Though much has been written about how to deal with parents who are slowing down physically and mentally, I’ve read nothing about how to deal with parents who have become wiser and kinder.

It may seem like there’s no problem if your parents have become better people. Just count your blessings and get on with life! But it’s not always that simple.

Mike grumbles, “I can’t believe my father wants to be so involved with my kids. When I was growing up, he barely gave me the time of day. “Shut up! Do your homework! Listen to your mother!” That was pretty much the extent of our relationship. And now, he wants to take my son to school, coach his games, take him on a trip. Who is this new person? And how come I got the short end of the stick?”

Kim gripes, “My mother was always on my case. I had to dress right, speak right, eat right and live right. Otherwise, what would people think? Now, when I berate my daughter for not acting properly, my mother comes to her defense, telling me that I’m too hard on her. It makes me furious. She was 10 times harder on me than I am on my daughter. What’s going on here?”

All relationships — especially the ones near and dear to you — take work. But many of us get so wrapped up in our inner worlds and busy lives that we neglect everyone from our partners to our close friends.

According to Christina Steinorth, MFT, a psychotherapist and author of Cue Cards for Life: Thoughtful Tips for Better Relationships, “Relationships don’t magically take care of themselves — as with most living organisms, they need nurturing.”

Throughout the years, in her private practice, Steinorth has seen the same problems plague all relationships. She identified poor communication and poor conflict resolution skills as the most common concerns.

In fact, she called poor conflict resolution skills “the kiss of death,” for even the best relationships. “If you assassinate your partner’s character every time you have an argument and hold grudges from one argument to the next, I can pretty much promise you that your relationship will end up a sad state of affairs.”

And these skills are just as relevant and essential for your family, friends, boss and co-workers. Below, Steinorth offered 10 pointers for improving any relationship.

“Anger can destroy marriages, business partnerships and countries,” said Joe Shrand, M.D., an instructor at Harvard Medical School and co-author of the valuable, practical and science-based book Outsmarting Anger: 7 Strategies for Defusing Our Most Dangerous Emotion with Leigh Devine, MS.

Fortunately, each of us holds the power to defuse our own anger and even others,’ Dr. Shrand said. This is especially critical because often it’s not our own fuse that hinders our success; it’s someone else’s, he said.

The key in cooling anger lies in respect. As Dr. Shrand said, when was the last time you got angry with someone who showed you respect?

“Anger is designed to change the behavior of someone else. Being respected feels great, so why would we want to change that?”

I have done terrible things during manic and mixed episodes.

I have hurt those who love me, squandered my savings, lost jobs, behaved very poorly, and even attempted suicide.

As episodes ended, the knowledge of what I had done made me feel so alone, so separate from those close to me. Isolated even from strangers. The worse I felt I behaved, the more I felt undesirable. Immoral acts left me feeling as if I had no one.

Mental illness and its associated behaviors can make one feel wrong without equal. A sense that only a very sick person would commit such transgressions can drive one inward and away from those who can help. We often push those who want to help away. Fear of hurting or disappointing others leads to strained and severed relationships.

“I noticed my teenage daughter stuffing her face with potato chips and I just remarked that she’s put on a few pounds lately and should lay off the junk food.”

“After my daughter introduced me to her new boyfriend and asked me what I thought of him, I just quietly replied, ‘I think you could do better.’ Batten down the hatches! The furor that followed lasted for months! Aren’t I allowed to say what I think?”

Yes, you are allowed to say what you think. But know that nothing a parent says is ever neutral. Though you may think you’re making a helpful observation — or simply expressing your opinion — in your child’s eyes (even with adult children), your critique is likely to be interpreted as an indictment of his or her being.

In the emerging field of alternative, holistic health, much of the focus is on the external. Those who want to incorporate good habits into their lives tend to start with nutrition and fitness.

While those areas certainly require attention, if we want to have lasting change, it’s our emotional health which needs to be explored. The challenge is that sometimes we become stuck emotionally — we seem to be treading water with our emotions instead of feeling them fully.

What can you do? Here are 8 ideas for how to become more emotionally unstuck in your life that I hope may help.

1. Sit down with yourself in a quiet place, without distractions.

Schedule the time on your calendar if you have to and keep it sacred. You want to start developing your inner voice. Then you have to listen to it, so that it will be directive and get you “unstuck” as you begin to identify what is going on inside yourself. You will find what is needed for healing and recovery. If you use these tools, you will learn to self-regulate and stay healthy on this journey of life.

There are times when we encounter others who just “rub us the wrong way.” Have there ever been times in your life when others would say or do something that gets “under your skin,” or as I like to say, “pushes your button?” The kind of people that irritate you every time they speak, or certain actions that just leave you feeling like you want to scream and pull your hair out?

Some things or people may not push your buttons that hard. Some just cause you to feel minor irritation, or give you that roll-your-eyes feeling.

Whatever the case, have you wondered why these actions or behaviors push those buttons? Better yet, do you know what those buttons are?

Whether you can be friends with an ex tends to be determined by the two people once involved in the relationship. But as with anything else, there are some expert opinions on the matter.

Susan J. Elliot, author, relationship coach, counselor and speaker/ presenter, wrote an article on the subject that was featured last year on the Huffington Post. Elliot stresses that even after an amicable breakup, it’s extremely difficult to be friends, at least initially. The bond of the couple needs to break and sifting through the emotional aftermath takes time in order to efficiently heal.

“Each needs to deal with the breakup in their own way, apart from the scrutiny of the person they just broke up with,” she said.

“Most people cannot remain friends after a breakup, but if it will ever be, it will be later — much later. The atmosphere immediately following a breakup is too emotionally charged for it to happen right away, if at all.”

“Little things can eventually erode your relationship,” said Christina Steinorth, MFT, a psychotherapist and author of Cue Cards for Life: Thoughtful Tips for Better Relationships.

She likened the damage to water trickling down a stone. A few drips won’t leave a mark. But over time the water “will leave a dent and break that stone.”

Over time how you feel about a pet peeve, or irritating behavior, can build and balloon.

Not washing the dishes becomes you don’t appreciate me. Silly comments in public become you’re disrespecting me.

But there are some simple ways you can deal with these pet peeves before they cause serious damage to your relationship.

Wouldn’t it be great if people went out of their way to appreciate what you did right instead of berating you for what you did wrong? Wouldn’t it be fantastic if people nixed their insults, squelched their criticisms and, instead, supported and encouraged you? Before you interrupt my starry-eyed fantasy, let me enjoy my moment of reverie.

Okay, micro-vacation over. Back to reality, where people blame and criticize all the time — and that’s on their good days! On their bad days, they throw in insults, curses, ridicule and humiliation.

When you’re on the receiving end of such put-downs, how should you respond?

Every relationship has its fair share of fighting and arguing. Even the rosiest of relationships sometimes hit a rough patch. For some people, fighting may …

On Tuesday, January 15, society was met with news that may bring hope to some. But others may encounter problems rather than hope as a result. New York legislators passed a gun control bill requiring mental health therapists who believe their client has the potential to become violent to report to law enforcement that the individual has weapons that need to be confiscated.

As a firm believer in gun control laws and restrictions on violent video games, I am in favor of an in-depth conversation on legislative reform. However, as I read multiple reports on the passing of this new law, I began to question whether this legislative act will actually remedy gun violence. I pondered whether the confiscation of weapons from an individual deemed mentally impaired could lead to more problems than expected.

Severe, untreated mental illness is a complex phenomenon, and dealing with it can be quite a challenge. I have identified three issues that should prompt further consideration before such gun laws are implemented in other states.