Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) impacts a person’s ability to focus on work or a project in order to get things done. Instead, a person with ADHD’s attention is divided, resulting in many people feeling like they’re just spinning their wheels.

The other month we looked at unsuccessful strategies for adults with ADHD.

This month experts reveal fruitless tactics for kids with ADHD. Some of these approaches aren’t just ineffective; they can exacerbate symptoms or impede progress.

Whether you’re a parent, loved one or teacher of a child with ADHD, here’s what doesn’t work — and a few tips that do.

This guest article from YourTango was written by Leslie Rouder.

The challenges facing a person who is married to someone with untreated attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (also known as ADD or ADHD) can be difficult to navigate.

These challenges may be completely hidden to the rest of the world. No one seems to understand what you struggle with. Your spouse is such a “great guy” and may appear “together” to everyone else.

This article attempts to address some of the predictable patterns that one may experience being married to someone with ADD and why it creates such difficulty. 

Being married to someone with untreated ADD is often fraught with a predictable progressive pattern that goes from happy to confused to angry, and finally, to hopeless. How does this happen and why is this so predictable in couples whose spouses have untreated ADD?

In today’s world, we sit around — a lot. For many of us our professional and personal lives tend to be pretty sedentary. And that’s particularly problematic if you were diagnosed with the hyperactive type of ADHD. The last thing you probably can do is sit still — or hide your restlessness.

According to psychologist Ari Tuckman, PsyD, in his comprehensive book More Attention, Less Deficit: Success Strategies for Adults with ADHD, “If you were hyperactive as a kid, odds are that you’re much less hyperactive now. You probably won’t be vibrating off your seat anymore, but you may feel restless if forced to sit for extended periods, like a long meeting or movie.”

You might need to channel that excess energy elsewhere. Here are five ways to calm hyperactivity at work from Tuckman’s excellent book.

Managing attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) effectively isn’t just about finding good tools and techniques. Your attitude also plays a significant role in your success.

For starters, if you have a positive mindset, you’ll be more apt to learn and practice the necessary skills, according to Jennifer Koretsky, a senior certified ADHD coach and author of Odd One Out: The Maverick’s Guide to Adult ADD. “It’s very hard to make positive changes in your life when you’re stuck in a negative mindset,” she said.

Your attitude also affects how much effort you exert and what you do when setbacks strike, said Ari Tuckman, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and author of Understand Your Brain, Get More Done: The ADHD Executive Functions Workbook. “A positive mindset keeps setbacks in perspective — this is one situation and one experience,” he said.

Knowing what works for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is just as important as knowing what doesn’t. In fact, some of the tactics you’re using might even exacerbate your symptoms.

Whether it’s techniques that you’ve tried yourself or others have employed, below are seven surefire ways to unsuccessfully cope with ADHD. Plus, at the bottom you’ll find techniques that actually do work.

1. Unsuccessful strategy: Criticizing. Individuals with ADHD usually already have a sinking self-esteem and hold negative beliefs about themselves. So when loved ones or others criticize them, it chips away at their self-worth even more.

“Remember, it’s not that the person with ADHD doesn’t want to do something – they just can’t,” said Stephanie Sarkis, Ph.D, a psychotherapist and author of several books on ADHD, including 10 Simple Solutions to Adult ADD.

Receiving a diagnosis of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can be overwhelming, confusing and liberating. Now you have a name for your longtime struggles.

But you also might have many questions, such as: Where do I go from here?

Below, clinicians and coaches who have ADHD reflect back on the days they were diagnosed, revealing the insights they wish they would’ve known.

Don’t wait to get diagnosed. If you think you have ADHD, get a proper evaluation.

“I first suspected I had ADHD 10 years ago, but tried the hard way to deal with my symptoms on my own. Newly diagnosed this year, at 37, I realize all the time I wasted trying to figure myself out, without ever fully understanding the brain wiring I’ve been working with,” said ADHD coach Andrea Nordstrom, RPN, PG Dip. CBT.

Some symptoms of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can easily turn everyday activities into obstacles in life. (For instance, if you’re constantly distracted, it may be difficult to get work done at your job.)

