I think I’ve followed this strategy myself — not because I cleverly realized it was a good strategy, but because I was stumped, so put aside a question out of sheer desperation.

Here’s his method…

“I have found… that, if I have to write upon some rather difficult topic, the best plan is to think about it with very great intensity — the greatest intensity of which I am capable — for a few hours or days, and at the end of that time give orders, so to speak, that the work is to proceed underground. After some months I return consciously to the topic and find that the work has been done. Before I had discovered this technique, I used to spend the intervening months worrying because I was making no progress; I arrived at the solution none the sooner for this worry, and the intervening months were wasted, whereas now I can devote them to other pursuits.”

I’ve used this when I’ve faced problems with structure. Structure! As a writer, I’m obsessed with structure. Often I have seemingly insurmountable structural problems, and I’ve found — just as Russell suggests–that if I think about it very hard, then ignore the problem and work on other things, the answer eventually presents itself.

This approach is a good example of one of my Secrets of Adulthood: “The quickest way to get from A to be is not to work the hardest.”

How about you?
Have you found that by putting aside a difficult problem, you were able to solve it? Even, perhaps, with just one night of “sleeping on it”?

I’m thrilled to contribute to Quarterly—”a subscription service for wonderful things.” If you subscribe to Quarterly, every three months (quarterly), you get a present in the mail chosen from the person to whom you subscribe. So please consider signing up for my curated gifts! You can also give a Quarterly subscription as a gift, tons of fun (and easy).

A piece of advice I often see is, “Be moderate. Don’t have ice cream every night, but if you try to deny yourself altogether, you’ll fall off the wagon. Allow yourself to have the occasional treat, it will help you stick to your plan.”

I’ve come to believe that this is good advice for some people: the “moderators.” They do better when they try to make moderate changes, when they avoid absolutes and bright lines.

For a long time, I kept trying this strategy of moderation — and failing. Then I read a line from Samuel Johnson, who said, when someone offered him wine: “Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult.”

Ah ha! Like Dr. Johnson, I’m an “abstainer.”

I find it far easier to give something up altogether than to indulge moderately. When I admitted to myself that I was eating my favorite frozen yogurt treat very often, two and even three times a day, I gave it up cold turkey. That was far easier for me to do than to eat it twice a week. If I try to be moderate, I exhaust myself debating, “Today, tomorrow?” “Does this time ‘count’?” etc. If I never do something, it requires no self-control for me; if I do something sometimes, it requires enormous self-control.

There’s no right way or wrong way — it’s just a matter of knowing which strategy works better for you. If moderators try to abstain, they feel trapped and rebellious. If abstainers try to be moderate, they spend a lot of time justifying why they should go ahead and indulge.

However, in my experience, both moderators and abstainers try hard to convert the other team. A nutritionist once told me, “I tell my clients to follow the 80/20 rule. Be healthy 80% of the time, indulge within reason, 20% of the time.” She wouldn’t consider my point of view–that a 100% rule might be easier for someone like me to follow.

People can be surprisingly judgmental about which approach you take. As an abstainer, I often get disapproving comments like, “It’s not healthy to take such a severe approach” or “It would be better to learn how to manage yourself” or “Can’t you let yourself have a little fun?” On the other hand, I hear fellow abstainer-types saying to moderators, “You can’t keep cheating and expect to make progress” or “Why don’t you just go cold turkey?” But different approaches work for different people. (Exception: with an actual addiction, like alcohol or cigarettes, people generally accept that abstaining is the only solution.)

You’re a moderator if you…

• Find that occasional indulgence heightens your pleasure–and strengthens your resolve

• Get panicky at the thought of “never” getting or doing something

You’re an abstainer if you…

• Have trouble stopping something once you’ve started

• Aren’t tempted by things that you’ve decided are off-limits

Now, sometimes instead of trying to give something up, we’re trying to push ourselves to embrace something. Go to the gym, eat vegetables, work on a disagreeable project.

