Habits Articles

Dealing with Rejection

Monday, December 1st, 2014

Dealing with RejectionIt’s been kind of a hard week. I’ve been sending out queries to literary agents for a new book I’m putting together and it’s been crazy. I sent 140 queries out over the last week and so far the only ones I’ve heard back from have written to tell me they weren’t interested.

In hindsight I’d advise not being so feverish about something career-oriented because on about the 20th or so rejection I just felt this sick, sinking feeling in my gut.

7 Ways for Those with Dysthymia to Get the Day off to a Good Start

Saturday, November 29th, 2014

7 Ways for Those with Dysthymia to Get the Day off to a Good StartI’m a deep thinker, a creative type — and a dysthymic. As in: a person with dysthymia, officially known as Persistent Depressive Disorder, characterized by feeling “down” on a regular basis without reaching the level of near-total impairment associated with major depressive disorder.

The sense of depression is at its worst when I have little immediate “busyness” to occupy my mind.

Often the hardest part of the day is starting it: that is, getting out of bed in the morning. If you have a similar problem, the following strategies help:

Expecting to Be Happy Makes You Happier

Saturday, November 29th, 2014

Expecting to Be Happy Makes You HappierHow happy do you expect to be?

The answer to that question could have a major influence on how happy you feel.

A team of scientists led by Robb Rutledge from the Wellcome Trust Centre for Neuroimaging, University College London, found that our in-the-moment happiness levels are influenced by activities, events, and outcomes.

But our expectations for those events contribute to our happiness before they even occur. For example, simply booking the exotic vacation you’ve been looking forward will leave you feeling happy long before you ever wind up on the tropical island.

Psychology Around the Net: November 29, 2014

Saturday, November 29th, 2014

Shoe shopping

This week’s Psychology Around the Net covers ways to keep your sanity during seasonal shopping, learning how to motivate yourself by pretending your life is a movie (wow!), and even tips on how to read and interpret others’ facial expressions…and act accordingly.

Enjoy!

Black Friday Prep: Crowd Psychology Can Help You Hang Onto Budget: Yes, we realize Black Friday is over, but you can still keep your sanity this shopping season! Check out these seasonal shopping tips on avoiding spending hype, including setting goals and making lists; choosing the right shopping buddy; and the negative social influence you can avoid by shopping online.

Women in Positions of Power Show More Signs of Depression Than Men: Recent research from the University of Texas at Austin suggests women climbing the work success ladder show more signs of depression than do their male counterparts.

Avoid These 5 Traps that Can Destroy Your Good Habits

Thursday, November 27th, 2014

mousetrapAvoid these five habit traps — they can destroy your good habits.

When we’re trying to master our habits, it’s important to be aware of the justifications or arguments that we sometimes invoke that interfere with keeping a good habit.

They slip in so easily and quickly, it can be hard to spot them.

How to Cope with Pain from the Past

Wednesday, November 26th, 2014

How to Cope with Pain from the PastOne of my favorite quotes, referenced in a piece on Tiny Buddha, states:

“If you get lost in a trigger that thrusts you to a painful event, take a deep breath and remember: we can’t change that we’ve been hurt before, but we can choose not to suffer now.”

That sentiment — that we can’t change the past, but we can choose not to suffer now — struck a chord. I’ve been through many emotional downs in previous relationships (especially one significant romantic relationship) and therefore hope to embody this approach. The past can be a cautionary tale, a reminder that we’ve endured pain, but we made it to the other side and learned from the experience.

Your Inner Voice: Friend or Foe?

Wednesday, November 26th, 2014

Your Inner Voice: Friend or Foe?Who is the person you speak to most frequently?

Why, it’s yourself, of course.

And what is the nature of those conversations? Do you tend to be harsh, nasty and punitive about who you are and what you’ve done (or haven’t done?) Do you frequently expect too much of yourself? Are you your own worst enemy? Does your self-judgment pierce your heart, deflate your energy?

If so, it’s time to take two paths to change your inner voice from foe to friend.

How to Navigate Anger When You’re Used to Stuffing it Down

Wednesday, November 26th, 2014

How to Navigate Anger When You’re Used to Stuffing it DownMany of us are afraid of our anger, so we shove it down. We may worry that if we express it, we’ll do damage to ourselves or others, said Selena C. Snow, Ph.D, a clinical psychologist who specializes in anger management in Rockville, Md.

We may say or do things at home or at work that we regret or will trigger negative consequences, she said.

Society also plays a role in shaping our fear or mistrust of anger.

Do You Want to Be Depressed?

Wednesday, November 26th, 2014

running“Do you WANT to get better?” a family member asked me a few weeks after I graduated from the psych ward in 2005.

I was furious and hurt.

Because it was just one of many insensitive comments that seem to imply that I was causing my illness.

How to Build a New Habit — And Make it Stick

Tuesday, November 25th, 2014

How to Build a New Habit and Make it StickAre you a master of a skill?

Perhaps you’re fluent in a language. A world-class pianist. A master craftsman in carpentry.

If you are, it’s not necessarily a result of your income, personal circumstances, upbringing, or any other variable. It’s a result of something a lot more powerful, something you have complete control over. It’s a result of habit.

7 Genuine Ways to Practice Gratitude

Monday, November 24th, 2014

7 Genuine Ways to Practice Gratitude Some people avoid practicing gratitude because doing so feels fake. But this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, according to Susan Orenstein, Ph.D, a licensed psychologist and relationship expert in Cary, N.C.

That’s because any time we try something new, it’s going to feel awkward and unnatural, she said. In fact, such reactions can be good, because it means you’re noticing and paying attention, she said. “If you can lean into the experience, you’ll be more likely to let go of your self-consciousness and take in the experience.”

Activities for Couples to Get Closer

Sunday, November 23rd, 2014

Activities for Couples to Get CloserIt’s normal to feel disconnected from your partner from time to time. It happens to the healthiest of couples.

We are all busy. We all have things that should’ve been done yesterday. We may be parents, which adds an extra layer of hectic. We may have demanding jobs or several jobs. We may have completely different schedules from our partners.

So we asked two relationship experts to share several activities couples can do to reconnect and get closer.

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