Anger

Tis the Season of Giving But Are We Forgetting the Other Half of the Equation?

It’s that time of year again. Malls are overflowing with shoppers looking for the perfect gifts for their loved ones. Tis the season of giving in full bloom.

Especially during these trying times, it’s important to remember what’s most important in life: honoring and appreciating our loved ones. As Freud famously recognized, “Love and work are the cornerstones of our humaness.” Living with a sense of meaning and nourishing our important relationships makes our existence richer.

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Anger

7 Signs You Need a Little ‘Me Time’

With all the things on your daily to-do list, it’s easy to get lost in the whirl of activity and forget one essential activity: taking time for yourself. It isn’t selfish, but it is definitely important. While you might think you have everything under control, here are seven signs you need some me time.

Everything gets under your skin
The sound of the kids playing loudly in the other room, the wind messing up your hair, the grease-clogged sink you have to clean, that red sock that found its way into the laundry and colored the sheets pink, the last-minute assignment your boss handed you just as you were ready to leave for the day -- when you get overly upset by everything, this is a clear sign you need some time for yourself.
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Anger

Befriending Anger

Tracy came to therapy to be treated for depression. When I first met her, I couldn't help notice how meek and small she seemed despite her tall stature. She claimed people walked all over her. And she was scared to say no for fear others would get angry.

As she shared her stories, she wilted like a flower in need of water. When I asked if she had feelings about what she was sharing, she said, "This is just the way it is" and then let out a big sigh.

I was struck by her passivity. As I listened to stories of friends and family who grossly took advantage of her kindness, I felt my blood boil. My anger got me curious about hers: where was it?

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Addiction

The Brilliant Way We Avoid Our Emotions

Mary picks a fight with her husband at night so she doesn't have to deal with her sex anxiety. Looking for what’s wrong with her husband distracts her from her discomfort and the feelings of vulnerability that are causing her anxiety in the first place. By not directly addressing her core feelings with her husband, Mary misses an opportunity to be understood and problem-solve.

Michael doesn't feel settled or at ease with himself unless he drinks beer after beer. The alcohol calms his physical tension and mental anguish, but that strategy for dealing with his underlying pain is not sustainable. Eventually his drinking will lead to health and relationship problems.

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Anger

Signs of an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

Unlike physical or sexual abuse, emotional abuse can be much harder to pinpoint and recognize. Emotional abuse often is inconsistent in amount and duration and happens in multiple forms. At its core, emotional abuse plays into deep-seated fears of rejection, abandonment, unworthiness, shame and loveability.

Projection and gaslighting are two major tactics used in emotional abuse. Projection is the act of placing unacceptable feelings or unacceptable wants or desires onto another person. For example, a person who feels inferior constantly accuses others of being stupid or incompetent.
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Anger

Patience Required

Several years ago, when ordering a fish sandwich in a fast food joint, I was told it would take a while. “How long?” I inquired. “About a minute.”

A minute. I have to wait a whole minute! I don’t know if I can handle that!

Nowadays, requests for patience have shrunk to “wait a second!” And quite often, the answer is, “No, that’s too long!”

Think I’m kidding? How many times have you surfed the Web, clicking on another site if the download didn’t happen immediately? How many times have you skimmed your emails, deciding what to delete in less than a second?
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Anger

Learn the Top 5 Warning Signs of Verbal Abuse


Is there something seriously wrong in your relationship?

Verbal abuse sneaks into countless relationships. It's something millions of women and men endure on a daily basis. One in four teenage girls in a relationship report that they've been repeatedly verbally abused. One-third of all adults have been called names, and 20 percent have been humiliated in public by their partner.

Verbal abuse is as damaging as physical abuse. Because verbal abuse sufferers don't carry the outside scars and bruises, it can sometimes be hard to distinguish if your loved is suffering. Or perhaps you're the victim and because the damage isn't physical, you may wonder if what you're experiencing is indeed abuse.
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Anger

Think Twice Before You Label Events as Good or Bad

There is a Taoist parable about an old farmer who owned one beautiful horse. One day, this beloved horse ran away. His neighbors, upon hearing the news, came over to give their condolences. “We are so sorry,” they said. “How terrible this must be for you.”

He replied with a simple “Maybe.”

A few days later, the lost horse came back with three wild horses. His neighbors rushed to his home. “How wonderful! You are so very fortunate!”

The old farmer just said “Maybe.”
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Anger

Healthy and Unhealthy Anger

You know the feeling: that raw emotion that ebbs up when things aren’t going your way. It could be anywhere from a momentary annoyance with another (or with yourself) to uncontrollable rage.

Typically, anger is stirred up by frustration. You’re not getting what you want or deserve. Frustration may stem from healthy, legitimate needs (such as the need to be treated respectfully); from depression, which may be an outward expression of anger (such as realizing that you've taken all the blame but now realize that it’s not all you); or from narcissistic, false entitlement needs (feeling that you should be able to spend as much as you want regardless of your income).

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Anger

It’s Okay to Be Angry, Unless You’re a Woman

During the recent Democratic presidential debate, Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders swiped a question originally directed at Hillary Clinton, saying, “The American people are sick and tired of hearing about your damn emails.” Imagine if Hillary had said that herself. They might be polling differently today.

Women who show anger aren’t taken as seriously as their male counterparts, according to a
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