Best of Our Blogs

Best of Our Blogs: August 26, 2016

"My guiding assumption was  'Something is fundamentally wrong with me,' and I struggled to control and fix what felt like a basically flawed self. I drove myself in academics, was a fervent political activist and devoted myself to a very full social life. I avoided pain (and created more) with an addition to food and a preoccupation with achievement. My pursuit of pleasure was sometimes wholesome-in nature, with friends-but also included an impulsive kind of thrill-seeking through recreational drugs, sex, and other adventures. In the eyes of the world, I was highly functional. Internally, I was anxious, driven, and often depressed. I didn't feel at peace with any part of my life." - Tara Brach, Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha
When someone says something cruel, the pain of receiving that messages is equal to how true we think it is. If we know the statement is completely false, it's easier to let it go without taking it personally. However, if someone hits upon something we're vulnerable about, it feels like a throbbing wound.

For many of us who had troubled childhoods, we grow into adults who believe something's missing. Our external lives mirrors that. This is why criticism gets to us. It's why we sabotage our success or feel insanely jealous when someone achieves more than us. At the heart of it, we feel less than, not good enough, and unworthy.

If you've discovered your empty well, fill it with self-love, acceptance and kindness. You don't need to do something amazing to deserve love and happiness. You simply need to tune in to the wonderful person that's always been there. Our top posts this week will help remind you whether anxious, worn down and manipulated, you are perfectly imperfect as you are.
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Best of Our Blogs

Best of Our Blogs: August 23, 2016

Do you have a morning routine that starts your day on the right foot? Or are you stumbling from bed to the front door?

Well-known author and life coach Tony Robbins says his morning ritual consists of flooding himself with gratitude for ten-minutes. I start the day visualizing what I want most for the day whether it's simply to stay present or to practice courage.

When we're struggling with illness, it can easily feel like it's got our life in its hands. But we're more than our illness.

Try adopting your own routine and see if it can empower you to take charge of your destiny.

One way to start anew is to check out our most popular posts on sexual desires, narcissism and neediness. It may be the thing that boosts not just your day, but your life.
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Best of Our Blogs: August 19, 2016

I had an 11-year relationship end today. In a world of chaos, strife and discord, he was my calm center. If you have a beloved pet, then you know the pain of losing him or her.

It's not all cuteness and fur. They love us on our good and bad days. They remind us we're lovable when we feel like we're not enough. They help us stay present and soothe our worries and anxiety. My beloved bunny got me through several years of struggle. I'm sad and shocked that he's gone. But I'm also grateful we were able to have him as long as we did.

If you've recently lost a pet, I hope you'll find this article, this one and this one comforting to you.

If you're struggling with a human relationship, our top posts this week will tell you if it's time to end a relationship and how to cope with someone who is a narcissist. You'll also discover whether you're really experiencing an anxiety attack and if your childhood (even if it was a good one) is having a painful affect on you.
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Best of Our Blogs: August 16, 2016

Many students are heading back to school. Young or old, student or not, there's always something new we can learn. Many times we get stuck in old ways of thinking because we're too scared to change.

But monumental changes come from the simplest of steps. It takes a change in direction, perspective and attitude to cause a domino affect in society and the world.

How can you use this season to beef up your knowledge and learn something new?

From differentiating between anxiety and depression, opening up your mind to mental illness and mindfulness for kids, and discovering if you're a victim of emotional neglect or gaslighting, our top posts this week will give you tons of opportunity. Class is in session.
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Best of Our Blogs: August 12, 2016

Best-selling author Dr. Barbara De Angelis has said, "We don't develop courage by being happy every day. We develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity."

Sometimes, those difficult times come from the dynamics of a relationship. Other times, they come from dealing with our own personal matters.

All times, though, we can pull strength from ourselves and conquer to those difficult times to obtain the courage we need to face any other trials that come our way -- and let's face it, there will be more. Such is life, but also such is the resilience of humans.

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Best of Our Blogs: August 9, 2016

Anxiety can be crippling, but you can learn to manage it. Grudges might hurt you more than the "guilty" party, but you can let go of past grievances. Sometimes, it's easy to let others dictate how they'll treat you in a relationship, but you can set boundaries and show people what you expect -- and won't tolerate -- from them.

Get ready to explore new paths you can take

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Best of Our Blogs: August 5, 2016

Would you choose to live with debilitating pain or hardship? Would you pick parents who are cruel or uncaring? Would you decide to live a life filled with constant fear or sadness?

Probably not.

