Bullying

Why Trump’s Election May Be Especially Difficult for Many Raised in Dysfunctional Families

I have heard from many who grew up with dysfunction, abuse, or narcissistic control how upset they feel by Donald Trump's election. As one person told me, “It feels like a nightmare. An egomaniac who cares little for my welfare is taking over my country and there is nothing I can do about it. I feel like I did as a kid when my autocratic dad had total control over all of us.”
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Bullying

Workplace Bullying: A Bonanza for Lawyers But Employees Bear the Brunt

Incidents of workplace bullying have risen significantly since 2014 and with compensation payouts at an all-time high, lawyers are reaping a bonanza but employees bear the brunt, with affected individuals left isolated and underserviced.  

Workplace bullying isolates and traumatises the very best employees (usually women) and even the largest settlements aren’t enough to cover the losses incurred by those affected.  
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Bullying

The Mental Health Impact of Racism on Students

Since the presidential election, American primary and secondary schools have seen a
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Bullying

Emotional Abuse in Children

Much of the work on emotional abuse has been written about adult relationships, yet children, pre-teens and teens have their own unique needs in these very important formative years. There are certain experiences, such as secure attachment, that need to be met in order for children to grow and thrive. Unfortunately, they do not always have that safe place in their own home.
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Bullying

Signs of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Today

It’s clear that people from every socio-economic status have experienced one or more life events that have caused emotional trauma, thus creating PTSD. It’s not just a “veteran’s ailment,” and PTSD is gaining needed recognition in the psychotherapeutic healing community.

PTSD can be caused by childhood trauma, financial disasters, recession, loss of employment, loss of a relationally close family member, divorce, loss of home, sudden shift in life responsibilities such as having to be a primary caretaker for an elderly family member, physical and chronic pain, loss of health, or many other scenarios.
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Bullying

Trauma: The Lie Whisperer

Many, if not most of us, have been through some traumatic event in our lives. When you think back to your childhood you may see flashes of violence, abuse, neglect, or addiction. This might have been your "normal." This might still be your "normal." When we live through trauma something happens to us, without our knowledge. Lies are quietly spoken to our psyches. So what are these lies and who whispers them to those of us who have suffered trauma?

First, let’s define trauma. Merriam-Webster defines trauma as:
a very difficult or unpleasant experience that causes someone to have mental or emotional problems usually for a long time.
But why does “a very difficult or unpleasant experience cause someone to have mental or emotional problems”? Sounds like a silly question, right? One could answer; because it was scary, anxiety provoking, hurtful, debilitating, horrific, physically painful, and the list goes on. But this still does not answer the why of my question. Let’s break it down even further. What is the connection between experiencing trauma and internalizing it, resulting in, what Merriam-Webster calls, “mental or emotional problems”?
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Anger

Office Space: When the Nine to Five Feels Longer

Welcome to the grown-up version of the principal’s office.

“Matt, in here now. We need to talk. Immediately,” my supervisor barked.

Sheepishly, I shuffled in. Fearful of my supervisor’s explosive temper, I cowered in his corner office.

“Sit down,” he grunted. I braced for Hurricane Reid. Moodier than your favorite Hollywood starlet, Reid’s face would contort into a blazing fury before unleashing his latest tirade. My only question: Would he drizzle me with spittle this time?
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Bullying

Why Are We Still Labeling Children as ‘Emotionally Disturbed’?

I'm not perfect at my job, but I know my presence makes a world of difference

I proudly landed my first school counseling job at a public school in New York City. I had been warned by fellow counselors we can never be fully prepared to take on the enormity of our role.

I admit to feeling intimidated upon hearing the label given to children of whom I would be working. The term, "emotionally disturbed (ED)" also intrigued me, but painted a picture before I even met a single child on my caseload. Not learning specific special education classifications in graduate school, I read up as much as I could about this identification. The image my mind had created included children appearing older than their natural age, possessing negativity and a toughness about them; similarly, to the many Hollywood movies about inner city kids, and contrary to the children whom I grew up with in suburban schools. And then I arrived to work on my first day, wide-eyed and with a tough exterior of my own that I anticipated I would need.
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Bullying

Positive Ways to Negotiate with Bullies

One of the definitions of “bully” in the Merriam-Webster dictionary is: “a browbeating person who is cruel to others.” A definition for the word “negotiate” includes: “to arrange for or bring about through conference, discussion, and compromise.”

Since the very core of negotiation is compromise -- and since that is often the very last thing bullies are prepared to do, it takes some thought to maneuver through a negotiation process with one. But it can be done!

The Toastmasters Interpersonal...
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Books

3 Tips for Helping Your Kids Develop Empathy

Every child is already empathic. We all are (with a few exceptions). We are wired for empathy. We are wired to connect, communicate and collaborate with others.

Empathy develops in infancy. “A child first learns to tune in to his or her mother’s emotions and moods, and later on to other people’s,” write Jessica Joelle Alexander and Iben Dissing Sandahl in their new book The Danish Way of Parenting: What the Happiest People in the World Know About Raising Confident, Capable Kids.

They further explain, “What the mother feels, the child will feel and mirror. This is why things such as eye contact, facial expressions, and tone of voice are so important in the beginning of life. It is the first way we feel trust and attachment and begin to learn empathy.”
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