Are you paralyzed at the thought of public speaking? Shaky in meetings with your boss? Find yourself tongue-tied in social situations?

Fear can occur in any number of situations.  It can be both effective — for instance, when it compels us to run from a burning building — and a blockade that can keep us from living our lives fully.

In a recent article in GQ Magazine, behavioral neuroscientist Mona Lisa Shultz, PhD, describes illogical fear — involving that which does not threaten our lives or well-being — as a “corrupted file that you downloaded by accident that keeps coming up.”

When you’re feeling miserable, it’s the most natural thing in the world to want to wallow in your misery. Angry people do it by obsessing about what others have done to them. Sad people do it by summoning up their disappointments. Worried people do it by anguishing about the “what ifs” of life. Frustrated people do it by giving up their goals as soon as the going gets tough.

Though there is something to be said for feeling miserable from time to time (how else would you appreciate feeling great?), many people hold on to negative emotions for way too long.

They don’t just feel their emotions, they embrace them, defend them, indulge them — until these feelings morph into an identity.

The upshot? They no longer just feel angry, sad, worried or frustrated. They become people with a chip on their shoulder, despair in their heart, fear in their soul, and failure on their mind.

After something stressful has occurred it would be nice if we could leave it behind and move on with our lives.  Sometimes we can.  For example, you might narrowly miss getting sideswiped by another car, feel stressed in the moment, and then shake it off and move on with your day.

But often after we’ve encountered a stressful event, say, an argument with a spouse or an important presentation at work, we continue to ruminate (have repetitive, often negative, thoughts).  These thoughts are not about active problem-solving; they are repeatedly chewing on and worrying over past events.

Why is it that sometimes we can let go of the things that stress us out and at other times, even after the event has passed and we know can’t change it or our response, we continue to be stuck thinking about it?

Overwhelm is a 20-foot wave crashing into you. Repeatedly. Psychologist Marla W. Deibler, PsyD, described overwhelm as “feeling completely overcome in mind or emotion.” When we think a stressor is too great for us to manage, we feel overwhelmed, she said.

Feeling overwhelmed has many faces. According to Deibler, overwhelm might manifest as an intense emotion, such as anxiety, anger or irritability; maladaptive thought process, such as worry, doubt or helplessness; and behavior, such as crying, lashing out or experiencing a panic attack.

Anxiety seems to be the most common, according to L. Kevin Chapman, Ph.D, a psychologist and associate professor in clinical psychology at the University of Louisville, where he studies and treats anxiety disorders. For instance, you might experience a fast heartbeat, sweating, tingling, chest pain or shortness of breath, he said.

What causes overwhelm?

No one wants to be told he or she has cancer.  The initial lack of control and feelings of helplessness are often traumatic experiences. The usual reactions are anger, depression and terror-laced anxiety.

While survival rates for many cancers have improved, there are quality of life issues following the diagnosis, including the emotional difficulty of coping with the anniversary date.  Survival rates are measured in 1-, 5- and 10-year markers.  This often creates an emotional conflict as the diagnosis date approaches.  Each year provides a measure both of success and trepidation.  Diagnosis day is when the war on cancer begins in your body.  It is sometimes shortened to military lingo for the day an attack or operation is launched: D-Day.

As with most traumas, people can tell you the vivid details of their diagnosis. They remember the time, what was said, what they did, and what they felt.  D-day is etched in their psyche, and as the anniversary date approaches, so does the anxiety.

But one woman, Jen Cunningham Butler, has done something different. In honor of breast cancer awareness month I wanted to tell you her story.

This guest article from YourTango was written by Shelley Skas.

As a parent, you want what’s best for your children. You want them to be smarter, better looking and more well-rounded than you are. You want them to be liked by their peers and to succeed in school. As such, you worry. And, with worrying comes anxiety which can turn into depression. Here are five ways to help you stop worrying so much:

1. Trust the facts.

When you look at the facts and evidence of what has actually been occurring, you’ll find that the worried feeling you have is irrational. Examine what’s actually occurring in your life and consider how you feel after that.

When you get sick or have a physical problem, do you head to the doctor?  A medical doctor is typically a good first step when we’re faced with health related problems.  But it’s all too easy to stop at that step.

Often, we view our mental health, physical health and lifestyle as existing on separate planes – and there’s good reason for that.  How we care for our mental and physical health, and who we go to for help, differs. Lifestyle can often be an afterthought or seen as unrelated to our health in any substantial way.

But, when we take a closer look, our physical health is tied to all aspects of our life.

When you get caught up in worrying, it can seem hard – or even impossible – to get out. One worry leads to another, and before you know it you’re tangled up in a web of worry thoughts.

But by using certain tools, you can quiet the mental chatter and calm your anxious mind.

Kathryn Tristan, author of the forthcoming book, Why Worry? Stop Coping and Start Living (available December 4, 2012), shares three strategies that can reduce worrying right now.

When you’re riddled with anxiety or worry, it can feel like you’re in the back seat of a careering car. Your anxiety and worry have hijacked the driver’s seat, feet slammed on the gas, while you’re confused and feeling out of control with no access to the brakes. It’s frustrating and demoralizing to feel like you’re being dragged around by angst and unease.

Fortunately, there are many effective techniques to help you return to the driver’s seat.

I had the pleasure of interviewing Kathryn Tristan, a researcher at the Washington University School of Medicine and author of the forthcoming book Why Worry? Stop Coping and Start Living (available December 4, 2012).

As her book title reveals, Tristan believes that we can stop coping with anxiety and worry and instead start living fulfilling lives. She discusses this in greater detail below.

Research scientist and author Kathryn Tristan was unable to fly or leave her hometown for over 20 years.

But after working from the inside out, as she puts it, Tristan was able to move past her overwhelming anxiety and panic. Through the use of specific techniques, she’s been able to quell them and lead a fulfilling life.

Below, Tristan, who’s also author of the forthcoming book Why Worry? Stop Coping and Start Living (available December 4, 2012), reveals the four strategies that have helped her overcome anxiety and worry.

I was reading the other day about the rise in the percentage of parents who opt-out of having their kids vaccinated. This was in California, so it may not apply to the entire country. But there is a disturbing uptick of parents — especially those who enroll their children in private schools — who don’t get their kids vaccinated.

Three times as many private versus public schools don’t make the grade. More than 15 percent of the private schools in California failed to reach a 90 percent immunization rate, compared with 5 percent in public schools. Ninety percent is what public health officials believe is the minimal rate needed in order to keep many of these childhood diseases at bay.

This rate has doubled in schools in California over the past decade, fueled largely by rumor and lies about vaccinations, their value to a society, and bad science that was trumped up over decades worth of previous research by respected institutions and researchers.

Why are some parents making decisions for their children based upon fear and bad science? Let’s find out.

What do you do when you’re stressed-out about losing your home, car, stocks, bonds, retirement savings, college funds, and everything else in the lyrics of a bad country song (Truck! Sorry forgot the truck)?

I don’t really know, to be completely honest. But here is an attempt to shed some light on some better ways to manage your financial stress and stop stressing so much about money.

1. Ignore Amy.

The amygdala, the almond shaped group of neurons in the limbic system of the brain, is considered by most neurobiologists our fear system, and it acts like an ape or a how a human would have acted, say, back when we still had lots of hair all over. The adrenaline that you are feeling when you see stock exchange plummet is the amydala getting crazy, hosting a party in your head, whatever. I call my amygdala “Amy.” And whenever I panic, I tell her to go take a nap, that I can’t tolerate her noise and ruckus right now.