Brain and Behavior

Exhausted Mothers, It’s Not Your Fault that You Feel Like This

I felt like that, too. I was head over heels in love with my daughters, but that didn't protect me. I had been so determined to be the best mother I could be that I dedicated myself to the job beyond reason and became exhausted and depleted in the process. I wondered if perhaps I was a bad mother. But actually, I am surprised nearly all mothers don’t suffer like this. Here's why it's not our fault.

Motherhood is tough
This is the hardest job I have ever had. Heaven and hell at the same time. Frequent interruptions, lack of control over the agenda, constantly switching tasks, too much to do, emotional outbursts, no holidays -- all when while I'm sleep-deprived.
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Bullying

I Won’t Make the Same Mistakes My Parents Made

“I will not make the same mistakes my parents made.” It may be one of the most common sentiments in the world of parenting. But when we express this desire, it is often met with rolled eyes or some other doubtful response. Why is that? Deep down inside, I think we all sense it is much more complicated than we are willing to acknowledge.

Changing our parenting approach from the way we were raised is extremely difficult. The only easy solution is to swing the parenting pendulum to the opposite extreme, which does very little to improve the situation.

It is as though we are hardwired to behave in the same manner. In reality, that may be the truth. Our brain has been wired to perceive reality in a certain way.

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ADHD and ADD

7 Practical Tips for Single Moms with ADHD

Single moms with ADHD have a lot of stressors to contend with. Being a single parent is hard enough. But when you have ADHD, as Terry Matlen said, “multiply the stress by a million.” ADHD affects your ability to pay attention, prioritize, plan, organize and recall details, thereby making working and running the household that much tougher. Plus, because ADHD is highly genetic, it’s very likely that one or more of your kids has ADHD, she said.

Matlen’s clients tell her that their biggest concern is that there is no support and they’re constantly on call. “The sense of isolation is huge for these moms.” So is the guilt. They worry that they’re letting down their kids, she said.
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Anger

Patience Required

Several years ago, when ordering a fish sandwich in a fast food joint, I was told it would take a while. “How long?” I inquired. “About a minute.”

A minute. I have to wait a whole minute! I don’t know if I can handle that!

Nowadays, requests for patience have shrunk to “wait a second!” And quite often, the answer is, “No, that’s too long!”

Think I’m kidding? How many times have you surfed the Web, clicking on another site if the download didn’t happen immediately? How many times have you skimmed your emails, deciding what to delete in less than a second?
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Children and Teens

Teen Depression and Suicide: The Tough Lessons I Learned


There are important warning signs -- knowing them could save someone close to you.

It started out like any other Friday Fall morning. The foliage was slowly turning to stunning yellows, reds and oranges. Workers and students alike were heading off to their respective responsibilities, likely looking forward to the weekend.

And then the devastating and shocking news started to circulate amongst our friends, loved ones and community.

A 15-year-old 10th grader had taken her life.

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ADHD and ADD

Psychology Around the Net: November 21, 2015


With Thanksgiving just a few days away, we're in the throes of the holiday season here in America; unfortunately, this isn't a happy time for all. However, psychologists have a few tips and tricks to keep your holiday blues in check.

Of course, we've also got the latest on sex and happiness, how a mother's age could affect her daughter's mental health, whether your child's ADHD medication puts him or her at risk for bullying, and more.

Have a happy Saturday!

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Children and Teens

What I Learned from Slowing Down

On a daily basis, there are tragic events happening all across the world. We read it in the newspaper, see it on television, hear it on the radio, and even see it on our Twitter feeds. These tragic events, even from just reading about them, can make us feel sad, depressed and even helpless.

Reading about all of the atrocities in the world makes me want to give as many kids water, education, electricity and Internet access as possible. Yet I also feel trapped in my own world. I am frozen in ice about how to act. I want to help, but it really is not time for me to do so.

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Children and Teens

3 Steps to Rebrand Your Parenting Style with a Teenage Daughter


When she hits the teen years, it's time to re-think your parenting strategy.

My daughter repeatedly doesn’t listen and she refuses to do it my way, even when her way doesn’t make sense.

I'm sure you know that from your girlfriends, Rosie O'Donnell's challenge with her 18-year old, or even your own parenting experience. At some point, your daughter shifts from being your ever adoring princess to your teen adversary. To overcome the challenges with your tween/teen wanna-be adult, you have to shift parenting styles.

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Caregivers

How Babies Change Relationships

Sheryl and Larry tied the knot five years ago. As educated, career-oriented people, they entered into a modern marriage. “I wouldn’t dream of marrying a man who believed that I should be doing the housework and child care while he put his feet up in front of the TV after work. That kind of thinking repulses me. And Larry’s not that kind of guy; he’s always been supportive of me and my career. That’s why I’m so confused now,” said Sheryl as she tried hard to hold back the tears.

“Since Josh was born 14 months ago, everything’s changed. I still work full-time but somehow, I’ve become the one in charge of all the never-ending tasks. Yes, Larry offers to help, saying, ‘just tell me what you want me to do.’ I could choke him when he says that. He just doesn’t get it.”

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Children and Teens

3 Ways to Help Your Child Turn Mistakes into Success


They can't learn anything if they're not allowed to try and try again.

"Wow, she’s a natural at soccer."

"He's like a math prodigy!"

"Did you see how well she plays the violin? And she’s only five."

Growing up, I was in awe of kids and adults who displayed raw talent in sports, academics, music, and other areas. In fact, I thought such innate, effortless talent was the only path to success.

Don’t get me wrong -- My mom attempted to influence me with the truism: If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
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Caregivers

The Mindful Pause

I am really feeling the benefit of peppering my day with mini-meditations right now and the first one I want to share with you is this: the mindful pause.

It's particularly useful for mothers. As a mother, your daily experience is of the craziness of multiple simultaneous demands on your attention, frequent interruptions, on-the-spot decision making, settling squabbles, switching tasks frequently and knowing what you do shapes the lives of your children.

Taking regular “mini-breaks” or moments to pause is necessary to regroup, recharge and restore the relaxation response in your body. It’s like a system reboot.
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