5 Steps to Putting Sexy Back in the BedroomThis guest article from YourTango was written by Sharon Rivkin and Nancy Lee Bentley.

Feng shui, often called the art of placement, is an ancient oriental science incorporating astronomy, geography, environment, magnetic fields, physics and natural elements. The Chinese have been using it four thousand years to optimize living and working environments, with an amazing track record of benefits in health, happiness, prosperity and relationships for those who study and use its principles.

Ask practitioner Sophia Schaul; her love life’s dry spell and failing business turned right around using Feng Sui. Now both she and her husband Chris are happy, successful feng shui, (say fung-shway) consultants.  She says even the simple placement of doors, mirrors, or a fish tank, as well as colors, textures and sounds in the house or office have significance and influence the flow of “chi” or energy in our lives.

The bedroom is especially important in this system, since it’s the key area of the house where love, intimacy, relaxation and reproduction flourish.

Here are a few tips for creating a sexier, more sensual bedroom.

1. Make it feel sexy.

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Soft, rounded and padded headboards; cool, silky sheets in summer and warming flannel bedding in winter all tantalize and sooth the sense of touch. But so do plump, cushy comforters and plush, deep pile carpets. And there’s nothing quite like the nurturing feel of sinking back into a pile of soft, overstuffed throw pillows. — Nancy Lee Bentley

A cozy comforter makes you want to slip into bed, and soft sheets complete the experience. Remember, only a few throw pillows … you don’t want to ruin the moment by having to remove all the pillows! Plush carpeting is always nicer, but if your budget is an issue, a soft and furry throw rug is a nice landing for your feet … or for the both of you, in case the mood strikes before you hit the sheets. — Sharon Rivkin

2. Make it look sexy.

Visual cues, arrangement and proportion of rooms and furniture are equally important for enhancing ultimate bedroom harmony. Avoid clutter and big, oversized furniture in small bedrooms. For greater peace and prosperity, position the bed deep in the room, away from but facing the door. It’s considered ideal if you can’t see the toilet from the bedroom, either. And it turns out, according to the rules of Feng Shui, we girls have been right all along; the toilet lid should always be down — to avoid the family’s fortune from going down the drain! Colors and light are important. The bedroom is ruled by the blue element of water. So, light shades of blue with deep-purple accents are especially recommended. Sheets with an undulating wavy water pattern stimulate our watery, emotional nature. Place vases of real (not dried) flowers and hang framed pictures featuring water scenes, red peonies, or nighttime landscapes there. — Nancy Lee Bentley

Most important, clean and unclutter your bedroom. By doing this, the possibilities are endless for decorating and accessorizing your room to make it a sexier haven. The allure of the bedroom happens with the color you choose for the walls. Visit your paint store and ask for suggestions. Lighting is everything, so to enhance the effect, forget bright lights and transcend the space to a warm glow with dimmed table lamps, wall sconces, or candles instead. Choose wall hangings or pictures that are sensual and/or soothing; no photos of your kids or your mom and dad staring at you! — Sharon Rivkin

3. Make it smell sexy.

Intimacy is enhanced by all of the senses. Don’t forget the importance of aromas to stimulate sensuality and the liquid light of sex. Naturally scented candles, incense, and fresh flowers are all evocative. But instead of synthetic perfumes, try using more natural, aromatic essential oils like musk, sandalwood, lavender and ylang ylang on your body, pillowcases or in vaporizers around the bedroom to stimulate that erotic energy.  — Nancy Lee Bentley

A freshly showered partner can be a turn on for some, and for others, there’s simply nothing sexier than your partner wearing the perfect cologne or perfume. If cologne or perfume aren’t your thing, opt for some incense or scented candles that can quickly activate your desire. For some, opening the window and letting fresh air into the room is all that’s needed to set the stage for intimacy. — Sharon Rivkin

4. Make it sound sexy.

Obviously, the sound of soft and sultry music in the bedroom is a no-brainer for stimulating sensual, erotic emotions. But don’t overlook some of the old-time, surefire seductors like classical Debussy and PacoBell’s Canon, easy listening, ethereal Ambient, Atmospheres or other New Age music, the smooth jazz trumpet of Chris Botti, and other 70′s classics like Boz Scaggs, Earth, Wind & Fire and the scorching saxophone of Argentinian Gato Barbieri. Gently trickling water fountains and tinkling chimes encourage serenity, relaxation and love. Instead of a jarring alarm clock that shocks the two of you awake, try the soft, gentleness of a Zen alarm clock, with gradually increasing chimes and gongs that ease you out of slumber. — Nancy Lee Bentley

Music is an important component that can send you to a place where your cares are gone and your partner is your prime focus. Soft background music or even a favorite album that you remember playing at the beginning of your relationship is all that it takes. Remember, music to your partner’s ears can also be your own voice saying “I love you.” — Sharon Rivkin

5. Make it taste sexy.

Finally, there’s taste. It doesn’t always mean eating, but flavored lubricants can add a delicious dimension to your evening. Keeping a glass pitcher of clean, cool water handy, close to the bed, encourages you and your partner to stay hydrated, before and after. And a sloping bowl of fresh, sexy ‘A’ foods: apples, apricots, almonds, avocados, even a bowl of artichoke spinach dip with pita chips — all aphrodisiacs — on an ottoman or  table adjacent to a comfortable chair, could become one of the most spontaneously intimate, healthy meals you’ll share together. Oops, almost forgot:  Try nesting velvety rich, dark chocolate truffles on a footed pedestal under a glass dome. — Nancy Lee Bentley

Known by the Greeks as the “food of the Gods,” one of the top natural aphrodisiacs for men and women is dark chocolate. It contains two key ingredients that increase desire and heighten sexual arousal. You don’t even have to worry about the calories because all of the activity under the sheets will burn those instantly! If you don’t like chocolate, find something that appeals to the both of you. Sometimes, it doesn’t really matter what you eat; it can be the act of feeding each other that can be sexy and exciting. — Sharon Rivkin

More great content from YourTango:

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    Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 30 Jun 2014
    Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.

APA Reference
Experts, Y. (2013). 5 Steps to Putting Sexy Back in the Bedroom. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 19, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/06/17/5-steps-to-putting-sexy-back-in-the-bedroom/

 

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