Perhaps this is the flip side of being an abstainer, but I’ve found that if I’m trying to make myself do something, I do better if I do that thing every day. When people ask me advice about keeping a blog, one of my recommendations is, “Post every day, or six days a week.” Weirdly, it’s easier to write a blog every day than it is to write it three or four times a week. I don’t know how moderators feel about this. (Moderators–what do you think? Is it easier to go for a half-hour walk every day, or four times a week, for you?)

Do you identify as an abstainer or a moderator?
Do these categories ring true for you?

When we feel depleted and drained, and when we have no time or energy devoted to the things that give us pleasure, we start to feel exhausted, resentful, and angry. “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”

But it can be surprisingly hard to think of what little treats you want to give yourself. So many pleasures come at a cost: cookies cost calories, movies and books take time and focus, a museum costs the price of a ticket. It’s good to have a list of treats and pleasures that have a very low cost in time, energy, or money.

For instance, I’ve become obsessed with the sense of smell, and I love the fact that a good smell can be enjoyed in an instant, with no cost.

My latest favorite “treat,” which I save for moments when I need a bit of extra comfort or reassurance, is the fragrance “Hay” from CB I Hate Perfume. It’s a warm, sweet, summer smell…of hay. I only put it on as a special treat. (Of course, it did cost me something to buy it, but not much, and never again.)

What small treats and pleasures have you found for yourself? Be honest! Not things that you think you should consider a treat, or what you wish you considered a treat (you may or may not find going for a run to be a treat), but things that you actually do consider a treat. Even if these aren’t particularly estimable.

I want to lengthen my own list.

It seems to be behaving itself now, and I am so happy! I take my word-processer, my email, and my internet access for granted, but when they aren’t available as easily as usual, I realize how much these tools add to my happiness and how much they contribute to my ability to work easily and smoothly.

One of the unhappy truths about human nature is that it’s hard for us to appreciate what we have, until we lose it. When we lose something like electricity or running water, or worse, our health, then it’s clear how mightily such things contribute to happiness and comfort.

In college, a friend told me about the “Lost Wallet Syndrome.” “No matter what’s happening in your life,” he explained, “if you lose your wallet, you think, ‘How happy I would be if I would only find my wallet.’ But then, if you find it, you’re happy for about two minutes, and then you’re right back where you started.”

One of my aims with my happiness project is to appreciate what I have, while I still have it. I don’t want to look back, after some loss or some catastrophe, and think, “How happy I was then, if only I’d realized it.”

I have so much to be grateful for that it seems a bit preposterous that I need to remind myself to be grateful—but I do. When things are taking their ordinary course, it’s so easy to take everyday life for granted.

Every time I sit down at my computer, I think, “How happy I am to be back at my computer, doing the work I love.” Now I’ve added a second part, “How happy I am to be at my computer, doing the work I love, on a computer that’s working properly.”

Do you find it hard to remember to appreciate the basics? What strategies do you use to keep yourself in a grateful frame of mind?

Somehow, I’d never come across Google’s Ten things we know to be true manifesto, and I found it very interesting.

The Google site explains, “We first wrote these 10 things when Google was just a few years old. From time to time we revisit this list to see if it still holds true. We hope it does — and you can hold us to that.”

Focus on the user and all else will follow.

It’s best to do one thing really, really well.

Fast is better than slow.

Democracy on the web works.

You don’t need to be at your desk to need an answer.

You can make money without doing evil.

There’s always more information out there.

The need for information crosses all borders.

You can be serious without a suit.

Great just isn’t good enough.

Very thought-provoking. Though people might disagree about whether Google lives up to its manifesto, it’s nevertheless interesting to use it as a starting-point for discussion.

A few years ago, I wrote my own Happiness Manifesto, though I should probably re-visit it to see if I want to revise it.

Have you written a manifesto, a personal mission statement, or the like? What did you include? I think these kinds of exercises are very helpful, for gaining greater self-knowledge and identifying personal values.

My friend Neil Pasricha, of the fabulous blog 1000 Awesome Things and bestselling book, The Book of Awesome, is counting down (you guessed it) 1000 awesome things, and tomorrow is #1! I’m very excited that he’s completed his project, very curious to see what he’ll do next, and a little sorry that I won’t be able to read any more entries after tomorrow. You can check out his TED talk here.

