World of Psychology » Brandi-Ann Uyemura, M.A. http://psychcentral.com/blog Dr. John Grohol's daily update on all things in psychology and mental health. Since 1999. Fri, 17 May 2013 22:22:46 +0000 en-US hourly 1 Best of Our Blogs: May 17, 2013 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/05/17/best-of-our-blogs-may-17-2013/ http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/05/17/best-of-our-blogs-may-17-2013/#comments Fri, 17 May 2013 10:30:23 +0000 Brandi-Ann Uyemura, M.A. http://psychcentral.com/blog/?p=45528 You might be surprise to know what colors your world isn’t just the things that happen to you, your genes, the family that you have or your upbringing. Those factors have a big role in shaping you. An illness can slow you down. A difficult environment can change the way you see the world. And your genetics can put you at risk for disease and illness that’s not an issue for your friend or neighbor.

While those things are a real downer, you can think of it like the weather. They force you to bring a raincoat, a sweater or an umbrella to prepare. They temporarily direct your path. But it doesn’t have to ruin your life.

You can choose to allow addiction, illness, depression, or other difficulty to leave you permanently defeated. After all, there is legitimate reason for you to fall down when the going gets tough. But whether you get up after you fall is more an indication of your own attitude, strength and resilience than the obstacles that flood your path. As you’ll find out below, with knowledge and awareness comes responsibility. You can choose to allow life’s challenges to consume you or you can choose to not be overwhelmed by them. It’s a choice that will dictate the rest of your life so make sure you choose wisely.

{Flickr photo by Malingering}

Does Addiction Run in Your Family? How to Talk to Your Kids About Their Risk
(Addiction Recovery) – Yes genetics increases the likelihood that your children will become addicts themselves. But you can stop the domino effect by reading this. Learn what you can do to help safeguard your kids against addiction.

What Depression Is & What It Is Not
(Caregivers, Family & Friends) – Depression isn’t always easily identifiable. That’s because symptoms look different in certain groups like kids and men. Here are a few ways to help determine if you or your loved one is depressed.

Watering the Seeds of Depression, Watering the Seeds of Resiliency
(Mindfulness & Psychotherapy) – Tired of your inner critic beating you down? Here’s why that negative voice might actually be trying to help you and find out how you might be able to cure it with kindness.

Strengths + Passion = Happiness
(Character Strengths) – Want more happiness? Multiply your joy by discovering what your strengths are and incorporating them at work. Find out how here.

Don’t Judge Me Until You’ve Walked A Mile In My Shoes
(ADHD Man of Distraction) – Before you walk down the road of judgment, learn what it’s really like to have ADHD.

]]>
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/05/17/best-of-our-blogs-may-17-2013/feed/ 0
Best of Our Blogs: May 14, 2013 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/05/14/best-of-our-blogs-june-14-2013/ http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/05/14/best-of-our-blogs-june-14-2013/#comments Tue, 14 May 2013 10:30:29 +0000 Brandi-Ann Uyemura, M.A. http://psychcentral.com/blog/?p=45406 When things are going well, the rocks and pebbles that traverse your path seem like temporary and tolerable roadblocks. But throw in a sleepless night, conflict with a loved one and an illness, and any minor issue as tiny as a grain of sand can feel as painful as a shard of glass.

On days like these, it’s best not to exacerbate the situation. If possible, finding ways to baby yourself the way you would a sick child will soothe the parts of you that feels wounded. Rest, support, compassion can all help to heal what ails you in this moment. Make it a priority to take care of yourself and you’ll be better able to meet any future challenges that come your way.

This week you may still be recovering from Mother’s Day. Scroll down below to read how you can heal not just from growing up with an emotionally unavailable mother, but from a difficult past. There’s also tips on how to be comfortable with being yourself and ways to give back to a deserving mom in your life. This mix of healing posts should help you through any rough day you’re having right now.

{Flickr photo by Randy Cox}

Wounds of Childhood: Three Understandings to Facilitate Healing of Past Wounds in the Present
(Neuroscience & Relationships) – You may have had a difficult, traumatic childhood. But here’s hope that you can heal the wounds of your past.

Mother’s Day For The Momless (Narcissistic Mother)
(Therapy Soup) – Mother’s Day isn’t the greeting card holiday commercials make them out to be. This is especially the case for those who grew up motherless. Arguably one of the worst of these is having a mother who is narcissistic. If that sounds like you, read how you can mother yourself this holiday.

Chronic Pain and Narcotic Use
(Living With Chronic Pain) – Have you ever felt judged by your pain management doctor? This blogger shares your pain. Read what it’s really like managing chronic pain and the judgmental looks from those who are supposed to help heal you.

