Books Articles

Dealing with Depression: Mindfully Turning Toward Negative Thoughts & Feelings

Monday, August 4th, 2014

depression-have-an-upsideDoes this sound familiar?

I don’t want to feel this way. When I’m anxious, I start thinking of ways I can be in control. So many little things have been bothering me lately, which only makes me madder at myself for letting them bother me. I wish I were different. When I get upset, I start thinking about what I did wrong. About what’s wrong with me.

These are all examples of aversion. “Aversion is the drive to avoid, escape, get rid of, numb out from, or destroy things we experience as unpleasant,” according to authors John Teasdale, Mark Williams and Zindel Segal in The Mindful Way Workbook: An 8-Week Program to Free Yourself from Depression and Emotional Distress.

What Really Works in Disciplining Your Teen

Wednesday, July 23rd, 2014

What Really Works in Disciplining Your TeenParenting teens is tricky. Some parents, worried their teens will make bad decisions, micromanage their behavior. They set a slew of rules and parent with iron fists, lectures and fear-based tactics.

This, however, tends to drive teens away and disconnects them from their parents. In the second edition of his book The Available Parent: Expert Advice for Raising Successful and Resilient Teens and Tweens, clinical psychologist and parenting expert John Duffy, Ph.D, advocates for a different approach.

Of course, discipline is important for teens. It provides structure and boundaries, writes Duffy. But he distinguishes effective discipline from punishment. Punishment triggers arguments and cuts communication. Effective discipline, however, “comes from a calm, centered, loving place.”

10 Ways to Boost Your Energy

Monday, July 21st, 2014

10 Ways to Boost Your Energy“Energy is your most precious resource,” writes Susannah Seton in the introduction of Everyday Energy Boosters: 365 Tips and Tricks to Help You Feel Like a Million Bucks, co-written with Sondra Kornblatt.

“Without it, you simply go through the motions of your life.” With energy, she notes, we’re able to engage in our work and relationships, and bask in the joy of being alive, “our birthright.”

3 Mindful Ways to Navigate Anger

Tuesday, July 15th, 2014

3 Mindful Ways to Navigate AngerAnger is a natural and normal emotion. It’s also a valuable one. It lets us know when our boundaries have been crossed in all areas of our lives.

However, anger also can distract us. We may become lost in our anger, blind to the blessings around us.

How Depression Damages Your Relationship & What You Can Do

Friday, July 4th, 2014

How Depression Damages Your Relationship & What You Can DoDepression is a difficult illness that darkens your thoughts and feelings. It saps your self-esteem, energy, motivation and interest in anything. It’s also tough on romantic relationships.

According to psychologist Shannon Kolakowski, PsyD, in her book When Depression Hurts Your Relationship: How to Regain Intimacy and Reconnect with Your Partner When You’re Depressed, depression diminishes your ability to connect with your partner and creates doubts about your union. Symptoms such as anger and irritability can create tension between partners.

3 Unique Techniques for Navigating a Negative Inner Voice

Tuesday, June 24th, 2014

3 Unique Techniques for Navigating a Negative Inner VoiceEveryone has a negative inner voice. For some this voice speaks up occasionally. For others the voice is a frequent visitor.

According to Steve Andreas in his book Transforming Negative Self-Talk, “An internal voice may remind us of past failures, sorrows, or disappointments, torture us with criticism or verbal abuse, describe frightening or unpleasant futures, or disturb us in other ways.”

A negative inner voice can make us feel hopeless and helpless, because we can’t control the demoralizing thoughts brewing in our brains. However, there is something you can do — many things, in fact.

10 Habits for a Happy Marriage

Sunday, June 22nd, 2014

10 Habits for a Happy MarriageThe key to a happy marriage is the quality of your habits, according to therapists Ashley Davis Bush and Daniel Arthur Bush.

Thankfully, healthy habits can be learned. In their book 75 Habits for a Happy Marriage Davis Bush, LICSW, and Bush, Ph.D, share a variety of practical, valuable tips for couples to reconnect, communicate better and enhance their intimacy.

3 Ways to Navigate Anxious Thoughts with Self-Compassion

Saturday, June 21st, 2014

3 Ways to Navigate Anxious Thoughts with Self-CompassionFor so many of us when we start having anxious thoughts, we get self-critical. We berate ourselves for our worries, sweaty palms and all-over shakiness.

We call ourselves names. We become ashamed and embarrassed.

What is wrong with you? You’re an idiot for getting anxious over something so small!

The Power of Our Personal Stories

Sunday, June 15th, 2014

The Power of Our Personal StoriesThe stories we spin about ourselves shape our lives. These stories shape how we interact with others, and even how they interact with us. They shape how we feel about ourselves and what we think we’re capable of.

These stories shape the decisions we make, everything from the partners we pick to the activities we participate in.

If we spin a story that we’re not good enough, we just might pick a partner who doesn’t treat us very well. If we spin a story that we’re stupid, we might not submit our resume for the job we’ve always wanted because well, we won’t get it, anyway.

A Technique for Feeling Painful Feelings

Thursday, June 12th, 2014

A Technique for Feeling Painful FeelingsMany of us avoid feeling our feelings because we worry that feeling them will be more painful than just pretending they don’t exist. Or we assume they’ll simply skulk away (and stay away permanently).

However, according to therapist and author Tina Gilbertson, LPC, in her book Constructive Wallowing: How to Beat Bad Feelings By Letting Yourself Have Them, “You let feelings ‘go’ by feeling them fully. Once they’re felt, they can leave.”

Beyond Awareness: Mental Health Empathy Month

Wednesday, June 11th, 2014

Beyond Awareness: Mental Health Empathy MonthMay is Mental Health Awareness Month. It’s a good time to look back on what two great writers have said about their experiences with mental illness. These accounts remind us that even though we’ve made great progress with diagnosis and treatment, we are a long way from fully understanding the darkest corners of the human psyche.

5 Ways to Feel More Fulfilled at Work

Friday, June 6th, 2014

5 Ways to Feel More Fulfilled at WorkWe spend the majority of our day at work. So feeling …

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