As I read, I realized that much of his advice could be flipped on its head, to help people resist buying. So often, we operate on habit and impulse; by recognizing the subtle factors that promote shopping, we can turn that information to our advantage, if we’re trying to shop wisely.

Many of these tips are very obvious, but as one of my Secrets of Adulthood holds: It’s very important, and surprisingly difficult, to grasp the obvious.

1. Don’t take a basket or cart. People who shop with a basket buy much more than those who don’t use a basket.

2. Don’t linger. How much time you spend in a store is one of the most important factors in determining how much you’ll buy.

3. If you’re a woman, shop with a man. A woman will spend less time in a store when she’s with a man than when she’s by herself, with another woman, or with children.

4. Don’t touch or taste. A lot of impulse buys are triggered by some tactile experience.

5. Be on your guard near the register. Lots of impulse purchases are there to tempt you.

As an under-buyer, I actually have to force myself to buy, so I will use these tips in the reverse — except #5. Under-buyer or over-buyer, no one needs to buy those gimcrack by the register.

How about you?
Have you found any good strategies to help yourself resist buying, when you don’t want to buy?

Recently, I posted 5 myths for fighting the blues. Okay, those don’t work very well. So what does?

One suggestion: find a “comfort food” for your mind. Know what you can do with your brain that will give yourself a comforting break from your worries, at least for a little while. By doing so, you’ll re-charge your battery, find it easier to stay calm and cheerful, find it easier to take action to remedy your situation — and you’ll sleep better.

But this is often easier said than done.

We all suffer from “negativity bias,” that is, we react to the bad more strongly and persistently than to the comparable good. (What do you remember better, a compliment or a criticism?) Research shows one consequence of negativity bias is that when people’s thoughts wander, they tend to begin to brood. Anxious or angry thoughts capture our attention more effectively than happier thoughts.

So if you’re feeling blue, look for ways to pull your mind away from your worries onto positive topics. One great way is to watch a movie—not something upsetting!—or a favorite TV show. Don’t muddy the experience by trying to multi-task; if you’re paying bills or folding laundry, you’re not going to get the benefit of taking a break from your own thoughts to watch Shrek. Give yourself a proper vacation: sit down and enjoy what you’re doing.

My favorite activity is reading, and when I really need “comfort food” for my mind, I read children’s literature. I always re-read, too; when I’m upset, I want the comfort of knowing that I’ll love the book and that I won’t be upset by some unexpected plot twist. (For instance, I can’t bear any plot that includes unjust accusation. You wouldn’t believe how often unjust accusation pops up in books, movies, plays, and TV.) Just this weekend, I re-read Philip Pullman’s masterpiece, The Golden Compass, for the tenth or eleventh time, and it made me so happy.

I do find that some activities that are usually happiness-inducing don’t work very well when I’m preoccupied with bad thoughts. Listening to music, for example, is generally an extremely effective way to boost mood, but I find it too easy to start thinking about my worries when I’m listening; others might not have this problem. Similarly, although going for a walk usually cheers me up, it also gives me an excellent opportunity to brood if I’m in a brooding mood.

Cooking, cleaning, playing with your kids, playing video games, playing basketball — different people find different solutions. If you can find an activity that gives you exercise, gets you outside, or brings you in contact with other people, that’s especially effective.

So if you’re feeling overwhelmed, give yourself some mental comfort food. By giving yourself a break and a bit of comfort, you’ll make yourself feel better, and you’ll also equip yourself to deal more effectively with tough situations.

What mental comfort food works for you?
Share in the comments section your own tips.

I’m working on my Happiness Project, and you could have one, too! Everyone’s project will look different, but it’s the rare person who can’t benefit. Join in—no need to catch up, just jump in right now. Each Friday’s post will help you think about your own happiness project.

A thoughtful reader sent me a link to Shaun Usher’s fantastic site, Lists of Note. Warning: highly addictive!

Do you love great quotes? To get a happiness quotation in your email inbox every morning, sign up for the Moment of Happiness. Subscribe here.

Just off the top of my head, I can think of moments like this from Gilead, The Wire, Friends, Steel Magnolias, the play Bug which has haunted me for years…such moments are the principal subject of Flannery O’Connor.