But the life you've been given has also come with resilience, strength and courage. It hasn't made you the most popular or easiest person to be around. But when you look at the road you travelled on and the road still unfolding in front of you, you realize it's molded you into the person you are now.

So why wouldn't you choose the life that's been given to you? It's yours to own, create and make. As poet Mary Oliver writes in The Summer Day, "Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
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Best of Our Blogs: August 2, 2016

What's harder than struggling with your own problem? Sometimes it's seeing someone you love suffer through it.

That explains why we often try to solve their problems.

We get caught in an invisible dance. They're trying not to upset us by pretending to do what we say. And we're trying to find creative ways to get them to do what we think is best.

It's a cycle that doesn't end until we realize we can't change others. More importantly, our happiness shouldn't be dependent on their well-being.

In truth, we must always return to ourselves. If we're stressed, feeling unworthy and unloved, we're focusing our energy on the wrong person. Before we help anyone, we must first help ourselves.

This week, start the process of self-healing with our tops posts on improving your self-esteem and self-worth.
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Best of Our Blogs: July 29, 2016

You're here to learn how to cope, deal, or manage a problem. You might be stuck in the thick of it and trying to feel your way through. You've dealt with this your whole life or maybe this issue is new.

You're focused on finding a solution. Sometimes you beat yourself up for not figuring things out. But of all the things that filter through your mind, I bet you don't think about this. But you should.

Everyone has problems. But you're not just reveling in it, you're searching for support and solution. That makes you, dear reader, a warrior.

It's not easy to deal with what you're going through. But instead of burying or denying it, you're here. That takes courage. As you read our posts on handling a narcissistic parent, ADHD, or depression, remember that. It's okay to give yourself credit for wanting to better yourself and your situation even if you haven't got it all figured out just yet.
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Best of Our Blogs

Best of Our Blogs: July 26, 2016

With social media and reality television, there's been an explosion of exposure. To be worthy, we all search for external validation with likes or retweets. Over-sharing is the norm, and being ordinary equates with being unimportant.

I worry about younger generations. Youth who don't spend adequate time building their own reservoir of self-love will grasp onto other things when they feel depleted. Compliments and recognition are fleeting. When you need acceptance and affirmation from others, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. For someone who is already sensitive, this can be severely damaging to their self-worth and self-esteem.

One thing I want to instill in my children is a sense of self that is not dependent on accolades and outside validation. It's a difficult task especially in our society. How often do you hear parents respond to anything their kids do with, "Good job!" ? Children grow up dependent on other people for validation and motivation.

I think a lot of our problems stem from this need to do the "right" thing, make someone else happy or succeed professionally because we believe we have to make others feel good so we can feel good about ourselves. In comparison, this week's posts show that focusing on who we are and what we need can help us build a strong inner life.
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Best of Our Blogs: July 22, 2016

"Nothing has ever come easy for me, and I think that's a really good thing." - Zooey Deschanel
With my birthday coming up in a few days, I'm mentally running through the same list of what I've done, have yet to do and acceptance for the things I will never do. There are things that are particularly hard like getting to a place of forgiveness or accepting that certain things and people will never change. Yet, there's peace in floating in the river of what is instead of fighting against the current.

Every decade pushes me forward. It shapes and molds me into who I'm supposed to become. The process isn't painless, but it's necessary for the evolution of my soul.

At every milestone and hidden within every moment is a chance for growth. If you listen carefully, you will hear it ask, "Do you see me? Will you forgive me? Will you love me?"

Those that keep themselves busy won't hear it or if they do, they purposely bury it under things, people, and drama.

Will you take this post as a sign to change? Will you read our top blogs this week on relationships, plagiarism and inter-generational trauma and see it as an invitation to start paying attention? What will you do?
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Best of Our Blogs

Best of Our Blogs: July 19, 2016

There's something we can do to bring peace back to our lives. In fact, most of the time we're creating our own havoc and crisis without realizing it.

If you've ever spent a day mulling over a friend said or what your mom did, then you could benefit. If you've ever spent too much time searching for something in your home, then you should try it. If your kids have developed a sense of entitlement, this could help too.

Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne with Lisa M. Ross, reminded me that a lot of our heartache is due to overcomplicating our lives.

When we bring in too much stuff into our home and mind, we create unnecessary struggle in our lives.

Simplifying by eliminating what we don't need (e.g. toxic relationships, broken trinkets, and negative thinking) helps us bring value and energy into what we do.

It's definitely not easy. But emptying out what's bad for us will clear the way for the things that really matter like love, time and happiness.
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