Beware of She-Wolves
A woman becomes a she-wolf out of necessity to survive in the relational jungle of life. She feels that there is no other way to make it through life successfully.
These women are not born that way and may have once been among the kindest of women. It took one or more major wounds to make her vicious.
Anyone who has dealt with a wounded, bitter, and angry woman knows quite well how much harm she can inflict, especially to men.
This is a she-wolf.
She is a woman who has become a reactionary predator, just like the animal itself. Women who have become she-wolves need to be understood and have compassion towards them, yet that does not mean they stop being dangerous. Just like a wolf in the wild, they will destroy their prey and devour them should the opportunity arise.
They should be considered from a distance, but not ignored, and with minimal exposure, as you would in the presence of a real animal predator. Let the reader understand that there are similar abusive predatory men but that would be a topic of another article. He-wolves are also a reality.
I have endeavored to uncover, in a non-scientific way, what I consider typical traits of she-wolves. I have based these traits on anecdotal experiences (mine, as a therapist, and other’s) encountering these and watching them from a distance.
They can be found in families as a mother, aunt, sister, daughter, and even a grandmother. They can be married, single, divorced, or widowed, heterosexual, or homosexual. They are in the corporate world and in the creative arts. If one is married to one or works for one, there is much pain received and often unnecessary abuse received from them.
They typically go after men… but especially after strong, confident men. Their attacks on these men come in the form of disrespect, talking down at, mistreatment, downgrading of position, leaving these men feeling castrated socially and emotionally.
They tend to attract only weak and soft men whom they can totally control yet disdain. They wonder why they cannot attract men that will courageously protect and defend them. Emasculated men who have them as mothers or are married to them, can easily and secretly hate and resent them. Experienced strong men will see these dangerous “creatures” from afar and will avoid them, seeing them as dangerous. They will conclude that the relationship is simply not worth the trouble.
God have mercy if she has a son. She will end up emasculating him. If he is an emotionally sensitive boy, he might learn that her mistreatment is reduced if he simply surrenders his manhood and conforms. If he chooses to save his masculine spirit, he may have to choose to metaphorically “kick her in the face” to get away from her and protect himself. She, no doubt, wonders why he spurns her love. Her version of love can be asphyxiating, controlling, enmeshed, and an impediment to becoming a self-assured man.
Many strong men can work interdependently with women but it is impossible to do so with a she-wolf since she is highly insecure and cannot share power.
I have endeavored to come up with some characteristics that will help identify and understand this kind of troubled woman. Surely some women reading this might be tempted to brand me as a patriarchal, sexist, and “Machista” male, but they would be misinterpreting my position and possibly overreacting based on their own mistreatment and traumas. In some women’s minds, it is totally impossible to be a strong and confident male and still be a mature, loving, kind, and interdependent mate/lover/friend. They would be blindly projecting their own anger and their own absence of positive experiences instead of understanding this phenomena that proliferates in society and promoted in the media about women.
Characteristics of a She-Wolf
Consider these characteristics:
1. Wounded. She-wolves are wounded women. Each She-wolf has, at one time or another, received mortal wounds from persons she has trusted or assumed were safe. Eventually she chose to stop the bleeding and turn the tables in order to survive the jungle.
2. Wounded by an important man of her life. She-wolves, were mostly wounded by an influential and trusted man or series of men. The kind of person that wounded her could have been her own father, step-father, grandfather, husband, boyfriend, male friend, or others.
3. Angry. She-wolves are angry women. They have experienced so many personal boundary violations and disrespectful treatment that they turned angry and vicious. If someone were to crash through your house fence with a bulldozer and smash into your house, you would probably be very angry. This woman had to put up with many such “crashings” into her life without her permission. Her personhood has been violated.
López De Victoria, S. (2014). Beware of She-Wolves. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 29, 2015, from http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/02/11/beware-of-she-wolves/