You suspect your teen is using drugs. Maybe they’re not acting like themselves. Maybe they’re cutting school or shirking other responsibilities. Maybe their grades are dropping. Or their behavior is worsening. Maybe they’ve started hanging out with a bad crowd.

Maybe they’re being secretive and have even stolen money from your wallet. Maybe their physical appearance has changed with rapid weight loss or red eyes. Maybe you’ve noticed a change in their sleep habits, energy level and mood. Maybe you’ve actually found marijuana or other drugs in their room.

Naturally, the thought and possible confirmation of your child using drugs trigger a rush and range of emotions: anger, frustration, disappointment, sadness, fear.

If you think your child is using drugs, how do you approach them? Where do you start?

People often talk about running away to another, better place to escape their problems. But they are reminded that the problems remain even if they clean up and do things right this time around.

I often have thought of getting a fresh start somehow. I got that opportunity, but in an unfortunate way.

A failed suicide attempt left me completely disabled, unable to work and with a severe hypoxic brain injury that affected many aspects of my life. I had to start from rock bottom and completely rebuild my entire life.

Before the suicide attempt, I had a great job, made great money, bought a new car and had lots of friends that I hung out with often. In retrospect, I had everything and I was proud of myself for working so hard and doing so well.

Behind the scenes, I had a bad drinking problem and was constantly self-medicating my anxiety and depression.

In October 2012, researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) set out to find if they could exercise complete control over habitual behaviors in mice.

By inhibiting a small region of the prefrontal cortex — region of the brain responsible for planning and thought — the scientists were able to break the mice’s habits, but, to their surprise, the mice immediately began forming new behavior patterns.

Until now, psychologists and behavioral therapists believed that habits were hidden in the illusive “subconscious.”

But the MIT study shows that the brain is not just aware of habits: it controls them completely, moment by moment. And no matter how long the habits have existed, we can now shut them off, as by the flip of a switch.

Ah, the holidays: Candy canes, cozy slippers, festive lights, family peace, marital joy, and grateful children.

Or not.

The holidays are stressful. There are the challenges of too much family, not enough family, not enough money, continual exposure to food and alcohol, and perhaps worst of all, the gap between our actual life and our fantasy life. As if gazing into the perfect happy scene within a snowglobe, we might fall into a trance of how our life should be.

We might feel torn apart by nostalgia and grief over the good times and good people of the past, and wracked with guilt and inadequacy for failing to create a more wonderful life for ourselves. We might feel scared about our dissatisfaction and hypnotized by the promise of fulfillment just beyond the hard glass.

Addictive and codependent behaviors thrive during this season of fantasy.

I remember when I was an active …

Just because someone doesn’t meet diagnostic criteria for substance abuse or dependence doesn’t mean drugs aren’t damaging their world.

There’s a space between normal behavior and an official diagnosis called “almost addicted” that has serious consequences, according to Dr. J. Wesley Boyd, MD, Ph.D, an assistant professor at Harvard Medical School and author of the book Almost Addicted: Is My (or My Loved One’s) Drug Use a Problem?

People who are almost addicted still struggle because of their drug use. They may have problems in their personal or professional lives. They also might meet criteria for drug abuse or dependence in the future — at which point it becomes tougher to treat. Intervening now can lead to healthy changes and prevent a full-blown crisis, said Dr. Boyd, also a staff psychiatrist at Cambridge Health Alliance.

Too many sweets can leave you wanting one thing:  more sweets.  Our food cravings, whether for salty, sweet or something else, when overindulged don’t result in satiety or satisfaction.  Instead they affect our bodies in the same way as alcohol or drugs, causing us to want more and more, while we experience less pleasure each time we give in.

Knowing that food cravings are much like other addictions can be disheartening and you might despair that you will not be able to make changes.

The good news is that there are several effective strategies to delay eating craved food and weaken your habitual response to food.

What’s your weakness?

Is it cupcakes, potato chips, bread, a big bowl of pasta, cheese fondue, fried chicken, pizza, ice cream or something else?

Do you crave something creamy that melts in your mouth or a salty crunch that takes the edge off?

If you do, you’re similar to 100% of women and 75% of men who reported food cravings in the last year, according to a report in the Wall Street Journal.

Cravings, once considered the body’s way of signaling that we’re missing important nutrients, are now understood to be something quite different.  If they were merely a signal that we were short on, say, magnesium (a nutrient found in chocolate), then why do we tend to crave salty and sweet snacks, rather than healthier options of nutrient rich foods?

When you get sick or have a physical problem, do you head to the doctor?  A medical doctor is typically a good first step when we’re faced with health related problems.  But it’s all too easy to stop at that step.

Often, we view our mental health, physical health and lifestyle as existing on separate planes – and there’s good reason for that.  How we care for our mental and physical health, and who we go to for help, differs. Lifestyle can often be an afterthought or seen as unrelated to our health in any substantial way.

But, when we take a closer look, our physical health is tied to all aspects of our life.

There’s so much focus on food these days. What should you, or shouldn’t you eat? How do you avoid gaining weight or developing serious medical problems, such as heart disease and diabetes? Should you emphasize foods high in protein or fiber? How much sugar, fat and carbs can you safely consume?

Digestive problems, including bloating and irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), are an increasing concern.

Have you ever noticed that you’ve just eaten something and can hardly remember what it tasted like? Kind of like eating on autopilot? Our busy and stressful modern-day lifestyles may have to do with this. Our minds are so busy planning our next move that we don’t allow time to savour the food we eat, or allow time for it to digest.

“The physical and emotional health of an entire generation and the economic health and security of our nation is at stake.” 
~ First Lady Michelle Obama at the Let’s Move! launch on February 9, 2010

Frank Bruni was a fat kid.  He was also the New York Times food critic from 2004-2009 and the best-selling author of Born Round: The Secret History of a Full-Time Eater.  In his deeply moving memoir, he explains the problems and perils of being fat and the emotional struggle food caused him as a child and an adult.  He said he wanted to write his memoir to show  “what food could do to trip people up.”

Apparently food can do a lot to trip you up.  Being obese can have a devastating impact on life. A child born in this century has a one in three chance of developing diabetes and an alarmingly high percentage will suffer obesity-related conditions such as cancer, asthma, high blood pressure and heart disease.  Those numbers go up dramatically in the Hispanic and African-American communities:  Right now 40 percent of these children are overweight or obese.

With these statistics, is it any wonder that Michelle Obama would introduce Let’s Move to combat childhood obesity?

Some of the strategies you’re using to reduce your anxiety might actually perpetuate and heighten it instead.

Kathryn Tristan, author of the forthcoming book Why Worry? Stop Coping and Start Living (available December 4, 2012), reveals three common tactics that can backfire.

Q: What are some anti-anxiety strategies that actually don’t work?

A: Often people use three common coping strategies that do more harm than good. In a nutshell, these are pills, booze, or avoidance.

Scientific studies suggest that 1 out of 2 people in the U.S. will suffer at some time in their life from anxiety, depression, or addiction. That means you, me, someone in our family, a friend, etc., is currently or will be dealing with one of more of these life-altering issues.

Why?