Best of Our Blogs

Best of Our Blogs: October 25, 2016


I thought I was over my dysfunctional relationship with one thing. You know the "one thing" I need to make me happy.

As soon as I lose this much pounds, I'll be happy.

As soon as I meet my soulmate, I'll be happy.

As soon as I marry him, I'll be happy.

When I have two kids (one boy and one girl), I'll be happy.

When I publish a book, I'll be happy.

I realized all I did was exchange one thing for another. But I realized that happiness wasn't a destination. It was a choice. And it wasn't even really happiness, I was truly searching for. It was a life-a messy, but meaningful and all my own life.

Those don't come with conditions. They come with feeling the painful hard stuff, growing and making tons of mistakes. So I've tried to throw away the "one thing," in exchange for this moment and everything beautiful and brutal (or as author Glennon Doyle Melton calls "brutiful") in it.

If you are on the same mission, you'll enjoy our posts this week on learning to love yourself and the wonderful things that can come with spending time alone.
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Best of Our Blogs

Best of Our Blogs: October 21, 2016

Every had a morning that ruined your whole day?

Maybe it's the one Sunday you could sleep in and your neighbor decided to mow the lawn. Or you woke up to screaming kids. Or you didn't hear the alarm and missed an important meeting.

As you reflect back, are you amazed that such simple things can thwart your plans? In fact, a single thought could bombard your mind pummeling through your day like a tornado.

Most of us are unconscious of how we give away way too much power to things and people that don't matter.

If you want to live a powerful, happy and successful life, you've got to wake up to how things are affecting you so you can respond not just react.

Start by creating a morning ritual. Maybe it's taking a deep breath in and stretching before you rush off toward your day. Maybe it's writing your thoughts in a journal. Maybe it's reflecting on three things you are grateful for.

We all have the power to change our moments and inevitably change our lives. We just have to take back the power that may have been taken from us through narcissistic people, overthinking and people who couldn't love us the way we needed them to.
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Best of Our Blogs: October 18, 2016

A lot of us fail at the life we desire because of one thing.

You're secretly waiting for permission.

You were raised to believe you had to play by the rules to succeed. Surprisingly, rules to stifle your voice and emotions, downplay your talents actually left you on the road to unhappiness and further away from your true self.

Who you were before adults broke your spirit is the real you. Rediscovering that person takes courage, support and the right resources, but when you uncover your true self, you don't have to wait for permission. You are worthy of being exactly who you are.

Whether you're recovering from narcissistic abuse, a passive-aggressive family, jealous mother, or being the martyr of your family, our posts this week will help you reconnect with that lost sense of you.
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Best of Our Blogs: October 14, 2016

Did you ever react a tad bit too strongly to a slight, rude comment or criticism? It could be fatigue that's got you snapping back. Or it could be something else.

Whenever something gets to me far more than it should, I question whether the emotional overreaction goes deeper.

Could my inner child be reacting to an unmet need? Is it a reminder of an unmet dream? Is it triggering negative beliefs I already hold about myself?

When something seemingly insignificant pulls you under, observe your reaction.

As you'll read this week, your inner voice may be alerting you to a potential narcissist, problem in your current relationship, or long-term issue with your self-worth. Listen carefully, and you may discover a lurking issue that's begging for your attention.
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Best of Our Blogs: October 11, 2016

You're busy beyond belief now. And it's fall. Winter season will trigger a flurry of activity that will burn you out come January. Instead of getting swept up in pumpkins and politics, use autumn as time to slow way down.

Think of something you're doing currently that you can let "fall" away. Do you need to watch two evening news? Is it really important to shop for the perfect outfit for an upcoming wedding? How necessary is it it to go for a run today?

Choose one thing to eliminate from your life and bring one thing back in. But let that thing be something soothing and comforting like resting, meditating or taking a leisurely bath.

We're all struggling with something. We're either obsessively trying to solve or distract ourselves from thinking of it. Take a breather by reading about trust, narcissism and what to do on a first date. And then rest. Not doing could be the answer to everything.
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Best of Our Blogs: October 7, 2016

There’s something running rampant in the world that can explain strife, depression and general unhappiness. I would argue that that something is self-hatred.

It’s all the horrible things we tell ourselves when we’re succeeding and failing that’s responsible for our dis-ease with life. In Uninvited, author Lysa Terkeurst explains it this way: “Negative self-talk was a rejection from my past that I had allowed to settle into the core of who I am. I talked about myself in ways I would never let another person. Hints of self-rejection laced my thoughts and poisoned my words more than I cared to admire.”

Part of the reason why negative self-talk is so insidious is we don’t see our thoughts as separate. We see it as truth. In Insights at the Edge, author and Mountain View Zen Center and the Zen Monastery Practice Center founder Cheri Huber says, “The most difficult part for people is that they think that’s who they are! So when people are listening to a voice in their head say, “You are so stupid!” they don’t realize that they are listening to a voice that’s calling them “you.” They think it’s them just thinking. When a voice kicks in about “I can’t believe that she—” or “What a miserable—,” that kind of conversation, they think it’s them, and feel bad for those thoughts.”

To end this week, our bloggers explain where those negative voices come from and how to stop listening to it. Have a great weekend!
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Best of Our Blogs: October 4, 2016

We are different and suffer from individual challenges. Yet we pull from the same well of humanity that makes us vulnerable to similar things.

We have basic needs like food, air and water. And we have a shared desire for connection, love, and validation.

Within each of us is a calling to give and receive, be seen, as well as heard.

If you strip away our class, race, and culture, we are at our core vulnerable beings.

We spend the beginning our lives being taught to hide that fact and adulthood struggling to rediscover who we are and what we truly feel.

Every time I felt alone in my suffering, all I needed to do was reach out to find someone else who felt equally alone. Every time I needed validation, all I had to do was listen and validate another. Every time I felt misunderstood, I needed to understand another. To receive, I only had to give.

This week, if you’re battling emotional eating, relationship problems and a lifetime of emotional neglect, scroll down and receive the words you need to hear right now. Then, be prepared to share them.
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Best of Our Blogs: September 30, 2016

If you are a truth teller you may experience two extremes. There will be people who can’t stand to be near you and others who are drawn to you.

It can be an isolating path when you speak honestly. But when you do it in company of those who are comfortable sharing theirs, it’s like coming home.

All of us are looking to be heard, and validated for who we are. But many of us are too afraid of rejection to remove our protective shells. It’s much easier to hide behind false perfection or superficial niceties.

But when we share what we really think and how we really feel, we open the light in. This light invites others to share their own truth. That’s how we blossom. That’s how we begin to change the world.

The next time someone asks how you feel. Be like our bloggers this week. Take a risk in your relationships. Be honest with them and yourself.
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Best of Our Blogs

Best of Our Blogs: September 9 , 2016

When we stumble, we can easily slide into despair. But life is always changing. When one season takes, another season is preparing us to receive.

In Let Your Life Speak, author Parker J. Palmer explains autumn this way:

“Autumn is a season of great beauty, but it is also a season of decline: the days grow shorter, the light is suffused, and summer’s abundance decays toward winter’s death. Faced...
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