I also look for them in real life.

For instance, a few weeks ago, I was talking to a bunch of first-year medical students about happiness — mostly, I was pestering them to get enough sleep. At one point, an older doctor jumped into the conversation. “Remember,” he said to them earnestly, “you’re going to be doctors. That work is really going to bring you a lot of happiness.”

This comment lifted the conversation to a new level. Not that I think everyone should be a doctor, but it’s true: being a doctor is a rare privilege. To be able to help heal people, and to relieve pain.

This moment reminded me of other times when I felt a moment of transcendence related to people’s work. For instance, the way I felt the first time I saw Justice O’Connor wearing her judicial robes. Justice O’Connor is very friendly and kind, but she’s a formidable person even at her most casual. Even so, when I saw her wearing those robes, I saw her transformed; I think I actually took a step backward. To be charged to do justice is a very solemn thing, and seeing her in her robes conveyed that point, more powerfully than you might expect.

And I remember when I stopped by the studio of a friend who is a brilliant painter. His studio was everything you’d imagine: skylight, canvases everywhere, plaster models, coffee cans filled with brushes, all of it.

“Wait, I just have to finish one thing,” he told me, and he added a few more strokes of paint to a landscape he was working on.

I looked around at everything, so beautiful. “Jacob, you are lucky,” I said, in a fierce voice.

“I know,” he said. “I know.”

In the rush of our daily routines, it’s so easy to miss moments of transcendence. In art, they are masterfully presented, with language and emphasis that set them apart like jewels. In ordinary life, they rush by. I try to remind myself to look for them every day.

How about you?
How do you remind yourself to look for moments of transcendence in the midst of everyday life?

I’m working on my Happiness Project, and you could have one, too! Everyone’s project will look different, but it’s the rare person who can’t benefit. Join in — no need to catch up, just jump in right now.

A thoughtful reader sent me the link to Young House Love by Sherry Petersik and John Petersik, because The Happiness Project got a lovely mention in the most recent post. I went to check it out, and spent waaaaay too much time there.

It turns out, however, that several popular strategies don’t actually work very well in the long term. Beware if you’re tempted to try any of the following (all of which I often, and unsuccessfully, have tried)…

1. Comforting yourself with a “treat.”

Often, the things we choose as “treats” aren’t good for us. The pleasure lasts a minute, but then feelings of guilt, loss of control, and other negative consequences just deepen the lousiness of the day. So when you find yourself thinking, “I’ll feel better after I have a few beers… a pint of ice cream… a cigarette… a new pair of jeans,” ask yourself — will it really make you feel better? It might make you feel worse. In particular, beware of…

2. Letting yourself off the hook.

I’ve found that I sometimes get a real happiness boost from giving something up, quitting something, or breaking a bad habit. When you’re feeling down, you might be tempted to let yourself off the hook, to think, “I’ll allow myself to skip my run today, I need a break” or “I’m not going to put away the dirty dishes, I deserve a day off.” In fact, sticking to a resolution will boost your sense of self-esteem and self-control. So not letting yourself off the hook might do more to boost your happiness.

3. Turning off your phone.

Studies show that extroverts and introverts alike get a mood boost from connecting with other people. Although it can be tempting to isolate yourself when you’re feeling unhappy, you’re better off making pleasant plans with friends or family. Restorative solitude can boost happiness, but that’s not the same thing as shutting yourself away from other people because you don’t feel like dealing.

4. Aggressively expressing your negative emotions.

Many people believe in the “catharsis hypothesis” and think that vociferously expressing anger is healthy-minded and relieves their feelings. Not so. Studies show that expressing anger often only aggravates it; as Plutarch observed, “Anger, while in its beginning, often can be ended by silence, or neglect.” I’ve certainly found this to be true; once I get going, I can whip myself into a fury. Once I’m in a more composed state of mind, I can express my reasons for anger, resentment, or other concerns in a straightforward, calm way, which is far more constructive.