But that doesn’t mean that they have to remain hurdles and hamper your days. The key is to forget what works for people without ADHD and find the tools and techniques that work for you.

Below, several coaches and clinicians who both specialize in and suffer from ADHD share their biggest challenges and the successful strategies they use. Maybe these approaches will resonate with you, too.

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) symptoms can easily disrupt your daily life. Fortunately, there are many ways you can successfully manage your symptoms.

Below, experts — some of whom have ADHD — share their best strategies.

1. Accept your diagnosis. ADHD is not a death sentence, said Roberto Olivardia, Ph.D, a clinical psychologist and clinical instructor in the department of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. “It is simply a way the brain is wired.”

Accepting your diagnosis is key because it paves the way to positive action, such as learning about ADHD and finding strategies that work for you. As he said, “Acceptance does not mean that you love every aspect of something. It means that you recognize that it is what it is.”

Click through to read 11 more great tips…

I’m pleased to announce a free Psych Central webinar on the topic of relationships and ADHD.

Get psyched with Psych Central’s Zoë Kessler and author Melissa Orlov in a fun hour of sharing about the good stuff in an ADHD / Non-ADHD partnership!

We’ll talk about how we can bring out the best in you and your loved one.

During our webinar, we’ll:

• re-discover what each partner brings  to the relationship
• discover some new ways to bring out the best in you and your loved one!
• invite you to share your positive stories
• remind each other of opportunities and possibilities

…and more!

Parenting a child with ADHD can be especially tough during the summer. “Kids with ADHD blossom when they have a structured schedule, and summertime is notorious for having a lack of scheduling,” according to Stephanie Sarkis, Ph.D, a psychotherapist and author of Making the Grade with ADD: A Student’s Guide to Succeeding in College with Attention Deficit Disorder.

Psychotherapist and ADHD expert Terry Matlen, ACSW, agreed. Because most parents can’t mimic the tight structure of school, kids often get bored — and may get into trouble, she said. That’s because when kids with ADHD get bored, they seek out stimuli, which can be anything from picking fights with their families to playing with fire, she said.

Some parents discontinue their child’s medication during the summer, which poses another challenge, said Matlen, also author of Survival Tips for Women with ADHD. “That can create a situation where the child has a hard time with self-control, mood regulation [and] social behaviors.”

But while the summer can be challenging, you can absolutely overcome these obstacles and enjoy a fun break. Below, Sarkis and Matlen offer their excellent suggestions.

I’m pleased to announce a free Psych Central webinar on the topic of the impact of anger in a marriage or romantic partnership with an adult with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

Anger is one of those emotions we’re taught to suppress and many of us simply don’t know how to handle it. This webinar will help folks better understand the role of anger in a relationships, and ways with dealing with it.

Here are a few of the topics they’ll cover:

• Why effort and willpower are no match for ADHD treatment in curbing anger

• How anger erodes trust and creates anxiety
• The gender difference in coping with anger
• How untreated ADHD anger can lead to low self-esteem, dwindling self-confidence, and depression
• ADHD-specific anger-management techniques, tools, and treatment that work
• …and more!

A Q & A will also be included.

The webinar is this Thursday, May 10 from 8:00 PM – 9:00 PM EDT.

“Stigma thrives in silence but tends to fade when people are open and we can put a face to a condition or situation,” according to Ari Tuckman, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and author of Understand Your Brain, Get More Done: The ADHD Executive Functions Workbook. The good news is that people are speaking up, and the stigma surrounding attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is shrinking.

It’s also decreasing thanks to well-designed studies, said Stephanie Sarkis, Ph.D, a psychotherapist and author of several books on ADHD, including Adult ADD: A Guide for the Newly Diagnosed. “Research is showing more and more that ADHD is a true biological [and] genetic disorder,” she said.

The bad news is that stigma and stereotypes still persist. Psychotherapist Terry Matlen, ACSW, along with other ADHD experts and advocates wrote a piece on ADHD myths almost 10 years ago. Sadly, she said, the misconceptions today are still the same.