothes right in front of the front door, so he’d have to step over it to get in the house. I wanted to see how long he’d put up with it. After a month, I called off the experiment and dealt with the suitcase myself.”

If this describes you — I’m curious… Does clutter simply not register, or does it just not bug you? Do you feel there’s any value in creating an orderly environment, even if disorder doesn’t particularly bother you? Or is it not worth the energy and time? Do you have trouble finding things, or do you know exactly where to find your belongings? Is this a source of conflict with other people, or do they accept this aspect of your nature?

If this describes someone you know — how do you deal with this aspect of their personality? Is it possible to cajole folks like this into being more orderly, or is it impossible, because they simply don’t see it? Is this a characteristic that changes as people get older, or not?

Also, I’m not talking about hoarding. Just about mess.

I’m not sure why these questions seem particularly pressing today! And yet I’ve been thinking about them all afternoon.