5. Staying in your pajamas all day.

One of the most helpful things I’ve learned in my happiness research is that although we think that we act because of the way we feel, in fact, we often feel because of the way we act. As improbable as this sounds, it really works. Sometimes it can be fun to hang out in your sweats all day, but if you’re feeling lethargic, powerless, or directionless, not getting dressed may make you feel worse. Put on your clothes — including your shoes — so you feel prepared for whatever the day might offer. While you’re at it, make your bed. Yes, making your bed, as insignificant as it seems, can give a real happiness boost.

Have you ever tried to cheer yourself up using a strategy that just made you feel worse, in the end?
Or what are more effective ways to beat the blues?

If you enjoy checking out the latest scientific research, Science Daily is a great place to look.

As a long-time reader of John’s work, I knew that he and I are interested in many of the same subjects, so I was curious to hear what he had to say on the subject of happiness.

Gretchen: What’s a simple activity that consistently makes you happier?

John: Exercising, which I do by commuting by bike from Brooklyn to Manhattan. Crossing the East River is especially joyful, but just getting outside and moving is enough to raise my spirits.

What’s something you know now about happiness that you didn’t know when you were 18 years old?

How much joy you get from doing things for your children — and doing things for other people, too.

Is there anything you find yourself doing repeatedly that gets in the way of your happiness?

Surfing the Web. I’ve tried to cut back by using some of the techniques we describe in the book. I use RescueTime software that keeps track of how I spend my computer time. It doesn’t actually stop me from doing it, but it does discourage me because I know I’ll get a report emailed to me detailing exactly how much time I wasted.

Is there a happiness mantra or motto that you’ve found very helpful? (I remind myself to “Be Gretchen.”)

Years ago, when I was researching an article on research into stress, one social scientist passed on a simple tip: “At some point every day, you have to say, ‘No more work.’” No matter how many tasks remain undone, you have to relax at some point and enjoy the evening.

If you’re feeling blue, how do you give yourself a happiness boost?

I play one turn of “Wordfeud” (a Scrabble-like game) with my wife. (We keep a game going on our smartphones.) If I have more time available, I’ll read a chapter in whatever novel I’ve got on my Kindle.

Is there anything that you see people around you doing or saying that adds a lot to their happiness, or detracts a lot from their happiness?

I see a couple of things that consistently interfere with happiness. One is dieting. In the book we devote a chapter to strategies for controlling weight, but we advise against dieting, and we don’t think people should beat themselves up for not being thin enough. People often think of controlling weight as the prime example of strong willpower, but it’s actually not.

Self-control correlates with success in just about every other endeavor in life: doing better in school and at work, being healthier and wealthier and happier, having more satisfying personal relationships.

But the correlation between self-control and weight-control isn’t nearly so strong — it’s there, but it’s much weaker. We call it the Oprah Paradox: someone with phenomenal willpower in the rest of her life can still have a hard time losing weight.

There are tricks for dealing with the temptations of food — for outsourcing self-control, as we call it — but just because you’re not thin doesn’t mean you have no willpower.

Another thing that consistently interferes with happiness is procrastination, a universal vice that that I know very well. I’ve been a terribly disorganized procrastinator my whole life. I always turned in papers and articles and columns at the last minute or later. Every weekend there was an overdue project bothering me.

But to my amazement, Roy and I turned in this manuscript for Willpower two months ahead of the deadline by using the strategies and principles in the book. I learned to make doable to-do lists and found new ways to keep track of progress (and use tools to do the monitoring for me — much easier!). In the book, we describe the state of bliss that Drew Carey attained by “getting to zero” — clearing his desk and his In-Box — and I went through the same experience myself. It really does free your mind for happiness and creativity.

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Here are a few very simple suggestions. These aren’t the most profound things you can do to make your home feel more serene and organized, but they’re steps you can take fairly quickly.

Click through to read my 9 quick tips to help you feel less overwhelmed and more organized.

1. Be wary of bargains, sales, hand-me-downs and give-away. Do you really need this thing? Or love it? Beware: because of the “endowment effect,” we value things more once we own them. Once that thing enters your home, it will be tough to get it out again.

