Family Articles

Early Signs of Love Addiction

Sunday, November 2nd, 2014

Early Signs of Love AddictionAs I strengthen my relationship with my wounded child, I realize that my childhood showed signs of a developing love addiction. There were aspects of my home life that primed me for neediness and a tendency to define my value in the eyes of others. Deprivation played a key role. Here are some of the things I recall:

My mother was a perfectionist. She was ruthless in her oversight of our household chores. I remember one event from when I was a young adult. My mother had made a big issue about no one helping her. So I stepped in to help.

Can a Better Romantic Relationship Lead to Better Parenting?

Wednesday, October 29th, 2014

Happy Family

Do you believe your partner should come before your kids?

I read this quote recently:

“The best thing a society can do for itself is to promote and support healthy couples, and the best thing partners can do for themselves, for their children, and for society is to have a healthy relationship.”

- Harville Hendrix, author of Getting the Love You Want

Seriously? The “best” thing we can do for our kids is to have a good relationship with our partners? That’s fine in theory, but what if our relationship is just okay, or good sometimes with long periods of mediocrity, or mostly bad with occasional moments of happiness? What then?

Mindful Self-Compassion and Parenting

Wednesday, October 29th, 2014

right-way-feed-babySelf-compassion has three components:

1. The kindness we would show a friend is directed toward ourselves.

2. A recognition that pain and suffering is part of life — it’s something every human being goes through.

3. Mindfulness.

Here are the benefits I have gained from self-compassion:

6 Ways to Convince an Addict to Get Help

Sunday, October 26th, 2014

addiction-300x212Many people who struggle with alcohol or drugs have a difficult time getting better. There are many reasons why these people do not get the help they need.

Here are six suggestions on how to convince a person dealing with substance abuse to get help.

6 Ways to Survive Your Teen’s Eating Disorder

Saturday, October 25th, 2014

6 Ways to Survive Your Teen's Eating DisorderIf you have a teen who is struggling with an eating disorder, you know it can be overwhelming, frustrating, lonely, scary, and sometimes feel like a full-time job. Your teen may be reacting angrily one day and the next day melt on the floor in tears.

Eating disorders can disrupt family and work life, create stress in relationships and be a financial hardship. Here are some tips to weather the storm:

5 More Ways to Cultivate Your Child’s Creativity

Wednesday, October 22nd, 2014

5 More Ways to Cultivate Your Child’s CreativityLast month I interviewed Tom Sturges, a music executive and mentor, about his tips for cultivating creativity in kids. This month I wanted to share some great tips from Julia Cameron’s book The Artist’s Way for Parents: Raising Creative Children.

If you’re unfamiliar with Cameron, she penned a bestselling book on the creative process called The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path To Higher Creativity. She’s also a novelist, playwright, songwriter and poet.

The Benefits of Being Scared

Monday, October 20th, 2014

The Benefits of Being ScaredBeing scared isn’t always a negative. You can be scared in many different ways.

There is the “scary movie” kind of scared, where you don’t know what’s going to pop out on the screen. There’s the jumping out of a plane kind of scared, where you fear real death and your adrenaline is pumping loudly. Lastly, there is the taking a chance kind of scared, where you have to address someone or something that’s anxiety-producing and you don’t know if the outcome will be favorable.

Radical Self-Care for Moms

Monday, October 20th, 2014

Radical Self-Care for MomsAs a mom, when you hear that it’s important to take care of yourself, your eyes might glaze over and you may be thinking something like: “Another thing I need to add to my to-do list: ‘self-care.’ How am I supposed to do that?”

That’s the reaction Elizabeth Sullivan sometimes gets from her clients.

Blue Collar Roots vs. White Collar Reality

Saturday, October 18th, 2014

Blue Collar Roots vs. White Collar RealityMy father was a machinist and my mother a nurse. I still recall the smell of the machine shop on my father’s clothing when he came home from work, the name “Gary” embroidered on his blue shirt. When I was a child, my father chopped wood and sold it by the side of the road to help make ends meet for his family of 5.

Due to my education I am considered “white collar” but still have “blue collar” values. I identify and belong to both groups.

Important: Do Not Overfeed (Yourself or Others)

Wednesday, October 15th, 2014

Female_betta_closeupLast weekend, we had a lot of excitement. My nine-year-old daughter got a betta fish, which she named Esther.

When we were talking to the clerk about how to care for the fish, she told us, “Be sure not to overfeed your fish. Just two pellets.”

When we read the little instruction book that came with the bowl, it said, “Do not overfeed your fish.” On the bottle of fish food, it said, “DO NOT OVERFEED.” So it seems clear to me that people have a real tendency to overfeed their fish.

Which got me thinking — why is it so fun to feed animals, birds, people? Even when it’s not such a good idea.

Love Crimes: When the Abused Believe It’s for Their Own Good

Monday, October 13th, 2014

Love CrimesOne of the most nurturing, compassionate women I know is also an abused wife who once shared her biggest regret. Did she regret staying with her abusive husband? No. The most regretful day of her life was when she phoned the police after he physically assaulted her yet again.

“I ruined his life,” she said. “It’s the biggest mistake I ever made.” Immune to any reason, she pressed on, blaming herself for the “humiliation he had to endure” at anger management classes, the draining of her family’s resources on lawyer fees and the indelible black mark “she caused” on his otherwise spotless veneer.

Getting Your Needs Met

Wednesday, October 8th, 2014

Surefire Strategies That Don’t Work for ADHD – And Some That DoAre you a nice person? Are you considerate, thoughtful and sensitive to the needs of others? That’s admirable and praiseworthy!

So how come you’ve been feeling unappreciated lately? Your needs never seem to count. It’s not fair.

You take other people’s feelings into account. How come they run roughshod over yours?

Recent Comments
  • NotEasy: I had a similar experience to that described above (10years) and then took your approach (that s hubby...
  • Cathy B: hi, was searching for ways to fix myself when i am broken and i am very broken and read your post. the...
  • samphd87: People either ignore scientific evidence, or they believe everything they read. Especially the...
  • mary: I’ve tried to write this several times, so I think I’ll just say this….I was a child to this...
  • sonali: its very heartening to read the discussion above on plus n minuses of neurofeedback. i have a 10 yr old...
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