Best of Our Blogs

Why You Struggle With Relationships

If you’re constantly stumbling over relationships with relatives, co-workers, friends and romantic partners, you’re probably fed up. Maybe you want to give up. But before you throw in the towel, check out this Sounds True podcast with clinical psychologist Dr. Welwood. Here is a snippet that explains the root of our own relationship wounds.

“You know, I have a friend who had a baby recently and I’ve been hanging out with the baby a lot, and it’s so clear that this little baby is a bundle of love, sailed in from the universe, and we start out that way. The thing is that people are already so wounded—our parents, and the people around us are already so wounded—they are cut off from the heart, cut off from their true nature, cut off from the capacity to really be in full conscious relationship with other beings.

When that happens, the child goes into shock, essentially, because that child doesn’t know what’s going on or how to understand that—or know what to do with it, even. The child doesn’t have the capacity to know what to do with it. The child’s nervous system is completely undeveloped and can’t process anything like that, or begin to understand it.

So what we all do, very understandably, is we shut down, and that shutdown cuts us off from our essential nature—as love, as openness, as awareness. That is the basic wound. And then we wind up feeling disconnected and feeling sort of bad about ourselves, and that actually goes further—in our culture…We wind up feeling there’s something wrong with us—that we’re not actually lovable in and of ourselves or who we are.”

Feeling inadequate and unlovable are understandable given the pain that persists from childhood. But what do you do now to improve your relationship with others and yourself? Keep reading. Our posts this week provide tips on when to communicate, how to find your life purpose and how to make your partner appreciate you.

{Photo from here.}

{Photo from here.}

How To Improve Relationship Closeness–”Stop Talking”
(Healing Together for Couples) – Communication won’t always cure your closeness woes. In fact, try talking during one of these situations and it could actually impede your relationship happiness.

12 Questions to Help You Uncover Your Unique Life Purpose
(Your Best Self) – Feel like you’re on the wrong path? Are you looking for more meaning, passion and a sense of direction in your life? Joe’s got the formula that’ll lead you to your life’s purpose.

4 Reasons Why Your Man Doesn’t Appreciate You
(NLP Discoveries) – You give, give, give to your relationship, but what has he done for you lately? Surprisingly, the things you think are helping your relationship could actually be hurting you.

Protecting Yourself From Unethical Mental Health Settings
(Caregivers, Family & Friends) – Here’s a a public health concern that you may not be aware of. To protect you and your loved ones from a mental health professional’s unethical behavior(s), read this.

Robin Williams: Intensity Is Not Pathology
(The Creative Mind) – There are too many untruths floating around surrounding Robin Williams and his struggle with addiction and bipolar disorder. This blogger shares opinions by various experts on the real relationship between creative brilliance and mental illness.

 


Comments


View Comments / Leave a Comment

This post currently has 0 comments.
You can read the comments or leave your own thoughts.


    Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 21 Aug 2014
    Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.

APA Reference
Uyemura, B. (2014). Best of Our Blogs: August 22, 2014. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 31, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/08/22/best-of-our-blogs-august-22-2014/

 

Recent Comments
  • Lisa: Thank you for sharing what’s worked for you in this situation; it’s a difficult one that we all go...
  • sheepwolf2004: the emotional abuse is still going on. it’s like my parents don’t care about how what they...
  • Melinda: Thank you for this article. I will share it with those that struggle with food issues. Great advice!
  • Mina: Many people here in the comments, both male and female, are responding to this article in such a way that...
  • Mina: I think it’s actually a myth that women really want to do everything on their own. It took me more than...
Subscribe to Our Weekly Newsletter


Find a Therapist
Enter ZIP or postal code