2. Never label anything “Miscellaneous.”
3. Remember: most decisions don’t require extensive research. Aim to be a satificer, not a maximizer.
4. Don’t let yourself fall into “empty.” Keep cash in the house. Keep gas in your tank. Keep an extra roll of toilet paper squirreled away. Keep your phone charged.
5. Don’t keep excessive amounts of anything. Those glass vases that come from florists. Those ketchup packets that come with take-out food. A house with two adults probably doesn’t need fifteen mismatched souvenir coffee cups.
6. Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. Lower the bar. Actually spending ten minutes clearing off one shelf is better than fantasizing about spending a weekend cleaning out the basement.
7. Clean while you cook (literally and metaphorically).
8. Put things away in a specific place. It’s much easier to find things later, and it’s oddly satisfying to slot things into their precise places. “Ah, this particular basket on this shelf is the place for the AAA batteries.”
9. Make your bed. I know it sounds trivial, but it’s a bigger happiness booster than you’d expect.

Hey everyone: a New York City-based production company is looking for people who’ve been inspired to start their own Happiness Projects—and who want to share their stories. Does this describe you? Do you live in the greater NYC/tri-state area? Could you spend a few hours filming, at a convenient time?

If so, email a brief description of yourself, your Happiness Project, and how your life has changed as a result to THNKcasting@radicalmedia.com.

For instance, you feel better about yourself when you keep a difficult resolution, meet a challenge, solve a problem, learn a skill, or cross something unpleasant off your to-do list. And one of the best ways to feel better about yourself is to help someone else. Do good, feel good.

I had a friend who went through a period of tremendous rejection: she was fired from her job, she didn’t get into the graduate program to which she’d applied, and her boyfriend broke up with her. Everything worked out fine, and I asked her how she got through such a tough time. She said, “I was practically addicted to doing good deeds for other people. It was the only way I could make myself feel like I wasn’t a total loser.”

I recently performed a very small good deed that gave me a boost: I threw away someone else’s trash. I’ve always been careful to throw away my own litter, but it never occurred to me to do anything about random litter lying around.

The other day, though, I was in the subway, where an empty Snapple bottle was rolling around to the great annoyance of everyone in the car. The bottle rolled back and forth, back and forth, and I thought, “Someone should pick that up.” Then I thought — “Someone like me! Why shouldn’t I be the one to pick it up?”

So I did. I was astonished by the surge of good feeling I got, quite disproportionate to such a minor action.

Since then, I’ve looked for chances to throw away other people’s trash. Newspapers strewn across seats in the airport, candy wrappers on the sidewalk, that kind of thing.

“Do good, feel good” is a happiness truism that really is true. Act like a considerate citizen of the world, and you’ll also boost your self-esteem. How about you? Have you felt a boost in your feelings of self-worth after doing something worthwhile?

I’m working on my Happiness Project, and you could have one, too! Everyone’s project will look different, but it’s the rare person who can’t benefit. Join in — no need to catch up, just jump in right now.

I got a kick out of this video of a barista making animals out of foam. I know, but hey, it’s Friday afternoon.

Buddhism has many numbered lists, such as the Triple Refuge, the Noble Eightfold Path, the Four Noble Truths. This is a little bit surprising to me, given Buddhism’s emphasis on gateless gates and transcending the bounds of rational thinking.

There’s a koan to be written about that paradox, for sure. Let’s see… how about, “Use numbers to throw away enumeration.”

I particularly love Buddhism’s eight auspicious symbols:

1. Parasol

2. Golden fish

3. Treasure vase

4. Lotus

5. Conch shell

6. Endless knot

7. Victory banner

8. Wheel of Dharma

I made up a list of my eight auspicious symbols:

1. Bluebird (of course)

2. Ruby slippers (what I want is already within my grasp)

3. Dice (chance and fortune)

4. Blood. (hard to explain: diabetes, hepatitis C, St. Therese of Lisieux)

5. Gold star (my right actions are their own reward)

6. Holstein cow (my family, Kansas City)

7. Peacock feather (symbols beyond words)

8. Birdhouse (for reasons soon to be revealed!)

This is so satisfying, I could keep going with more symbols.

How about you?
What would you choose for your auspicious symbols, and why?