Putting Yourself Out There: My Tricks for Gaining Self-Assurance
(The Impact of Sex Addiction) – One of the challenges addicts face is feeling comfortable with being themselves. How do you put yourself out in the world in a more authentic way? Here are four strategies to help you appreciate your genuine self.

Happy Mother’s Day To Moms Who Put Themselves Second
(Caregivers, Family & Friends) – Mother’s Day is long gone. But you can still show your appreciation for a mother you treasure in your own life. Here are a few thoughtful ideas.

]]>
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/05/14/best-of-our-blogs-june-14-2013/feed/ 0
Best of Our Blogs: May 10, 2013 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/05/10/best-of-our-blogs-may-10-2013/ http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/05/10/best-of-our-blogs-may-10-2013/#comments Fri, 10 May 2013 10:30:36 +0000 Brandi-Ann Uyemura, M.A. http://psychcentral.com/blog/?p=45240 We all want to feel better. We all want and need to feel loved. What gets in the way of true happiness isn’t desire. Most often we don’t know the path to take us there.

I know people who relentlessly sabotage their happiness. Maybe it’s because they’ve grown accustomed to being disappointed. Maybe it’s because they believe they don’t deserve it. Maybe it’s because what they know, no matter how bad, seems better than what they don’t know. But mostly it’s because of fear.

Maybe the bridge to take you where you want to go is filled with challenges and you’re scared too. Perhaps seeing a therapist would help you with managing the insurmountable problems you’re dealing with. Or your biggest challenge is caring for someone will an illness and you don’t know how to cope.  Maybe what you need is support, information and hope that you can overcome whatever you’re enduring currently. Although it’s scary to confront those obstacles in your path, once defeated, the road seems a lot less overwhelming and intimidating. We hope these posts will help you through whatever you’re going through.

{Flickr photo by Ryan Schultz}

What Makes a Good Therapist?
(Bonding Time) – This is a question all therapists should ask themselves. It’s a reminder that while there are no perfect therapists, it’s important to always work on being better. Find out what’s key in evaluating yourself.

Psychotic Disorders: Differences & Ways To Cope
(Caregivers, Family & Friends) – Being a caregiver is not easy. In order to take care of the ones you love, you need the right tools to help you cope. Here are specific ways you can help a loved one manage episodes of delusions and/or hallucinations.

Sex Addicts are Codependents Too
(The Impact of Sex Addiction) – Sex addicts deal with more than just the obvious relationship issues. This explains how deep the roots of relational trauma go. Read it to understand yourself or someone you love with codependent issues and/or sexual addiction better.

Aren’t All Creative People Multitalented?
(The Creative Mind) – Are you creative? If so, you’re probably good at a variety of things. Find out who shares your creative gifts.

Thoughts On Amanda Berry’s Amazing Rescue
(Therapy Soup) – It’s difficult to make sense of trauma. This post attempts to understand some of the reasons behind capture bonding and extreme co-dependency.

]]>
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/05/10/best-of-our-blogs-may-10-2013/feed/ 0
Best of Our Blogs: May 7, 2013 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/05/07/best-of-our-blogs-may-7-2013/ http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/05/07/best-of-our-blogs-may-7-2013/#comments Tue, 07 May 2013 10:30:19 +0000 Brandi-Ann Uyemura, M.A. http://psychcentral.com/blog/?p=45097 It’s easy to cross over from stressed to overwhelmed especially if you’ve been recently diagnosed with an illness. What once may have caused you worry, now seems superficial.

Welcome to the club! While it can seem like a scary process to navigate where you were to where you are now, you are not alone. It’s what many of our bloggers deal with every day. Although it’s difficult to deal with the unknown and grasp the idea of being different or not “normal,” there is a silver lining. Many people who have been diagnosed with mental illness have happy lives. Also, they are often more compassionate, resilient, and grateful for the life they have. The key is to find like-minded individuals, be kind to yourself and focus on the areas of your life that’s working.

As you’ll read this week, there are positives to being different. We hope you don’t just accept it, but celebrate it. Need help embracing your uniqueness? Scroll down below. You’ll find more reasons to celebrate here.

{Etsy print by DawnAliceDesigns}

Mental Health Awareness Month Video PSA
(Be the Change) – In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, Dani discusses the impact mental illness and stigma have on individuals, families and society as a whole. Spread awareness with this informative, powerful and relevant video.

National Institute of Mental Health Takes on the DSM
(The Impact of Sex Addiction) – Has the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) solved any problems existing in the current DSM? Dr. Linda Hatch reviews some of the changes.

Creativity and Highly Sensitive Men
(The Creative Mind) – Highly sensitive men may find it difficult to feel accepted in society. But there are a lot of positives that come with the territory. Learn how men respond by coping with, embracing or accepting their highly sensitive personalities.

