“Blame is a defensive substitute for an honest examination of life that seeks guidance in our mistakes.” – Thomas Moore, Care of the Soul
When we hear the cry of wrongdoing, it is easy to pass the torch to another. The fear of messing up is an alarm set off by our ego. When we’re on the edge of shame (we said/did/thought) the “wrong” thing, we desperately grasp onto shame and blame.
The latter rinses away the former. It temporarily relieves us of unworthiness, guilt and the heartache of years of not feeling good enough.
Being wrong and making mistakes, however, are necessary parts of our self-growth.
Listening without self-blame, but acknowledgement, acceptance and nonjudgmental openness can actually be key to showing us what we need most. Whether it’s to teach us how to be more self-compassionate, to heal old wounds, to make time to connect and play, to reconnect to what’s most important, making mistakes may feel uncomfortable, but they can lead us to a more authentic, joyful and healing way of living our lives.
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Is the Perfect the Enemy of the Good?
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My Childhood Made Me Do It!
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Free Association: How to be more creative
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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 21 Jul 2014
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.
Uyemura, B. (2014). Best of Our Blogs: July 22, 2014. Psych Central. Retrieved on January 26, 2015, from http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/07/22/best-of-our-blogs-july-22-2014/