What interests me about Andy Warhol is that he makes seemingly obvious observations in very simple language — and yet, upon reflection, I often realize that he has managed to articulate something very subtle. As one of my Secrets of Adulthood holds:

It’s very important, and surprisingly difficult, to grasp the obvious.

For instance, I read this passage from The Philosophy of Andy Warhol: (From A to B and Back Again) several weeks ago, and while it didn’t particularly grab my attention while I was reading it, I find my thoughts repeatedly returning to it. The more I think about this observation, the more profound it becomes.

Andy Warhol wrote:

When I think about what sort of person I would most like to have on a retainer, I think it would be a boss. A boss who could tell me what to do, because that makes everything easy when you’re working.

That’s it, I keep thinking. That’s it! I wish I could have a boss on retainer. (Note Warhol’s nuance of having a boss “on retainer.”)

As the boss of myself, I often wish I had someone to set my priorities, to give me assignments to start and finish, and to tell me how to improve—or better yet, to give me some gold stars.

Telling myself what to do, and then doing what I have to do… it’s challenging. Self-command isn’t easy.

How about you? Do you ever wish you had a boss on retainer? Even if you already have a permanent, real boss.

If you’re interested in writing, check out the blog Jeff Goins Writer. Lots to read and think about there.

Want to get my free monthly newsletter? February’s newsletter is going to feature a big reveal! (well, it seems big to me.) It highlights the best of the month’s material from the blog and the Facebook Page. Sign up here or email me at gretchenrubin1@gretchenrubin.com.

That’s a very important question. Since I’ve started my Happiness Project, I’ve become more and more convinced that sleep is vital to happiness and energy. (Here are fourteen tips on getting more sleep.)

If you want to get more sleep, but have a hard time getting yourself to turn out the light, try these strategies…

1. First things first: give yourself a specific bedtime.

Most adults need 7-9 hours of sleep every night, so take a look at your wake-up time, and do the math. Even if you don’t regularly go to bed at your bedtime, knowing, “Well, it’s midnight, so I’m two hours past my bedtime” might help prod you to bed.

2. Don’t wait until you feel sleepy to think “Hey, maybe it’s about time for bed.”

It’s all too easy to keep yourself alert and busy way past the time that you should be asleep. If you insist that you’re quite wide awake at 1:00 a.m., test yourself: sit in a dim room with your head back for five minutes. How does it feel? Are you still wide awake? Along those lines…

3. Stay away from the internet for at least an hour before your bedtime.

Television, too, but I think the internet is even more apt to make me feel artificially wide awake. I used to try to go through my emails one last time before bed, to get a jump on the morning, but I realized that this stimulating activity made it much harder to go to sleep.

4. Don’t drink caffeine for several hours before your bedtime..

5. Remind yourself how great it feels to wake up naturally, before the alarm goes off, without that sickening jolt into wakefulness.

Then, when you’re surfing the internet at 11:30 p.m., ask yourself, “Am I making a good trade-off?” I was recently talking to a group of medical students, and one guy protested, “But if I go to bed at 11:00, I won’t have time to watch some TV before bed.” I asked, “Is watching that block of TV so fun that it outweighs the pleasure of getting enough sleep?” (I don’t know what he decided.)

6. Get ready before bed well ahead of time.

I realized that, perversely, I often put off going to bed because I was too tired to take out my contacts, brush my teeth, and get changed. Now I get ready earlier in the evening. Side benefit: once I do these things, I’m less likely to head to the kitchen for a snack. On a related note…

7. Create a bedtime ritual, and do it at the same time every night.

Maybe you fix yourself a cup of herbal tea, maybe you read in bed, maybe you do an evening tidy-up. By doing the same thing every night, you will cue yourself to start heading to bed.

One bit of folk wisdom that I heard when I had very young children was that “Sleep begets sleep.” I found that to be true of my children, and also of myself. I sleep better when I’m well-rested than when I’m over-tired.

How about you?
Have you found any effective strategies for coaxing yourself to bed on time?

There’s a lot of terrific material about fitness, health, and happiness on Greatist—”choose better, be a greatist.”