I used to have a life coach and whenever I would unsuccessfully attempt to muster sympathy for an unsympathetic friend or relative, she would challenge me to rethink my perspective. In other words, she called me on my victim playing. This happened particularly during the holiday season when love, parties and gift giving were all squished into a month long of forced happiness and joy.
She would always tell me the same thing. You can’t keep going to the fish market to get chicken. Meaning I had to stop trying to get support from the unsupportive person and compassion from the un-compassionate. To continue to do so was setting me up for disappointment and hurt every time. Yet, I kept doing it.
You may be doing the same thing if you’re reaching for the wrong thing or person to make you feel better. Whether it’s shopping to numb old pain, obsessively checking your smartphone, or using some other technological advice to distract you from your creativity, maybe you’re like me. You’re looking for happiness, love and fulfillment, but you’re finding it in the people, places and things that don’t serve you.
Let these posts remind all of us that while the holidays are wrapped up in a perfect bow to hide the big chaotic dysfunctional mess inside, you can choose how you receive it. Read what steps you can take to become more conscious and mindful of what you’re doing to create your reality. You’ll lift the veil of expectation, fear and distraction from your life and in doing so, you may finally find what you’re looking for-you’re own perfectly imperfect holiday.
Holiday Shopping or Compulsive Shopping? A Painful Difference
(Healing Together for Couples) – The holidays are a trigger for a lot of people. For the compulsive shopper, they bring pain, shame, and even financial problems. Find out if your desire to shop for yourself or others this season is normal or bordering on addictive.
5 Mental Reasons to Get Physical in 2014
(Your Body, Your Mind) – Need more motivation to get your gym shoes out of the closet? Exercise is good for your body and your mind. Find out how getting physically active can reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety, and help you get more involved with others and your community.
An Obsessive Compulsive Nation
(Mindfulness & Psychotherapy) – We’ve replaced an ADHD nation with an Obsessive Compulsive Nation (OCN). Want proof? See how long you can go without checking your smartphone. This blogger discovers his own temptation while driving and suggests helpful tips to get back on a mindful track.
Making Friends with your Pain
(Living with Chronic Pain) – You can fight the truth of your pain or you can accept it. While the latter is difficult, it can free you of unnecessary suffering. Find out 5 ways you can make peace with your body now.
What’s Keeping You From Creative Work?
(The Creative Mind) – As kids, creativity was part of our daily life. As adults, we often need to be encouraged or pushed to practice what used to come naturally. Perhaps, you’ve been distracted lately by the craziness of the holidays, by technology, by life. Let this post be a wake up call to get you creating again from now through 2014.
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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 12 Dec 2013
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.
Uyemura, B. (2013). Best of Our Blogs: December 13, 2013. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 12, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/12/13/best-of-our-blogs-december-13-2013/