Ditching Dieting: Celebrate International No Diet Day!
(Weightless) – In celebration of International No Diet Day (INDD), Margarita doles out the facts about dieting.  You’ll also get creative ways you can celebrate this important day.

My antidepressants: What’s up with generics?
(Depression On My Mind) – Maybe brand names do matter. Have you found that the generic version of name brand antidepressants don’t work nearly as well? Chime in here.

]]>
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/05/07/best-of-our-blogs-may-7-2013/feed/ 0
Best of Our Blogs: May 3, 2013 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/05/03/best-of-our-blogs-may-3-2013/ http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/05/03/best-of-our-blogs-may-3-2013/#comments Fri, 03 May 2013 10:30:44 +0000 Brandi-Ann Uyemura, M.A. http://psychcentral.com/blog/?p=44982 In the presence of a friend or relative who is habitually negative, I freeze up. I grapple with being compassionate without letting them indulge in self-pity. Responding with sympathetic statements can sometimes increase a need to glorify doom and gloom stories. At the same time, I understand the desire to dump blame and negativity on others. It feels like a release. It feels like someone cares when their listening. But I also realize it’s not my responsibility to take care of everyone’s needs.

Instead of trying to change or take on their problems for them, I try to work on myself. I remember what it’s like to feel hopeless, insecure, scared and alone. I use that compassion I have for others and turn it on myself. It helps me be kind, understanding and patient, but within my own boundaries. I know the best thing I can do is to live my life as a testament to hope, courage and positivity. It’s a hard thing to learn, but we’re just not capable of changing or curing everyone else.

But there are things we can do. If you’re struggling with negativity, this week’s posts will lift you up. You’ll learn how to turn a negative self-image into a more positive one through gratitude, self-love and self-acceptance. You’ll also learn what to say if you feel tongue-tied like me when faced with someone suffering pain on a regular basis or develop compassion for those suffering from depression. It’s a blurry line between loving others and loving yourself. But the important thing to remember is you can only be as helpful, kind and caring to others when you first take care of yourself.

{Flickr photo by Kate Ware}

The Power Of Being An Introvert
(The Gentle Self) – If you’re introverted, you may feel like something’s wrong with you or wish you were more outgoing. This post will help you appreciate being an introvert. Read what strengths, gifts and achievements come with the territory.

27 Things People With A Positive Body Image Know
(Weightless) – Feel like you don’t deserve joy, love or happiness because you’re not thin? Give your body image a boost with these positive ways to uplift yourself.

Make Gratitude a Practice, Really
(Mindfulness & Psychotherapy) – One way to quickly shift your negative mood is to practice gratitude. Learn how to be more thankful with this quick and easy exercise that will make you feel better now.

Helpful Things TO Say to Someone in Chronic Pain
(Living With Chronic Pain) – It’s difficult to know what to say to someone suffering from chronic pain. If you’re at a loss for words, this should help.

Depression sucks. Period. Exclamation point.
(Depression On My Mind) – What’s it like living with depression? This blogger bravely shares the debilitating details of a day in the life of someone who is depressed.

]]>
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/05/03/best-of-our-blogs-may-3-2013/feed/ 2
Best of Our Blogs: April 30, 2013 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/04/30/best-of-our-blogs-april-30-2013/ http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/04/30/best-of-our-blogs-april-30-2013/#comments Tue, 30 Apr 2013 10:30:44 +0000 Brandi-Ann Uyemura, M.A. http://psychcentral.com/blog/?p=44889 Labels can haunt you forever. What makes them particularly insidious is how unaware most of us are to its debilitating affects.

A diagnosis from a doctor, for example, can render you helpless. For some, it can be a death sentence.

Thoughtless words from an insensitive relative or a classmate can be hard to forget even years after the words were spoken.

Unlike the wounds that heal when physically hit, seemingly innocuous words from others, can last a lifetime.

How do you prevent words from doing more harm to you?

This week our top posts addresses some of these issues. One way is by refusing to accept insults thrown at you and focus instead on finding where they are coming from. Maybe someone made you feel bad about your weight, being single, or put you down in front of others. Instead of taking those words in, think about who’s throwing them at you. Is it the result of an old way of thinking, a negative and incorrect belief propelled by society, or an unjust boss? Knowing where these hurtful labels came from can help you to take matters into your own hands. You don’t have to absorb the hurt and pain sent from insensitive people. As you’ll read below, what you do with what others say to you is your choice.

{Flickr photo by Karina}

What’s the Impact of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM5)?
(Mental Health Humor) – Just in time for its arrival, Chato B. Stewart shares his visual interpretation regarding the aftermath of the new DSM5.

Parental Influence – It Matters More Than You Think, Part 2
(Family Mental Health) – You might think that when it comes to academics, exercise and sex, you have no influence over your children. According to this, you do.

