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Happiness Articles

Further Secrets of Adulthood — for Habits

Tuesday, April 15th, 2014

Further Secrets of Adulthood -- for HabitsI collect axioms, paradoxes, maxims, teaching stories, proverbs, and aphorisms of all sorts, because I love to see complex ideas distilled into a few words.

For years, I’ve been writing my “Secrets of Adulthood,” which are the principles I’ve managed to grasp as I’ve become an adult.

Right now, I’m hard at work editing my next book, Before and After, about how we make and break habits — really.

Is the Pursuit of Happiness Real?

Tuesday, April 8th, 2014

Is the Pursuit of Happiness Real?The pursuit of happiness is a fallacy.

There, I said it.

The Psychology of Treats & Treating Yourself

Sunday, April 6th, 2014

The Psychology of Treats & Treating YourselfI’ve asked this question before, but I’m asking again, because I find it so fascinating: Do you have any “treats” that don’t look like treats? What are your treats?

In my forthcoming book, Before and After, about how we make and break habits — really — I identify a bunch of strategies we can use to change our habits.

Perhaps the most delightful one is the Strategy of Treats. (To be notified when the book is available for pre-order, sign up here.)

Being Authentic, Not Obnoxious

Tuesday, April 1st, 2014

Why Men Don't Ask for Directions

Do you know people who pride themselves on being authentic, yet when you walk away from them, you feel badly about yourself and the interaction? Perhaps they’re angry, accusatory, blaming, and shaming, yet they have no clue how they’ve hurt you.

“I tell it like it is,” they proudly declare. “I say exactly what I think. You want me to be honest, right?”

Using the Power of Authenticity to Create Intimacy

Thursday, March 27th, 2014

Need a BACK RUBWe long for acceptance, love, and connection. But oftentimes we don’t know how to create it. In fact, we often push away the tender love we long for.

Love and intimacy are not created by trying to pull it toward us or manipulating people into giving us what we want. Connections blossom as we create a climate that’s conducive for them. Love and intimacy have a greater opportunity to grow as we cultivate a climate of authenticity.

Work with the Flow of Life for Business Success

Monday, March 24th, 2014

Work with the Flow of Life for Business SuccessThere is one secret to abundant business prosperity that only a handful of successful companies throughout the world seem to know. It is this: Human beings are hardwired to be social, interconnected beings. Enduring success in business depends entirely on working with the flow of human life rather than against it.

Too many corporations operate from a fundamental and deep-seated fear of lack, which turns them into forceful, resource-grabbing militaristic machines that leave workers deeply disconnected and discontented.

How to Overcome 3 Common Barriers to Success

Monday, March 24th, 2014

How to Overcome 3 Common Barriers to SuccessSuccess isn’t a one-size-fits-all concept. But many of us make the mistake of believing it is. We may compare our lives to others. We may worry we don’t measure up.

We may strive for material things at the expense of what’s truly meaningful. We may be unsure of what success looks like in our lives.

Natasha Lindor, a coach who helps professionals have a successful career while working less and living more, defines success as “feelings of joy, happiness, gratitude, peace and soul-satisfaction that you experience throughout the process of reaching the goals you’ve set for yourself.”

She helps clients get clear on what’s important for them, why it’s important and how they want to incorporate those values into their lives.

Below, Lindor, founder of The AND Factor, shared three obstacles that sabotage success and how you can overcome them.

Deconstructing the Fear of Rejection: What Are We Really Afraid Of?

Monday, March 17th, 2014

Deconstructing the Fear of Rejection: What Are We Really Afraid Of?The fear of rejection is one of our deepest human fears. Biologically wired with a longing to belong, we fear being seen in a critical way. We’re anxious about the prospect of being cut off, demeaned, or isolated. We fear being alone. We dread change.

The depth and flavor of fear varies for each individual, although there are common elements at play. If we’re willing to look, what is our actual felt experience of rejection? What are we really afraid of?

Do You Find It Hard to Turn Off the Light, Even When You Need the Sleep?

Sunday, March 16th, 2014

Do You Find It Hard to Turn Off the Light, Even When You Need the Sleep?Because I’m working on Before and After, my new book about habit-formation, I constantly talk to people about their habits, and as I heard about people’s sleep habits, something puzzled me.

For me, sleep is a self-reinforcing habit; I feel so much better when I get enough sleep that I find it fairly easy to respect my bedtime.

Often, however, people tell me that they’re painfully, chronically exhausted — yet when I suggest that they go to bed earlier, they become angry and resentful. Usually, these folks desperately need the sleep. So why do they get so upset at the thought of moving up their bedtime?

Are Moods & Emotions ‘Contagious’ on Facebook?

Sunday, March 16th, 2014

Are Moods & Emotions 'Contagious' on Facebook?Some news outlets are blaring that a new study recently published demonstrates moods are “contagious” on online social networks, like Facebook. Parroting the tone and talking points from the news release on the study, it appears nobody bothered to read the actual study before doing their reporting on it.

However, it doesn’t take an empirical study to understand that our moods impact one another. If you’re depressed and you live with your family, your depressed mood is going to affect your family. If you’re manic and hang out with your friends, chances are some of that manic energy is going to rub off on them.

We would expect that same thing to occur online, wouldn’t we?

How to Make Your Life Happier Through Social Media

Saturday, March 15th, 2014

How to Make Your Life Happier Through Social MediaLike many things, social media can be used for good or evil. It’s not inherently bad, but there are many side effects from overuse that hurt us.

However, we can not only learn to avoid them — we can even use social media to make us happier!

Social media is a powerful procrastination tool, but many studies have shown that it can be bad for your overall well-being. A direct link has been made between too much time spent on Facebook and depression; it may even cause physical problems for those who struggle with their weight.

The Surprising Psychological Value of Human Touch

Monday, March 10th, 2014

The Surprising Psychological Value of Human TouchWhenever I’m overwhelmed or feeling down, I tend to crave touch. A hug, a hand to hold; a connection that can manifest into something that’s tangible. And even on stress-free days, I may seek out the healing components that touch has to offer.

Is the act of human touch an innate need, ingrained within? Not necessarily (in my opinion), but on a superficial level, it very well could be. Research demonstrates that touch contains several health benefits for our physiological and psychological well being.

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