Why Are We Drawn to Sad Movies?

This time of year allergies are affecting most people in some way. Some of us suffer from allergies to pollen, mold spores and other substances, which can really get us down.

I bet you are wondering what allergies have to do with love.

Did you know that you could have an emotional allergy the same way you have a physical allergy? Emotional allergies negatively affect us the same way physical allergies effect us, and emotional allergies can be just as debilitating.

Just like a physical allergy, an emotional allergy is a hyper-sensitivity. But the emotional allergy is something that “happened to us” in the past; usually something traumatic. It can be a trauma with a little “t” or a big “T.”

Emotional allergies come in many varieties. We can have allergies to closeness, vulnerability, trust, dishonesty or betrayal. Our emotional mind/body system carries these unfortunate experiences around without our knowing about them.

However, there is an emotional brain scanner that we also carry around everywhere we go that is designed to protect us from being hurt again, especially by those we love. Depending on the how and when our emotional allergies came about, they almost always interfere with our desire for closeness, excitement, friendship and commitment.

The sad news is that in our intimate, couple relationships emotional allergies usually get reinforced in our desire to be close to our partner because our desire to protect ourselves is often stronger and then we push each other further and further away. Emotional allergies are usually at the root of our intimate relationship struggles and they interfere with how we try to fulfill our needs, hopes, dreams and fantasies of giving and getting the love we would like to have in our lives.

This guest article from YourTango was written by Dr. Rita DeMaria and appeared as: Spring is in the Air – Could You Be Allergic to Your Partner?

More great content from YourTango:
The Key to Eliminating Anxiety (Without Medication!)
Are You Dating An Emotionally Unavailable Man?
7 Ways Love Transforms Your Brain

 


Comments


View Comments / Leave a Comment

This post currently has 0 comments.
You can read the comments or leave your own thoughts.


    Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 24 Jun 2014
    Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.

APA Reference
Experts, Y. (2014). Spring Is Here! Could You Be Emotionally Allergic to Your Partner?. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 22, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/05/17/spring-is-here-could-you-be-emotionally-allergic-to-your-partner/

 

Recent Comments
  • Phoenix: …Suppose you are Addicted to your CHILD I am the Mother of 2 Daughters who claim I have ruined their...
  • Dr. David Gruder: Dr. Grohol, thank you for your piece about Dr. Ablow. One of Dr. Ablow’s credentials as...
  • Zooter: I am also going through a smear campaign right now because of my ex-husband to be. I read all you wrote and...
  • Zooter: I can’t help but wonder if you were one of my soon-to-be ex-husband’s previous wives. I was...
  • kazandar: You get an “A” from me. Single father of 5 but constantly looked at as the one messed up even...
Subscribe to Our Weekly Newsletter


Find a Therapist
Enter ZIP or postal code



Users Online: 6330
Join Us Now!