Suicide: Is It Less about Mental Health Than Integration into Society?
(Single at Heart) – Does suicide have to do with fitting in with society? And does being married have anything to do with it? This blogger addresses an old and interesting theory on suicide that brings the importance of social belonging to light.

What To Do When You Fear Weight Gain Or Do Gain Weight
(Weightless) – Scared of gaining weight? It’s no wonder with society blurring the lines between worthiness and weight. Find out how you can mitigate the negative effects of societal pressures to be thin.

Assertiveness for Beginners
(Bonding Time) – Your boss just said something demeaning to you in front of others. What should you do? This post discusses if and when you should say something and how to appropriately respond.

]]>
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/04/30/best-of-our-blogs-april-30-2013/feed/ 0
Best of Our Blogs: April 26, 2013 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/04/26/best-of-our-blogs-april-26-2013/ http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/04/26/best-of-our-blogs-april-26-2013/#comments Fri, 26 Apr 2013 10:30:02 +0000 Brandi-Ann Uyemura, M.A. http://psychcentral.com/blog/?p=44706 Have you or someone you loved been recently diagnosed with a physical or mental illness? Aside from the initial shock, most of us feel both relief and anxiety. It’s validating to finally know what’s wrong, yet what’s next is uncertain. How do you cope when you’ve been recently diagnosed?

It’s difficult to stay hopeful when there is still so much you need to know. Give yourself time to grieve over your compromised health. Surround yourself with supportive, understanding and loving people. And be cognizant of what you can do. Taking care of yourself is of the utmost importance.

This week you’ll learn how to integrate more moments of self-care in your life, which will help regardless of your diagnosis. Scroll down below and feel more at peace with a short meditation practice, understand why what people say can really hurt you and learn ways to cope with your negative inner thoughts.

{Flickr photo by Kukhahn Yoga}

What NOT to Say to Someone in Chronic Pain
(Living With Chronic Pain) – It’s normal to feel vulnerable when you’re suffering from chronic pain. There’s the fear of being stigmatized, judged, or criticized for what you no longer can do. It’s even worse when those you love say these unintentional, but hurtful things to you.

Parental Influence – It Matters More Than You May Think
(Family Mental Health) – Feel like your words are falling on inattentive ears? Think again. Why what you say does matter to your kids.

Beer, Gatorade and Dopamine: How the alcoholic brain works
(Depression On My Mind) – How accurate is a study on the taste of beer’s effects (minus the alcohol) on dopamine? This blogger ponders what roles memories and psychology have on the results. Read her thoughts here.

Dangers of Assigning Meaning To Thoughts
(Be the Change) – Without awareness, you might find yourself giving more power to your thoughts than you should. Watch this video to learn how to effectively cope with them so they don’t take over your life.

The Original Mindfulness Meditation
(Channel N) – Got mindfulness? Check out this brief and simple meditation to add more peace, meaning and awareness into this moment.

]]>
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/04/26/best-of-our-blogs-april-26-2013/feed/ 0
Best of Our Blogs: April 23, 2013 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/04/23/best-of-our-blogs-april-23-2013/ http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/04/23/best-of-our-blogs-april-23-2013/#comments Tue, 23 Apr 2013 10:30:30 +0000 Brandi-Ann Uyemura, M.A. http://psychcentral.com/blog/?p=44532 There is a lot of emphasis these days on narcissistic and selfish behavior. It’s true that a consistent pattern of putting yourself first ends up eating at your own joy and happiness. But the same is true if you neglect yourself.

I’ve met too many people who “pretend” to be giving and generous out of obligation or a fear of being unloved. As a result, they turn resentful when doling out favors. Instead of helping others out of the goodness of their heart, their empty tank of self-love causes them to ask the question, “What’s in it for me?”

When you are compassionate with others and generous in spirit, do you also offer that same love to yourself? Putting the proverbial oxygen mask on you first is not an act of narcissism or selfishness. It’s a practice in self-care.

How do you counteract being giving to others with giving to yourself? Spend time with people who are compassionate and loving and minimize time with those who are negative and draining. And when you’re having a tough time, be as generous, kind, and understanding to yourself as you would be to those you love. Our top post this week will give you more ideas on how to improve your relationship with yourself and that in return should boost your relationship with everyone else.

{Flickr photo by Quinn Dombrowski}

What Self-Love Looks Like
(Weightless) – Have you been neglecting yourself? Here are a few ways you can cultivate a better relationship with the most important person in your life-you!

The Positive Side Of Pain: Re-defining Your Experience
(Caregivers, Family & Friends) – Is there an upside to painful experiences? You might not think so especially if you’re currently in it. But this post shows us there is light at the end of that dark tunnel.

