Habits Articles

Avoid These 5 Traps that Can Destroy Your Good Habits

Thursday, November 27th, 2014

mousetrapAvoid these five habit traps — they can destroy your good habits.

When we’re trying to master our habits, it’s important to be aware of the justifications or arguments that we sometimes invoke that interfere with keeping a good habit.

They slip in so easily and quickly, it can be hard to spot them.

How to Cope with Pain from the Past

Wednesday, November 26th, 2014

How to Cope with Pain from the PastOne of my favorite quotes, referenced in a piece on Tiny Buddha, states:

“If you get lost in a trigger that thrusts you to a painful event, take a deep breath and remember: we can’t change that we’ve been hurt before, but we can choose not to suffer now.”

That sentiment — that we can’t change the past, but we can choose not to suffer now — struck a chord. I’ve been through many emotional downs in previous relationships (especially one significant romantic relationship) and therefore hope to embody this approach. The past can be a cautionary tale, a reminder that we’ve endured pain, but we made it to the other side and learned from the experience.

Your Inner Voice: Friend or Foe?

Wednesday, November 26th, 2014

Your Inner Voice: Friend or Foe?Who is the person you speak to most frequently?

Why, it’s yourself, of course.

And what is the nature of those conversations? Do you tend to be harsh, nasty and punitive about who you are and what you’ve done (or haven’t done?) Do you frequently expect too much of yourself? Are you your own worst enemy? Does your self-judgment pierce your heart, deflate your energy?

If so, it’s time to take two paths to change your inner voice from foe to friend.

How to Navigate Anger When You’re Used to Stuffing it Down

Wednesday, November 26th, 2014

How to Navigate Anger When You’re Used to Stuffing it DownMany of us are afraid of our anger, so we shove it down. We may worry that if we express it, we’ll do damage to ourselves or others, said Selena C. Snow, Ph.D, a clinical psychologist who specializes in anger management in Rockville, Md.

We may say or do things at home or at work that we regret or will trigger negative consequences, she said.

Society also plays a role in shaping our fear or mistrust of anger.

Do You Want to Be Depressed?

Wednesday, November 26th, 2014

running“Do you WANT to get better?” a family member asked me a few weeks after I graduated from the psych ward in 2005.

I was furious and hurt.

Because it was just one of many insensitive comments that seem to imply that I was causing my illness.

How to Build a New Habit — And Make it Stick

Tuesday, November 25th, 2014

How to Build a New Habit and Make it StickAre you a master of a skill?

Perhaps you’re fluent in a language. A world-class pianist. A master craftsman in carpentry.

If you are, it’s not necessarily a result of your income, personal circumstances, upbringing, or any other variable. It’s a result of something a lot more powerful, something you have complete control over. It’s a result of habit.

7 Genuine Ways to Practice Gratitude

Monday, November 24th, 2014

7 Genuine Ways to Practice Gratitude Some people avoid practicing gratitude because doing so feels fake. But this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, according to Susan Orenstein, Ph.D, a licensed psychologist and relationship expert in Cary, N.C.

That’s because any time we try something new, it’s going to feel awkward and unnatural, she said. In fact, such reactions can be good, because it means you’re noticing and paying attention, she said. “If you can lean into the experience, you’ll be more likely to let go of your self-consciousness and take in the experience.”

Activities for Couples to Get Closer

Sunday, November 23rd, 2014

Activities for Couples to Get CloserIt’s normal to feel disconnected from your partner from time to time. It happens to the healthiest of couples.

We are all busy. We all have things that should’ve been done yesterday. We may be parents, which adds an extra layer of hectic. We may have demanding jobs or several jobs. We may have completely different schedules from our partners.

So we asked two relationship experts to share several activities couples can do to reconnect and get closer.

Psychology Around the Net: November 22, 2014

Saturday, November 22nd, 2014

Young Woman Sleeping With Eyeshades..

This week’s Psychology Around the Net is jampacked with everything (OK, some things!) you need to know about sleep habits, disclosing mental illness in the workplace, trying to achieve happiness, and more.

There’s More to Sleep Cycles Than Being a Morning or Night Person: “In a small study being published in Personality and Individual Difference, research from the Siberian Branch of the Russian Academy of Sciences found that in addition to the traditional night owl or lark, people tend to have different energetic times of the day that might counter their sleep patterns.”

What Habits Are Best for Creativity?

Friday, November 21st, 2014

What Habits Are Best for Creativity?When I tell people that I’ve been working on Better Than Before, my book about habit change, many people ask, “What habits are best for creativity? What habits help people think creatively — and also, actually produce?“

Often, people make the case for adopting a particular habit by pointing to a renowned figure who practiced that habit, with great success.

30 More Journaling Prompts for Self-Reflection and Self-Discovery

Friday, November 21st, 2014

30 More Journaling Prompts for Self-Reflection and Self-Discovery	In September I shared 30 prompts, questions and ideas to help you get to know yourself better.

This month I’m sharing 30 more.

When we get to know ourselves better, we know what we need. That means we can respond to those needs and make better, kinder decisions.

Raised to Be a Pleaser

Wednesday, November 19th, 2014

Raised to be a PleaserDo you have a strong need for approval from others? Do you have difficulty saying no, yet often feel resentful about what you agreed to do? Do you get overly involved with people’s problems, postponing attention to your own?

Try to please everyone and it’s likely you’re operating on overload.

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