6 Kinky Ideas That Will Make Your Sex Life More Fun This guest article from YourTango was written by Dr. Aline Zoldbrod and Dr. Shoshana Bennett.

How can you add more spice to your sex life? This age-old question may seem stupid to young couples in love, but after 5 or 10 years in a relationship, some couples begin to appreciate it.

In this article, two of our experts discuss how being more kinky — and vulnerable — together — such as taking naked photos, reading erotica aloud — can make  sex more fun. Not every one of these ideas is going to be right for you and your partner.

But even if none of these ideas work for you, it may spur an idea of your own. So open your mind, and share this article with your partner.

1. Write some erotica fueled by your partner’s sexual fantasies and name the characters in the story your real names.

Read the erotica to him at a time when you’re both in the mood to have sex. It will bring the two of you together for a few reasons: a) It’s brave and vulnerable to do something creative and share it. b) It shows your partner that you really know him and have been listening to his heart’s desires. c) It will be a turn-on because guys are usually the aggressors, and it will make him feel great to be sought after.

Not into writing? Try reading erotic stories together out loud instead.

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Pick stories that are respectful but a bit out of your comfort zone. This gives you and your lover permission to use words and describe sexual behavior that you would ordinarily blush at. It can expand your horizons and keep you growing sexually.

2. Think of a place outside the house that is somewhat public, where you would be willing to risk having sex, like in the car. 

Think up some excuse for going to such a nearby place and convince him to go with you. Wear a skirt with no underwear. Brush your teeth and wear a bit of perfume, nothing too obvious. Drive the car to the place you have chosen and pull over. Kiss him. Surprise him by offering to have sex in the car. This is vulnerable because for most people, having sex in the car is very scary — and it does carry a bit of risk, so be careful! It will bring you closer together because no matter how it turns out, it will create a fun, private memory for the two of you.

3. Make a list of your four most vivid and pleasurable sexual episodes together. And share with your partner what you like about your own body when it comes to love-making.

Share these with him. This is vulnerable because you are sharing your inner sexual self with him. It also can be very sexy, because repeating these stories will create sexy mental images and bond you together.

When it comes to sharing what you like about his or her body, you could try something like, “I love how my long legs can wrap around you when we’re making love.” Appreciating your own body is an essential ingredient of self-confidence in the bedroom as well as very sexy for your partner.

4. Masturbate in front of each other, one at a time.

Allowing your partner to see you pleasuring yourself will help him understand what makes you feel good. When you watch your partner masturbate, tune in and really pay attention to what turns him on. The next time you make love, you can each practice what you learned.

5. Share with your partner three things you’d love more of during sex. 

To add a bit of intrigue, do this activity at a quiet café, and maybe discreetly write them down instead of verbalizing. Honesty coming from love increases closeness and trust.

6. Take naked pictures of each other, separately and together. 

Just for your private use, ask your partner to pose in sexy positions and then do the same for your partner. This activity can help strengthen your confidence and release the unnecessary embarrassment that impedes the unabashed sex you ultimately desire. The better you feel about yourself in all ways — including your body — the more you’ll be willing to trust and share yourself intimately with your partner.

 

More great content from YourTango:

It’s Not Narcissism! A Psychologist Makes the Case for Selfies

Happiness Happens: 20 Tips to Increase Your Happiness Every Single Day

How to Save Your Marriage When You Feel Hopeless

 


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    Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 30 Jun 2014
    Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.

APA Reference
Experts, Y. (2013). 6 Kinky Ideas That Will Make Your Sex Life More Fun. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 24, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/06/09/6-kinky-ideas-that-will-make-your-sex-life-more-fun/

 

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