Weekend Watching: Bradley Cooper On Mental Health and Stigma in America
(Celebrity Psychings) – This just goes to show that you don’t have to personally go through something to be compassionate. Read the ways actor Bradley Cooper is working to raise mental health awareness and minimize stigma in America even if he hasn’t been personally affected by mental illness.

The Boston Bombings and Other Tragedies Bring Out Our Character Strengths
(Character Strengths) – One of the unexpected surprises of tragedy is the outpouring of positive and loving actions in response. Find out what type of strengths are exhibited during traumatic moments.

Stereotyping Mental Illness in the Gun Debate
(Bipolar Beat) – Did President Obama’s recent speech on gun control end up pushing us back in terms of stigmatizing mental illness? This blogger thinks so. Read why here.

]]>
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/04/23/best-of-our-blogs-april-23-2013/feed/ 0
Best of Our Blogs: April 19, 2013 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/04/19/best-of-our-blogs-april-19-2013/ http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/04/19/best-of-our-blogs-april-19-2013/#comments Fri, 19 Apr 2013 10:30:56 +0000 Brandi-Ann Uyemura, M.A. http://psychcentral.com/blog/?p=44410 When tragedy hits, it affects all of us. We could be living in the town, state or country where it happened. But we don’t have to be. Crisis reminds us we’re vulnerable, we can’t control everything, and there are evil people in the world. This type of news can floor the most put together person and it can destroy those of us who are extra sensitive. It can turn our vision of the world upside down.

At the same time, it’s a reminder that we’re all human and in the face of tragedy we’re more alike than we’re different. If we could hold onto the love, compassion and empathy we have for those in need, we might change our world for the better.

You might be feeling anxious lately because of what’s going on in the media and that could be percolating into your daily life. If you’re struggling with anxiety because you’re highly sensitive or creative, you’ll appreciate our posts on why the two are intertwined with tips on how to feel less anxious now. If you’re like many of us right now who need a way to come down from the fear, anxiety and overwhelming sense of hopelessness in response to the Boston tragedy, you’ll gain a lot from our posts on being vulnerable and how to cope. Whatever you’re going through this week, take care of yourself.

{Flickr photo by Darren Tunnicliff}

To Be More Creative Deal With Anxiety
(The Creative Mind) – Anxiety and creativity go hand-in-hand. It’s actually quite normal to experience anxiety in the process of creative expression. But phobia and panic can be a detriment to those in the creative field. Learn more here.

Anxious? A Simple Yoga Posture That Helps
(Channel N) – Yoga can help combat stress, insomnia and anxiety. Watch this short video with a guided yoga posture to help you feel better now.

The Neuroscience of Learning to Trust Yourself
(Mindfulness & Psychotherapy) – Strength can come from vulnerability. Learn to be more mindful of these often difficult moments and you will be better equipped to withstand more challenging events.

After the Boston Marathon Tragedy – Taking Care Yourself When Traumatic Events Occur
(Family Mental Health) – If the recent bombing in Boston has you emotionally drained and overwhelmed, you’re not alone. Read this to get tips on how to take care of your emotional needs during trauma and tragedy.

Paper Tigers
(360 of Mindful Living) – Do you take things too personally? This short post looks at the evolutionary reason why you or someone personalizes everything.

]]>
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/04/19/best-of-our-blogs-april-19-2013/feed/ 0
Best of Our Blogs: April 16, 2013 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/04/16/best-of-our-blogs-april-16-2013/ http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/04/16/best-of-our-blogs-april-16-2013/#comments Tue, 16 Apr 2013 10:30:08 +0000 Brandi-Ann Uyemura, M.A. http://psychcentral.com/blog/?p=44305 It’s very easy to fall prey to blame and victimhood. Why? There may be adequate reason to feel justified in complaining and being negative in your life. Maybe things just aren’t going right. Your kids are driving you crazy. You got a divorce or undergoing recovery. You’re in physical pain constantly. You’re just extremely overwhelmed by everything on your plate.

What feels right, a letting off of steam and an emotional release from venting over time becomes habitual. Now moments that could be spent improving your life are spent complaining about it. Instead of drawing the loving, positive, support you need, you’re building upon negative, hurtful ones. But once that negative and blame cycle gets going, how do you get it to stop?

“Negative emotions are like unwelcome guests. Just because they show up on our doorsteps doesn’t mean they have a right to stay.” – Deepak Chopra

It starts by taking personal responsibility for what you’re feeling and making the necessary changes to create more positive, healthy moments in your life. As you’ll read below, this might consist of taking 15 minutes out of your day to do something for yourself or it could mean getting practical tips for handling everything from recovery to mindful parenting. They key is to focus on what you can do in the present moment to start living your life with greater positivity, less blaming and more hope. These posts should help you do that.

