Anxiety and Panic

Psychology Around the Net: March 19, 2016


Happy Saturday, sweet readers!

I hope you've had a fantastic week -- better than mine, anyway. We're having a new roof installed and, well, when you work from home, let's just say it's a bit difficult to concentrate with all the banging, hammering, and stomping. (However, the contractors at least chose some of my favorite classic rock hits to blast, so, there's that!).

Despite all the distractions, I managed to scour the Internet for some fascinating information on new research and reports regarding the happiest countries on the planet, the lesser-known postpartum bipolar disorder, the five different personality types, and more.

Enjoy!

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Anger

Daddy Dearest: When the Father-Son Bond Just Isn’t There

Golfing buddies, hiking pals, math tutor, and your hero-in-chief. Or not.

I grew up with an emotionally distant father. His parenting style: disinterested with a minor in disdain. There was an aloofness, even coldness.

I vowed to be different than Dad. And I am. But then, innocuously enough, I mutter one of his pithy sayings. Those thoughts, sensations, feelings overflow. I stew, ruminating on the frayed relationship.

Entering adulthood, my father’s detachment gnaws. The demeaning comments rankle; the coolness stings. When Mom (RIP) was alive, her warmth compensated for Dad’s standoffishness.
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Disorders

Is Your Diagnosis a Deal-breaker? How to Survive an Adoption Home Study

Adopting our son, Tommy, from Guatemala in 2005 was one of the most difficult, time-consuming, detail-oriented things I’ve ever done. The powers-that-be purposely make adoption hard for couples so that people won’t abuse the system and/or the children in the system.

Adoption is a multi-part process. When a couple wants to adopt a child, they must complete a mountain of paperwork, get recommendations, submit to background checks and participate in what’s known as...
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Family

The #1 Way You Antagonize Your Partner

When you’re in a relationship, you’re always trying to neutralize conflict. You’re always working to calm emotional flare-ups and meet eye-to-eye. You likely have the best of intentions -- you just want to quell fights before they do real damage to the relationship. Unfortunately, one of the ways in which you’re attempting to reduce conflict is likely backfiring.

What’s the one way you try to pacify your partner that’s actually making him or her angrier? It’s telling them to “get over it” and “move on.” 
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Anxiety and Panic

Raising a Child with Anxiety: One Parent’s Story


My kid wasn't only having tantrums, he was also having panic attacks.

Imagine your child had the inability to focus and sit still with ADHD, the resistance to instruction and discipline of Oppositional Defiant Disorder, the need for routine and order and ritual of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and the normal tantrums, developmental struggles and poor impulse control of a typical five-year-old. Oh, plus aggression. A lot of aggression. That's my kid.

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Children and Teens

When Being the “Bad Guy” Is a Good Thing

Sometimes the best approach for a parent is to give children choices. For toddlers and elementary school children, negotiating an end to an activity by offering “We can leave the playground in five minutes or ten minutes. Which do you want?” gives a child a sense of control and may be a clever way to avert a tantrum. As children approach the pre-teen and teenage years, however, some choices can be unnecessary burdens adding needless psychological stress.

A young adult, whom I’ll call Robert, shared with me his story. Robert’s father gave him choices that Robert felt were bad for him. The example he gave was around visiting his grandparents. In an effort to be diplomatic his father would say, “We’d like you to come to Grandpa and Grandma’s for dinner with us, but ultimately the choice is yours.”
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Anxiety and Panic

How Postpartum Depression is Different from Baby Blues

Today, even though we’ve made much progress, postpartum depression (PPD) still gets confused with baby blues. It still gets minimized and dismissed.

Oh, don’t worry. Being sad and sobbing are totally normal. So is feeling frustrated. You just gave birth, after all. You just need some sleep. A day off. A change in attitude. Maybe you should stop putting so much pressure on yourself. Maybe you’re not used to being home so much. You need time to adjust. You need to get used to your new normal. That’s all.

Maybe someone told you these words -- with kind and good intentions. Or maybe you’ve said these words to yourself. Either way, there’s a lot of misinformation about PPD and how it manifests. For starters, PPD is different from baby blues.
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Family

Loneliness Has an Antidote and You’ll Never Guess What It Is

I’m somebody who’s struggled with feelings of loneliness my whole life. It’s a big part of why I decided to become a relationship coach. I wanted to understand why some of my relationships felt more substantial than others. I wanted to understand why sometimes I relished being alone, yet other times being alone evoked feelings of profound sadness.

The question I wanted to answer was this: What makes some relationships feel better than others? It was a mystery I was determined to solve.
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Family

There Is Such a Thing as Being Too Supportive

We cripple people who are capable of walking because we choose to carry them. -- Christie Williams
Years ago, I had a dear friend who needed a lot of support for various reasons. She was working hard to find her way out of a dark period. She had suffered traumas and tragedies -- things I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

Her life really did resemble a roller coaster ride. It was heartbreaking to watch her struggle, exciting when things would be on the upswing and upsetting again when things would spiral downhill.
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Family

Responsibility Is a Blessing, Not a Curse

"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves." -- William Shakespeare

We all know someone who chronically avoids responsibility. Things just happen to them -- nothing they did contributed to their circumstances. They were late because there was traffic, not because they didn’t leave earlier. They didn’t drop the ball at work; nobody else stepped up either. Someone “just stopped talking” to them; it has nothing to do with them being a bad friend.

These people have an
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Books

3 Reasons Not to Date Online Just Because You’re Lonely

It’s late in the evening. All your emails are read and the good TV is over for the night. You’re feeling a little bit… lonely. Unsure what to do, you open that dating app and start to swipe. You bring your laptop out of hibernation and start to scroll. You see faces of potential partners wiz by and for a moment, it helps.

Your smile returns.

We’ve all been in this moment -- the moment when a twinge of loneliness spurs an online dating session. But is this really a good habit to get into when feeling lonely?
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Books

10 Books on Happiness & Success for Your Reading List

Being an entrepreneur is stressful work. You pour blood, sweat, and tears into making your business work. Even though it can test you down to your last nerve, there’s nothing more rewarding than starting your own company.

While it can be challenging to successfully balance your workload plus family, friends, fitness and some personal time, there are few things that rings true for most successful entrepreneurs. It’s their unwavering commitment to continuous self-improvement in all areas of their life from their business prowess to their personal relationships.
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