It’s the time of year when hope is high, dreams are big and we’re most likely to envision what’s possible for our lives. Mid-year we revisit these resolutions with disappointment and discouragement.
Why not do something different this year? Instead of walking the same expected path, use the momentum to really believe that what you want can happen. That is, instead of putting all of our energies into buying things we think will make us happy, or going cold turkey on an addiction or bad habit, what if we just believed in ourselves? Instead of the gimmicks, the material things, the quick results product, what if we believed the source of our change was our own strength, resilience and self-efficacy?
This is in opposition to what normally happens. Every year we dream up things like getting a new car, finding a soulmate, traveling around the world or losing weight. We go in excited, but half believing these can be achieved. We give into cynicism because time has taught us that dreaming leads to disappointment. And it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Perhaps, because we don’t completely believe we’ll get what we want, we go in half-motivated, eager, but already giving up.
In The Answer to how is Yes: Acting on what Matters, author Peter Block says, “What is lost in a materialistic and pragmatic culture is our idealism…Idealism is required to reclaim our freedom, for at the end of it all, it is our freedom that gives us the possibility to more fully live our lives.”
Whether it’s self-acceptance, healthier relationships, or a happier state of mind, I hope you’ll read these posts with this same sense of openness, idealism and possibility for whatever you want to materialize.
Turn Down Perfectionism and Turn Up Success:Four Possible Ways
(Healing Together for Couples) – One path to failure in the new year is to be a perfectionist. Go here to learn how to rid yourself of your perfectionistic ways.
Research: Why Some Become Involved too Quickly with Total Strangers
(NLP Discoveries) – Research shows your early relationship with parents and/or primary caregivers affects how receptive you are to strangers. Being too involved too quickly can be inappropriate at best and dangerous at worst. Does this sound like you?
‘Tis the season: Depression and seasonal-affective disorder
(Depression On My Mind) – If the weather is dark and dreary where you are, is it too drastic to move? If you’re suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), Christine suggests you do whatever is necessary to improve your mood.
8 Tricks to Sustaining Sex in Your Relationship
(Relationships In Balance) – If your sex life has been scarce or even nonexistent lately, you’re not alone. Repetition and familiarity can take the excitement out of any long-term relationship. Read this to learn what you can do to bring sex (and intimacy) back.
Don’t Set Yourself Up For Failure!
(Mental Health Humor) – Want to take back control over your life? Chato’s sharing what three-minute daily practice has helped him through setbacks, failures and illnesses.
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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 6 Jan 2014
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.
Uyemura, B. (2014). Best of Our Blogs: January 7, 2014. Psych Central. Retrieved on January 24, 2015, from http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/01/07/best-of-our-blogs-january-7-2014/