{Etsy print by courtneyoquist}

Taking A Personal Time-Out
(Lessons From the Couch) – Feeling overwhelmed and stressed out? You might thing you’re too busy to take time for yourself. But having a more balanced life requires it. Use this as reason and motivation to prioritize self-care in your busy life.

Helping Children After Divorce
(Family Mental Health) – If you’re wondering how best to handle your divorce when children are involved, read this. You’ll learn the top three factors that impact your children’s well-being with tips on what you can do now to prevent potential problems in their future.

A Truth, a Tip, and a Find: Mindful Parenting and Kindness
(Mindful Parenting) – Parenting is one of the toughest jobs in the world. This brief post takes a look at three ways mindfulness can help.

Listening is an Act of Love: 5 Ways it Works in Your Recovery
(The Impact of Sex Addiction) – One area all addicts need to sharpen is their listening skills. Learn why listening is like love, what recovery skills are involved in listening and how listening can become a spiritual practice.

Focusing on the Positive and Learning to Accept Compliments
(Living With Chronic Pain) – It’s almost too easy to focus on what’s not going on in your life versus feeling gratitude for what is. As this blogger shows us, the shift is a difficult, but a mandatory one whether you’re coping with chronic pain or any of life’s obstacles.

]]>
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/04/16/best-of-our-blogs-april-16-2013/feed/ 1
Best of Our Blogs: April 12, 2013 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/04/12/best-of-our-blogs-april-12-2013/ http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/04/12/best-of-our-blogs-april-12-2013/#comments Fri, 12 Apr 2013 10:30:21 +0000 Brandi-Ann Uyemura, M.A. http://psychcentral.com/blog/?p=44214 Waiting for Happiness

Too many of us save our best selves for a rainy day. We wait for love to find us, for our life’s purpose to show up, for some shot of good luck to turn our lives around. Sadly, many of us will wait forever.

While you wait holding onto the good China/outfit/attitude for some perfect moment, you’re missing out on many memorable ones along the way. True happiness isn’t defined by what happens to you. It’s carving out joyful memories along the way.

“…happiness can simply be described as the satisfaction we feel when we are in ultimate accord, however, briefly, in being and doing. In those unified moments, our purpose is life and our talent is living it in its most immediate detail, be it drying the dishes or raking the leaves or washing the baby’s hair.” – Mark Nepo, The Book of Awakening

Don’t wait for the perfect relationship or a slew of good news before you give yourself permission to be happy. Take these posts this week as a sign that you can create your own moments of happiness with patience, practice and by empowering yourself. Choose happiness for this moment regardless of what you’re going through.

{Etsy illustration by Shelli Dorfe!}

20 Indicators for Co-dependency or Co-addiction
(Neuroscience & Relationships) – Are you codependent or in a co-dependent relationship? These key signs will help you identify whether you’re using codependency to feel safe and secure in your relationship(s).

6 Lessons to Teach Kids About Money
(Parenting Tips) – How do you talk to your kids about money? Is paying your child an allowance to do chores a good thing? Find out the best ways to attempt this difficult topic with ease.

For Students (And All of Us!) The First Priority Must Be Sleep
(Always Learning) – Getting enough sleep is a problem most of us face. When you’re a student it’s particularly important to make sleep a priority. How do you do it? These tips should help.

Now Moment: Balance Your Brain’s Negativity Bias with Food
(Mindfulness & Psychotherapy) – Instead of focusing on what’s not working in your life, this post teaches you to savor the good that’s right in front of you. Read it before your next meal.

The WRAP Model for Decision Making
(The Emotionally Sensitive Person) – Whether you’re an indecisive person or just having a difficult time making a decision on something right now, you’ll appreciate this post. Learn the best strategies to help you make better choices.

]]>
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/04/12/best-of-our-blogs-april-12-2013/feed/ 1
Best of Our Blogs: April 9, 2013 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/04/09/best-of-our-blogs-april-9-2013/ http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/04/09/best-of-our-blogs-april-9-2013/#comments Tue, 09 Apr 2013 10:30:56 +0000 Brandi-Ann Uyemura, M.A. http://psychcentral.com/blog/?p=44108 Resisting What Is

I think life’s difficulties do not rest solely upon the external events that rock our world, but the way we digest them. It’s wanting what you do not have. It’s wishing things were different. It’s replaying moments the way you want them to be, not as they are currently.

It’s this type of ruminating, repetitive thinking, that can drive us mad. It not only robs us from the potential of this present moment, but it steals away the gift of what is.

Sure no one is thrilled when bad things happen or when things don’t occur the way we planned. But the greater mystery isn’t, “why did this happen to me?” as, “why do we think we can control everything?”

