Habits Articles

A Technique for Feeling Painful Feelings

Thursday, June 12th, 2014

A Technique for Feeling Painful FeelingsMany of us avoid feeling our feelings because we worry that feeling them will be more painful than just pretending they don’t exist. Or we assume they’ll simply skulk away (and stay away permanently).

However, according to therapist and author Tina Gilbertson, LPC, in her book Constructive Wallowing: How to Beat Bad Feelings By Letting Yourself Have Them, “You let feelings ‘go’ by feeling them fully. Once they’re felt, they can leave.”

Just Sitting There Doing Squat?

Monday, June 9th, 2014

Just Sitting There Doing Squat?Will Rogers, born in 1879, was a Cherokee Indian, a cowboy noted for his roping skills, a movie star, a columnist and, today, a legend. He was one smart guy but no boring intellectual.

He spoke in simple words that everyone could understand: “Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”

Are you sitting on the right track watching your dreams fade into obscurity? Or, could it be that you’re doing nothing because you know you’re on the wrong track? Think about which one it is.

Chronically Late? 8 Reasons for Being Late & How to Beat Them

Saturday, June 7th, 2014

white-rabbit-closeupMany people have the habit of constantly running late — and they drive themselves, and other people, crazy.

I have the opposite problem — I’m pathologically early, and often arrive places too soon. (This can be just as annoying, but in a different way. As I write this, I’m realize that I assume that chronic earliness is very rare. But maybe it’s not. Are you chronically early?)

In any event, more people seem bothered by chronic lateness. Feeling as though you’re always running twenty minutes behind schedule is an unhappy feeling. Having to rush, forgetting things in your haste, dealing with annoyed people when you arrive… it’s no fun.

If you find yourself chronically late, what steps can you take to be more prompt?

Additional Questions to Spark Self-Discovery

Saturday, May 31st, 2014

Additional Questions to Spark Self-DiscoveryLast month we explored various questions to help you get to know yourself better. Self-discovery is powerful.

“[It] is at the core of living a joyful, fully self-expressed life,” said Mara Glatzel, MSW, an intuitive life and business coach who helps women create lives brimming with ease, self-care and permission.

“It is impossible to cultivate a daily life that makes you feel really good if you don’t even (really) know who you are — or what you like.” She likened it to creating the perfect date for a total stranger.

Thinking About How to Think

Thursday, May 29th, 2014

Observe, Accept, but Don't FollowHave you ever taken a course on how to manage your mind? Have you ever read a book on how to think? I doubt it.

Most of us believe we’ve learned how to think by going to school and learning about the world. But most schooling teaches you only one way of thinking: figuring out the right answer. Once you’ve done that, many believe that there’s no need to reflect on the ideas you have or the beliefs you maintain.

5 Ways to Strengthen Your Connection to Yourself

Tuesday, May 27th, 2014

5 Ways to Strengthen Your Connection to YourselfTo feel more connected to others it’s important that we first connect to ourselves.

“[W]e need to be grounded in who we are before we can have healthy relationships with others,” said Jennifer Kogan, LICSW, a psychotherapist who provides individual and couples counseling in Washington, D.C.

When we connect to ourselves we’re also able to create lives that are meaningful and fulfilling.

10 Small Ways to Cultivate Mindful Moments

Sunday, May 25th, 2014

10 Small Ways to Cultivate Mindful Moments	Sometimes, we move about our days as though we are asleep or at the mercy of someone else’s duties and dreams. In her book Head to Heart: Mindfulness Moments for Every Day , author and coach Jenifer Madson invites readers to awaken to our lives.

Specifically, she shares 365 meditations on purpose, presence and compassion. Here are 10 ways to cultivate mindful moments from her book.

3 Tips for Dealing with Anxious Thoughts

Wednesday, May 21st, 2014

3 Tips for Dealing with Anxious Thoughts Negative, worry-filled thoughts perpetuate our anxiety. They also paralyze us from taking action and can prevent us from leading a fulfilling life.

Sometimes, we mistakenly assume worry helps us circumvent potential catastrophes: If we aren’t worried, something terrible will happen.

But as licensed psychologist and anxiety expert Tamar E. Chansky, Ph.D, writes in her book Freeing Yourself From Anxiety: 4 Simple Steps to Overcome Worry and Create The Life You Want, “When did you last say, ‘Thank goodness I wasted, I mean, spent the last three hours freaking out about that job interview. The worry was so helpful and I feel much better now’?”

Suggestions for Quieting Your Inner Critic

Thursday, May 15th, 2014

New Workplace Values Women Leaders According to Jodie Gale, MA, a psychotherapist and life coach in Sydney, Australia, all of us have an inner critic. “Living with a strong inner critic can be life debilitating; it stops us from achieving growth and from living life to our full potential.”

Where does this critic come from?

When Depression Becomes Depressing

Wednesday, May 14th, 2014

When Depression Becomes Depressing “I am larger and better than I thought.” ~ Walt Whitman

In the movie “All Is Lost” with Robert Redford, the vast expanse of the never-ending sea could serve as a metaphor for stretches of life when there seems to be nothing on the horizon but more depression and inevitable despair. The increasingly futility of his efforts to survive also can be compared to treating depression as a losing battle, considering the over 120 million sufferers worldwide and counting.

In his latest book, Out of the Blue, Bill O’Hanlon makes a valuable contribution to turning that tide. In his opening dedication he writes, “Let me reassure your soul that there is a way out.”

On Rejecting the False Promise, 25 Years Later

Wednesday, May 14th, 2014

imagesI used to think once you put down the drink you were fixed, that once you conjured up the courage to quit your addiction the hard work was over. But addicts are never really cured.

Like cancer survivors, they simply stay in remission for the duration of their lives. There is always a person, place, or thing in their horizon promising them the way to the land of unicorns and fairies, a detour from the painful stuff of life.

6 Strategies That Surprisingly Don’t Shrink Stress

Wednesday, May 14th, 2014

6 Strategies That Surprisingly Don’t Shrink StressWhen we’re upset or overwhelmed, we may inadvertently turn to activities or habits that can spike our stress, not soothe it.

Below, two experts reveal what doesn’t reduce stress and why — and what really does.

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