I’ve been guilty of it. The big “C” word that sometimes interferes with my personal life. It becomes intolerable during the worst circumstances. It seems that the more out of control I feel, the more controlling I get. The dishes are cleaner, I’ll pack for a trip 2 weeks ahead of time and create long to-do lists I won’t ever get to. But the process feels comforting.
And I doubt I’m alone.
To ease the unknown, to soothe worries about our health, finances, and our relationships, we focus on controlling what we can. Part of that is healthy. It can be healing for someone who has been diagnosed with an illness. It can give a sense of purpose, empowerment and direction for those who feel helpless.
“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
But when our need to control is unconscious, when it begins to sabotage what’s working in our lives, and when it comes out of a destructive need to control what can’t be controlled, we need to change. We need to dig deep and learn how to surrender to the uncertainty. We need to trust and have faith.
If you’re feeling out of control about your relationship, your health, your world, read our posts this week. You’ll learn ways to help you feel more in control, hopeful and optimistic about your life. Truly. And you might even realize, as I have, the more you trust and let go, the less your need to be in control.
How to Experience “Flow”
(Thrive) – One way to be happier, challenge yourself and grow as a person is to participate in activities that allow you to be fully present and engaged in the moment. Activate your senses and experience blissful delight by learning what 4 things you can do to invite more flow in your life.
9 Ways We Set Ourselves Up To Be Controlled in Relationships
(NLP Discoveries) – Wonder why you’re surrounded by controlling people? According to this, you may be inadvertently letting them control you. Find out what things you’re doing to allow others to take control.
6 Personalities With Ingrained Thinking Patterns
(Caregivers, Family & Friends) – Human beings are complex creatures. If you’re having trouble understanding a loved one or a client, this personality list created by a therapist can help.
Study: For Depression with Alcoholism, CBT and Motivational Interviewing Show Long-Lasting Effects
(The Science of Addiction) – Depression and alcoholism often go hand in hand. You can’t be successful at treating one if you don’t address the other. This post takes a look at a hopeful study showing two psychotherapeutic techniques long-term impact on both.
Is Your Partner Controlling You?
(Bonding Time) – How do you know if your partner is controlling you? Sometimes we see only what we want to see. Other times the signs are less obvious. Go here to find out if your partner’s controlling behavior warrants a visit to a therapist.
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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 24 Apr 2014
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.
Uyemura, B. (2014). Best of Our Blogs: April 25, 2014. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 3, 2015, from http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/04/25/best-of-our-blogs-april-25-2014/