Maybe the answer is that being out of control makes us feel fearful and vulnerable to disappointment and unhappiness. It brings back our past childhood memories of being helpless. It reminds that we’re a lot less powerful than we think we are.

But the truth is we’re both powerful and powerless, both significant and insignificant, and within the confines of life, we have choices. We can choose, for example, whether to feel good or bad about ourselves or our lives. We can decide to do small things to make huge differences for our physical and mental health. And we can create our own successes in life. That’s what our blog posts will teach you this week. Enjoy!

{Etsy mixed media canvas by lilthingsbynadya}

10 Minor Things You Can Do To Change Your State of Mind Now!
(Tales of Manic Depression) – It doesn’t take a major shift to change your life for the better. Surprisingly, small changes can make a big difference when it comes to your mood, mind and life. Find out what they are here.

A Poem: What My Body Has Taught Me
(Weightless) – In honor of National Poetry Month, blogger Margarita shares a poem she penned on self-love. Instead of focusing on what your body isn’t doing for you lately, it focuses on being grateful for what it teaches you daily.

The Benefits of Pet Therapy- Part 3
(Living with Chronic Pain) – Love a pet, love yourself? According to this post, pets not only provide unconditional love, but provide physical and emotional benefits as well. Learn the surprising list of things pets can do for your mood and your health.

For the Health of Our Society: “Normal” Child Abuse Prevention
(Attachment Matters) – What was deemed normal generations ago, would now be considered child abuse. This post brings attention the importance of preventing the severe consequences of emotional neglect and abuse.

Today, It’s Personal. Redefining Success.
(Therapy That Works) – Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook’s Chief Operating Officer, isn’t the only successful woman with an opinion on success. Read why this successful woman says it’s not always about being assertive in order to be a leader, but about creating and defining success for yourself.

]]>
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/04/09/best-of-our-blogs-april-9-2013/feed/ 0
Best of Our Blogs: April 5, 2013 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/04/05/best-of-our-blogs-april-5-2013/ http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/04/05/best-of-our-blogs-april-5-2013/#comments Fri, 05 Apr 2013 10:30:32 +0000 Brandi-Ann Uyemura, M.A. http://psychcentral.com/blog/?p=44006 Unlike being outdoorsy, extroverted or intelligent, there’s not much reason to boast when it comes to being introverted.

As a child, my mom used to buy me children’s books which always seemed to have a shy girl as the protagonist or a stuffed animal that would say, “I’m lonely.” None of these made me feel any better about being shy, lonely or introverted. It did make me realize that being this way set me apart from other children and adults in our society.

As I got older, life confirmed my earlier thought. It wasn’t easy being sensitive and shy. People seemed attracted to others who were gregarious, outgoing, the life of the party. I wanted to melt into the wall not stand out from it. It’s only recently after reading this New York Times article that I experienced a major shift in perspective. In it, the late Debbie Ford said motivational speaker and author Deepak Chopra taught her that what she thought were weaknesses and vulnerabilities were actually her strengths. What a gift! It showed me that introversion could actually be a blessing.

This week’s posts also validate this belief teaching us how introversion and being alone play into creativity and intimacy. If you’re feeling isolated because of your differences, consider celebrating them. As you’ll read below, what sets you apart from the crowd could be your greatest strength not your weakness.

{Flickr photo by One Way Stock}

To Be More Creative, Be An Introvert
(The Creative Mind) – What would we do without the introvert? According to this, the world would be starving of ingenuity and creativity.

There’s Always Someone to Blame: Wisdom from Brene Brown
(Mindfulness & Psychotherapy) – We all do it, but why do we do it? Find out why we really blame others and how you can gain freedom from it.

Porn Addiction and Sex Addiction: What’s the Difference?
(Sex & Intimacy in the Digital Age) – If you think porn addiction is less destructive than other addictive sexual behaviors, read this. Here’s an eye-opening look at the addictive and damaging affects of porn on you and your relationship.

An Asset to Couple Intimacy: The Capacity “To Be Alone”
(Healing Together for Couples) – A significant factor of a truly intimate relationship is the ability to be alone. How comfortable are you with being with alone? Here are a few surprising signs revealing your capacity for intimacy.

10 Ways Anger Masks Itself
(Therapy Soup) – Anger doesn’t just express itself as anger. There are other indicators like sarcasm and snobbery that are actually just anger in hiding. Find out more here.

]]>
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/04/05/best-of-our-blogs-april-5-2013/feed/ 0
Best of Our Blogs: April 2, 2013 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/04/02/best-of-our-blogs-april-2-2013/ http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/04/02/best-of-our-blogs-april-2-2013/#comments Tue, 02 Apr 2013 10:30:24 +0000 Brandi-Ann Uyemura, M.A. http://psychcentral.com/blog/?p=43833 I hope you got through April Fool’s Day unscathed. If you’re wondering why a potentially harmless joke may seem unworthy of serious concern, know this. I’ve spent most of my childhood and young adult years making sure to avoid humiliation and being duped by my infamous gullibility. Why? Because the fear of being shamed can trigger years of torment garnered from critical parents and torturous bullies. I still have nightmares about the little boys who teased me and teenagers who bullied me growing up.

