Change Your Mindset, Find True Love

Positivity FTW.

We all know the “meh” people of the world: The ones who complain about everything, never see the good in anything, and think that sharing any sort of happiness will “jinx” whatever it is they secretly want (just not enough to infuse it with the joy and gratitude it deserves).

If you’ve found yourself engaging them (or scarier, joining them), you know that while misery might love company, these kinds of conversations rarely bring you to a happy place. If you’re looking to make the most out of your life and get the most out of it, you’ll need to change and do a serious vibe check.

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It’s not only about smiling more; it’s about being your best self in your best life. Here are eight ways gratitude will give you a serious edge.

1. You’ll Be Less Stressed Out.

Have you ever been upset and noticed that your negative feelings tend to snowball? There’s the initial reaction and then the stress that follows when you think about it, talk about it and start the draining dwelling process. Before you know it, your mind is working to support whatever evidence you “think” you’ve found to prove that “everyone” is taking advantage of you, you’ll “never” find someone after this broken relationship, or a host of other exaggerated conclusions that tend to come rushing into your psyche after a setback.

Before you know it, you’ve suffered a dozen other self-inflicted betrayals and are in a worse place than where you started. Instead, try to focus on the “good” in every situation (the lesson, the growth, the fact that the person who’s no good for you is finally gone or the bad situation is finally over and offering a chance to rebuild).

2. You’ll Be More Attractive.

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Unhappy people aren’t charming. You can be the sexiest human alive, but if you’re a miserable SOB, no one will want to be around you. Listening to someone whose constant complaining about everything down to their water temperature isn’t only draining, but boring.

Instead of turning people off by acting like a defeated downer, find your mojo and show the world that you’re able to see the light.

3. You’ll Find that Joy Begets Joy.

Discontent is time-consuming and leads to more of the same for one simple reason: when you’re so focused on what’s making you unhappy, you miss out on things that could make you smile. Walking down the street grumbling to yourself will likely have you ignoring the attractive stranger’s smile because you’re in another place mentally. Those who feel good are more apt to be in the moment, which is where all of your opportunities for more joy exist.

4. You’ll Be More Successful.

Positivity is born from perspective. It offers us a sense of balance and resilience that will make challenges more manageable. When you have a solid understanding of real and perceived threats, you’re less likely to allow small setbacks to get blown out of proportion, which will allow you to address larger concerns in a methodical manner.

Happy people feel in control of their days, emotions and time. This changes their actions and reactions in ways that offer them an undeniable edge over those who find themselves overwhelmed by everything.

5. You’ll Be More Interesting.

Clear out the clutter and you’ll have more space to explore, to allow new people in and engage in new experiences, which will enhance your life and your conversations in ways you never imagined.

6. You’ll Have More Meaningful Connections.

Gloomy dispositions aren’t only unattractive to others, but they’re limiting to the individual. When you’re stuck in your ways and those ways seek more of what they know (which is unhappiness), you’ll be less inclined to see the good anywhere, especially in other people. This will make you less aware, less empathic, and more inclined to write people off before giving them a chance to show you who they really are.

You’ll also be less likely to showcase inappropriate knee-jerk responses to their comments and behavior. When you feel good about yourself and your own life, you don’t need to troll around Facebook playing the role of the “humble police,” nor will you rush to negative extremes, assuming the worst every time someone says something that triggers you.

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7. You’ll Lead the Charge.

While some people see positive people as living in some hippy-dippy delusion, we only need to glance at history to know there’s great power in positivity. Think about it: How would our world be different if Churchill was the kind of man to utter the word “Meh” or Lincoln believed there was no use in trying to change the status quo? If you want to be a great leader, you need to not only up the ante, but stay upbeat while doing so.

8. You’ll Live a Longer and More Fulfilling Life.

Research has shown that happy people live longer, and let’s be honest: those who gripe tend to live a groundhog day existence. Make it your mission to extract the good and you’ll infuse your life with meaning every single day.

This guest article originally appeared on 8 Amazing Things That Happen When You Stop Being A Negative Nancy.