How to Be Selfish

If you’re reading this you may think you know what it means to be selfish, but do you really understand how to be selfish? What if you haven’t actually been selfish in years, what you thought was selfish was actually just barely glancing the surface of dignity and self-preservation, and you've been giving blood all this time?

This isn’t a how-to guide for narcissists. They don’t need any pointers. This is for all the people who often feel like doormats. The people who get stuck with the extra work at the office, the parents who can’t remember the last time they took a moment for themselves, the spouses who feel they can never win, and everyone who chronically puts the needs of others first.
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12 Tips to Get Motivated When You’re Stuck in a Life Rut

Don't worry: It's only a temporary rut.

It's common to look at unproductive people and just call them lazy. After all, we all know what laziness "looks" like. We've been lazy ourselves, but it's been a temporary, short-lived condition, and we move on to pursue our goals and dreams with plenty of determination.

But what happens when we lose that determination, and why do we lose it? Have we become one of the "lazy" people we've been so quick to condemn in the past? Or has fear taken over and stopped us dead in our tracks?

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5 Reasons Not to Go Home for Christmas

“Oh, there’s no place like home for the holidays...” So begins one of the Christmas songs that is incessantly on the radio this time of year. The song celebrates the holiday fantasy of a happy family going on a sleigh ride, enjoying themselves around a table laden with holiday foods or gathering around a warm, homey fire. The strong cultural mandate to go “home” is hard to resist. But there are good reasons for staying put in the new home you’ve made.

It’s hard to disappoint the people who will be disappointed, but maybe the healthiest thing you can do for you and yours is to take a bye this year.
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Anxiety and Panic

Psychology Around the Net: November 28, 2015

Happy Saturday, Psych Central readers!

If you live in America, chances are this was a pretty...eventful week for you, what with the Thanksgiving holiday and the ever-controversial Black Friday.

We hope today is a day a peace and relaxation, and we've gathered all the latest mental health-related news across the 'net to help you settle down and refocus.

This week, you'll learn more about how to manage the holidays when you have anxiety, the most important things everyone should know about seasonal depression, and the one thing you're likely not doing for yourself if you're unhappy.

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Surprising Differences between Lonely Women and Lonely Men

It’s certainly true that men and women handle negative emotional states differently. When things aren’t going well in a woman’s life, she tends to interpret it as depression. When a man doesn’t feel good about himself, he tends to express it as anger.

But men and women have loneliness in common. Do they handle it differently? Who's more prone to it? Who’s better at overcoming it? Let’s find out.

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Psychology Around the Net: November 21, 2015

With Thanksgiving just a few days away, we're in the throes of the holiday season here in America; unfortunately, this isn't a happy time for all. However, psychologists have a few tips and tricks to keep your holiday blues in check.

Of course, we've also got the latest on sex and happiness, how a mother's age could affect her daughter's mental health, whether your child's ADHD medication puts him or her at risk for bullying, and more.

Have a happy Saturday!

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Brain and Behavior

Embracing Your Inner Self

Embrace and make peace with life because in this very moment you are right where you were meant to be. We have the opportunity to grow and learn from the past and create an amazing future.

Growing up, I never felt good enough. Not only was this my internal dialogue but it was reiterated by my father. So for years I had to learn how to embrace positive cognitions and self-talk. It hasn’t come naturally to me, but with time and coaching I learned how to embrace myself and take control of my life.

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Children and Teens

What I Learned from Slowing Down

On a daily basis, there are tragic events happening all across the world. We read it in the newspaper, see it on television, hear it on the radio, and even see it on our Twitter feeds. These tragic events, even from just reading about them, can make us feel sad, depressed and even helpless.

Reading about all of the atrocities in the world makes me want to give as many kids water, education, electricity and Internet access as possible. Yet I also feel trapped in my own world. I am frozen in ice about how to act. I want to help, but it really is not time for me to do so.

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Think Twice Before You Label Events as Good or Bad

There is a Taoist parable about an old farmer who owned one beautiful horse. One day, this beloved horse ran away. His neighbors, upon hearing the news, came over to give their condolences. “We are so sorry,” they said. “How terrible this must be for you.”

He replied with a simple “Maybe.”

A few days later, the lost horse came back with three wild horses. His neighbors rushed to his home. “How wonderful! You are so very fortunate!”

The old farmer just said “Maybe.”
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12 Habits for Developing Greater Self-Love

Self-love is often something we find quite challenging. It can seem self-centered or indulgent, especially for those who are mothers or partners. How often do you put others' needs before your own? As a mother, I often took the burned bits of toast, let my son have the last chocolate, or went without the ice cream because we couldn't quite afford one for everyone.

But developing and nurturing loving kindness toward ourselves is an important part of health, healing and happiness. So to kick-start us on that journey, here are some helpful tips:

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The Perfectionist’s Guide to Making Decisions: The Art of Satisficing

You’re awesome at your job. You know it, feedback from colleagues and clients has affirmed it, and you consistently deliver results that are above and beyond what’s been asked of you. You repeat this pattern enough times and it becomes the norm -- which, frankly, can be exhausting.

High achievers are prone to this pattern of behavior, which is usually completely unsustainable. Eventually, you realize that no matter how many cups of coffee you drink, after-work happy hours and gym sessions you cancel, or calls from your parents you send to voicemail, there’s no possible way to create what you really need:
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