At the root of all teasing and seemingly harmless joking is the power of shame. Shame or the belief that we are unworthy can unravel the strongest among us. It can make individuals feel disgusted with their bodies, hate their differences and become irrationally angry towards themselves and others to cope. All of which exacerbate feelings of unworthiness.

The solution? Work on building up your toolbox. Teach yourself and then your kids the importance of self-compassion, inner peace, understanding and awareness. These posts address all of the above to help you and your loved ones get through difficult times with courage and love.

{Flickr photo by marcandrelariviere}

A Meditation For Promoting Peace Within Ourselves
(Weightless) – To have a better, more peaceful life, you need to start with drawing peace within. Take a few minutes today to practice this loving-kindness meditation for yourself.

How To Find Courage In Feelings Of Uncertainty
(Caregivers, Family & Friends) – What do you do in the midst of uncertainty, self-doubt, and fear of the unknown? Take these five lessons learned by this blogger and use it to help you cope.

Anger and Fear
(360° of Mindful Living) – What is anger? Learning how to manage this often intimidating and misunderstood emotion takes understanding it. Read what’s at the root of anger and you may discover what’s really upsetting you.

Schizophrenia in Children
(Family Mental Health) – Schizophrenia isn’t just a disorder affecting teens and adults. 1 in every 10,000-30,000 children have it too. What does schizophrenia look like in children? What causes it and what’s key when it comes to supporting families going through it? Find out here.

Weekend Listening: The Effects of Bullying With Tamara Hill
(Celebrity Psychings) – You’re increasingly hearing about the negative impacts of bullying. But what can you actually do to help? Listen to this broadcast to get information on bullying online and in school with information on what you can do to stop it.

]]>
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/04/02/best-of-our-blogs-april-2-2013/feed/ 0
Best of Our Blogs: March 29, 2013 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/03/29/best-of-our-blogs-march-29-2013/ http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/03/29/best-of-our-blogs-march-29-2013/#comments Fri, 29 Mar 2013 10:30:48 +0000 Brandi-Ann Uyemura, M.A. http://psychcentral.com/blog/?p=43673 You’ve probably heard the term, “mindfulness” a million times. If not on this site then from a friend, on TV or in a magazine. It’s a buzzword that has been spoken by your neighbor and Oprah. But what does it mean and how does it apply to real life?

I was watching an old Oprah show recently where she talks to Seat of the Soul author Gary Zukov. Although they were discussing relationships, he said something I thought could be applied to everyone, single or in coupledom. Instead of blaming or holding someone responsible when you are upset or hurt, he said to work on finding out what’s making you feel this way. Learning to focus on yourself can help you grow as a person, enrich your relationships and change your life. What does this have to do with mindfulness?

Instead of checking out when things get hard or running through your to-do list when you’re with others, mindfulness requires you to pay attention. And in paying attention, you may discover the difficult moments you’ve been trying to hide. When faced with your own stuff, you may learn that you’ve got a lot of inner work to do. Being mindful opens you up to the bad as well as the beautiful moments you might otherwise miss. Read our posts below and you’ll find that mindfulness is a surprising way to empower yourself and truly live your life.

{Etsy print by groundwork}

Mindful Parenting: Being Present for the Good Moments and the Tough Ones
(Mindful Parenting) – There are many memorable moments in the life of a parent. Some bad, some good. But if you learn to pay attention to all of them, you will find compassion, patience and even gratitude in every moment.

Body Image Booster: Practicing Mindfulness
(Weightless) – When you eat, do you savor every morsel or do you eat mindlessly? Are you aware of the thoughts that pass through your mind while flipping through women’s magazines? Learning to slow down, paying attention and being mindful can improve your body image. Find out how here.

How Psychology is Used in Advertising
(Channel N) – Many consumers are unaware of the role psychology plays in advertising. This cute, short and interesting video shows how things like colors and emotions can persuade you into buying a product.

Need to Bounce Back? Get Rid of These 5 Things
(Bounce Back) – When the going gets tough, how do you keep going? Learn what five stumbling blocks will prevent you from persevering when life gets hard.

Struggling to Hold Onto Your Sobriety? Try Helping Someone Else
(Addiction Recovery) – The key to your sobriety and recovery could lie in your ability to help others. Read the latest research on the benefits of helping others and find out what you can do to give back here.

]]>
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/03/29/best-of-our-blogs-march-29-2013/feed/ 1