Why is it that families are kept so far out of the loop when it comes to a loved one’s health?

The quick, easy answer, of course, is the nation’s health insurance portability and accountability act (HIPAA). Physicians are able to share only certain information with the family unless the patient agrees to more. The problem is that the patient might be too elderly, addicted or mentally ill to cooperate or even understand what they are agreeing to (or simply stubborn).

Certainly individual civil liberties must be taken into consideration. This writer, in fact, is more than moderately liberal.

But there is a blurry but significant line that puts human wisdom to the test, as we evaluate true need for family assistance.

The day I returned from inpatient therapy, my Lab-Chow mix cuddled up to me on the bed as I cried. She looked into my defeated gaze and licked my tears.

I was astounded that this creature was capable of the empathy that I so craved in my closest friends and relatives. It was like she could read the pathetic and sad thoughts that disabled me and wanted me to know I was lovable in the midst of my suffering.

She continues to be a supportive presence in my life, especially on the days that I grow weary of trying on — and throwing out — every mindful exercise and cognitive behavioral strategy… the hours where staying positive seems impossible. She gets it. I know she does.

Every week I hear tales of four-legged creatures becoming angels in times of terrifying darkness. Indeed, a substantial body of research indicates that pets improve our mental health.

How? Here are a few ways.

In a previous post, I mentioned there was a rumor of redundancy for some friends of mine. Some people were in fact let go, though none of my friends were among the unfortunate ones.

Redundancy — losing your job in a layoff — is difficult for most people. I’ve worked with many people who have been made redundant and struggled with the aftermath. On the whole, these individuals have been hard workers, intelligent, and loyal to their companies; when the hammer finally fell, they often went into an emotional tailspin.

After the initial shock, and even though many had been compensated well for losing their job, it’s interesting to note money became the least important factor.

What really mattered was suddenly losing direction and meaning in their lives. Without work, they became unsure and lost.

Some sobering statistics: Depression has a much greater impact on marital life than rheumatoid arthritis or cardiac disease. Ninety percent of marriages where one person is bipolar ends in divorce. Persons diagnosed with bipolar disorder have three times the rate of divorce as the general public, which is about 50 percent.

This is all to communicate this message: marriages in which one person suffers from depression or bipolar disorder can be extremely fragile.

I know, because I’m in one.

Here are six tips that have helped us and other couples I know defy the statistics.

I grew up with high anxiety, and at times wondered if my tendency to brood and overthink could be fueling my anxiety and stress. After several years of researching ways to cope with anxiety, I was convinced that an excessive tendency toward “inward attention” could indeed be the primary reason for my anxiety.

By diverting your attention away from your thoughts and focusing your visual attention on the world outside, you will be able to overcome your negative thoughts and emotions. The idea is cutting-edge and still in its initial stages; it’s best not to take it as qualified medical advice.

However, the technique is simple enough for anyone to try out and does not have any potential for obvious adverse effects.

I have some friends who have heard a rumor their company will be making big redundancies soon, and I really feel for them. One thing that’s guaranteed to cause instability in a person — and any organization — is the rumor of redundancy.

For many, the security of having a job is essential for their well-being. If you know anything about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, safety and employment are in the second level, just above breathing — so it’s pretty important.

If you are facing the threat of redundancy then I imagine you’re going through many different emotions right now, but there are some things you can do to help you deal with these rumors more easily.

Elizabeth Christine Tanner wrote a play, The Turned Leaf, about her troublesome relationship with her mentally ill mother.

“A young girl’s traumatic event may have triggered her inherited undiagnosed mental illness. The Turned Leaf follows one woman’s struggle with a mental illness, the effect it has on her and her loved ones. This drama is infused with modern dance , video elements, modern song and digs deep into the heart of the illness. ”

Below is a brief synopsis of how she came to write the play and what she hopes to accomplish with it.

It is Mental Health Awareness month, and I began to contemplate what mental health means to me.

Mental health and wellness is the state at which one feels, thinks, and behaves. Mental health can be viewed on a continuum, starting with an individual who is mentally well and free of any impairment in his or her daily life, while someone else might have mild concerns and distress, and another might have a severe mental illness.

Everyone has “stuff” that they keep contained in a tightly sealed plastic bag. There are some who occasionally can’t help but let the “stuff” leak, and there are those with the bag wide open.

However, in our society, we still tend to stigmatize those who let their “stuff” leak out instead of helping them, understanding them, or simply not judging them. Just as we all know someone with cancer, we all know someone with a mental health disorder.

In his book The Art of Uncertainty, Dennis Merritt Jones writes:

“Between a shaky world economy, increasing unemployment, and related issues, many today are being forced to come to the edge of uncertainty. Just like the baby sparrows, they find themselves leaning into the mystery that change brings, because they have no choice: It’s fly or die.”

For persons struggling with depression and anxiety — and for those of us who are highly sensitive — uncertainty is especially difficult. Forget about learning to fly. The uncertainty itself feels like death and can cripple our efforts to do anything during a time of transition.

I have been living in uncertainty, like many people, ever since December of 2008 when the economy plummeted and the creative fields — like architecture and publishing — took a hard blow, making it extremely difficult to feed a family. In that time, I think I have worked a total of 10 jobs — becoming everything from a defense contractor to a depression “expert.” I even thought about teaching high school morality. Now that’s desperate.

I don’t think I’ll ever be comfortable with uncertainty, but having lived in that terrain for almost five years now, I’m qualified to offer a few tips of how not to lose it when things are constantly changing.

Suicide.

It remains a topic few health professionals want to discuss openly with their patients. It remains a topic avoided even by many mental health professionals. Policy makers see it as a black hole without an obvious solution.

And now grim new statistics confirm a disturbing trend — more people are taking their own lives than ever before in the U.S.

The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention released statistics yesterday showing that 33,687 people died in motor vehicle accidents, while nearly 5,000 more — 38,364 — died by suicide. Middle-aged Americans are making up the biggest leap in the suicide rate.

It’s data that should make us sit up and think.

I was going to comment on health care expenditures with an article entitled, “How the High Cost of Health is My Fault.” In it, I would briefly outline my experience with mental illness and detail the cost of caring for it, which, at present, includes medication and doctor visits, totals at least $10,500 per year. Much of this cost is borne by an insurance company.

Then I was going to relate the story about how, in the summer of 2002, I chose to stop taking my medicine the way my doctor directed me to take it, and then I stopped taking my medicine at all.

This was a bad choice. As a result, my illness became an emergency.

Nine hours in the ICU, four days in a private room, and two more weeks of hospital care brought a bill that topped $95,000.

The cost of nine years of care was eaten up by just a few weeks of my irresponsibility. That was cost that the health care industry, including my insurance company, would not have had to bear if I had only taken my medicine as directed.

You suspect your teen is using drugs. Maybe they’re not acting like themselves. Maybe they’re cutting school or shirking other responsibilities. Maybe their grades are dropping. Or their behavior is worsening. Maybe they’ve started hanging out with a bad crowd.

Maybe they’re being secretive and have even stolen money from your wallet. Maybe their physical appearance has changed with rapid weight loss or red eyes. Maybe you’ve noticed a change in their sleep habits, energy level and mood. Maybe you’ve actually found marijuana or other drugs in their room.

Naturally, the thought and possible confirmation of your child using drugs trigger a rush and range of emotions: anger, frustration, disappointment, sadness, fear.

If you think your child is using drugs, how do you approach them? Where do you start?