Anxiety and Panic

Networking for Introverts: 4 Secrets to Meet New People

Networking can be, at times, awkward and even produce anxiety. The thought of reaching out to people you don’t know to build potential business relationships can seem daunting. How do those “super connector” social butterflies carry themselves with such confidence while others stammer and stutter?

As it turns out, there’s a psychology to relationship building that will not only help you feel more secure when meeting new people, but will also transform your stack of business cards into meaningful connections that may advance your career.
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Books

A Great Way to Cultivate Gratitude

We know that being grateful is important. It boosts our energy and well-being. It helps us to cope with stress. Simply, it brightens our mood and helps us feel good. But sometimes we forget to give thanks. Sometimes, we give thanks only on certain days (such as holidays) and not on others (the days we’re exhausted, overwhelmed, burnt out). Sometimes, we count a few blessings to ourselves but quickly move on to something else.

In his book Gratitude Works! A 21-Day Program for Creating Emotional Prosperity author and psychology professor Robert A. Emmons, Ph.D, includes practices for cultivating, or growing, our gratitude. Because as he writes, “Through practice, giving thanks grows from the ground of one’s being. Grateful feelings, once buried, can surface if we take the time to notice and reflect… Gratitude is like fertilizer to the mind, spreading connections and improving its function in nearly every realm of experience.”
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General

8 Effective Ways to Keep Your Partner Interested

Being in a relationship involves time, commitment, patience, a willingness to forgive, an openness and vulnerability, and giving without expectation of anything in return. This sounds like a lot of work and it is, but the potential rewards are well worth the effort. Yet even as you work at your relationship, you also need to endeavor to keep it fresh. Here are eight tips for doing so:

Make an effort to be present.
You might think that being in the same room with your partner is enough to be present. But that doesn’t hold true in a society where it’s easier to text than communicate even when two people are in the same room. Everyone’s buried in their electronic devices. Put the devices on mute. Your physical presence is one way to keep your partner interested, but there’s more at stake than simply occupying space.

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Friends

The One Word that Can Kill a Friendship

There’s this word you use all the time. It’s a seemingly harmless word -- it’s close to meaningless, really -- but it’s slowly, subversively tainting your relationships. Look back over any recent texts and emails you’ve sent to friends. If they look something like this, you’re caught on this word’s lure.

“I’d love to hang out! But I’m really busy.”

“Sorry I didn’t get back to you earlier! I’ve been so busy.”

“What’s going on with me? Just busy as usual!”
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General

Don’t Fall for the Common Myth that Stops People from Changing Habits

People often ask me, “Why do we struggle so hard to change our habits? Why do we fail so often?”

There are a variety of reasons, but there’s one big one -- a popular myth about habits that leads people astray. It makes them accuse themselves of being lazy, self-indulgent, and lacking in will-power. It causes them to fail.

What is this myth? It’s the myth that there’s a magic, one-size-fits-all solution for habit change.
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General

3 Myths about Healthy Marriages that Most People Think Are True

There are many myths about what a healthy marriage looks and feels like. When we start seeing these myths as facts, we get into problematic territory. Many myths create unrealistic standards, which when we bring into our homes and apply to our relationship can hinder them. For instance, if you think you should only attend therapy when your problems are dire, you might be waiting way too long.

Below, Lena Aburdene Derhally, MS, LPC, a psychotherapist and relationship expert, shared three myths and the associated facts, along with several practical tips.
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General

Sleep & Enter Sandman: More Than Just a Song

“You need to improve your sleep hygiene?” my counselor admonished me in her straightforward tone.

“Sure, I probably need to floss more frequently. But I brush my teeth a couple of times a day and always -- always -- before bed,” I cheekily responded.

She was too diplomatic to say what she was truly thinking. I knew.

She furrowed her brow and continued. “Matt, you need to sleep. You can’t function on your current schedule.”
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Bullying

Mindfulness and the Subtle Art of Letting Go

This is kind of embarrassing, but I'll tell you anyway: I used to be a chubby kid and I hated when adults called me fat.

To make it even worse, I had moderately long hair, so people often would mistake me for a girl. Nothing wrong with being a girl, but my child self just couldn't handle other people's realities.

Looking back now, I seriously don't remember any adults who called me fat. I know they did...
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Brain and Behavior

Living in a Bigger Story

Out beyond the shadows of our old thinking, a wholly different world appears. A world that delights in our explorations, our need to join with others. A world that welcomes and supports our endeavors. The world knows how to change and grow. ~ Margaret J. Wheatley & Myron Kellner-Rogers, A Simpler Way
We love epic stories, those invoking the heroic journey. We resonate and identify with larger-than-life characters, not simply because we are fascinated with their exploits, but because we are drawn to the archetypal qualities they represent. And that allows us to tap into the inner resources we can discover in our own inner treasure chest:
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General

How to Recover from Failure

You create a presentation that does not go well. You launch a product that only 10 people buy. Your relationship is over. You don’t get the promotion or new job you really wanted. You get fired. You do something else, and feel like you’ve fallen flat on your face.

Understandably, you’re devastated. After all, you failed.

But failure doesn’t have to be a demoralizing letdown, a crushing catastrophe or a window into some bleak future. Because failure is what we make of it.
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College

Stress Management Tips for Students

Students are one of the most common victims of stress. Factors such as financial expenses, overcommitment, family expectations, deadlines and workload all induce stress in students. While a mild amount of stress is very useful and acts as a motivation for students, too much stress can interfere with their daily lives.

When built over time, stress can give rise to a host of serious problems such as depression and anxiety. Managing stress in its early stages can help maximize the college/university experience and opportunities for students.

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General

7 Tips to Help Someone Else Change a Habit

In my book Better Than Before, I write about the many strategies that we can use to make or break our habits. There’s a big menu of choices, which is great, because it means that we all have a variety from which to pull. Some strategies work for some people, but not others. Some strategies are available to us at certain times, but not other times.

In the book, I focus mostly on what we can do, ourselves, to change our habits. But it’s very obvious that each of us can have a lot of influence on other people’s habits.  And often we really, really, really want to help someone else to change a key habit.
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