Comments on: Signs of Emotional Abuse

By: JazzyJaimz

JazzyJaimz — Tue, 07 May 2013 17:40:58 +0000

I have only recently come to terms with being the recipient of emotional abuse, now that I have children of my own and am realizing that I have had issues similar to those that my mother had with me.

I grew up in a large house with at least four other people at any given point in my life, and almost all of them said or did pretty much everything on this list to me. I spent eighteen years of my life under my family’s thumb, apparently being emotionally abused and led to believe that I am a worthless person with no right to an opinion that might be different from their own. I was called rebellious and a bad child if I formed my own ideas or made friends with someone who didn’t believe as my family did. I was suddenly “not the girl I raised” according to my great grandmother, because I had a boyfriend who happened to have had a girlfriend before we dated. Heaven forbid that he know other people before he knew me. According to my family, and in turn according to me, I am a complete failure in life because I decided against college and instead had a family with the aforementioned young man who is now my husband.

I am only 23 years old, but for nearly four fifths of my life, I was pummeled with contradictions and ideas that I should hate myself because I’m not good enough for anything, that only perfection was acceptable and anything less was worthless.

And yet, even though I know that this happened, and that it has ruined my hopes of ever being “normal”, I can’t help but try to think that I’m still being stupid, that I’m just trying to make my life out to be worse than it is because I want attention, and that I’m stupid for considering it “abuse”…

By: Pat

Pat — Mon, 06 May 2013 11:59:22 +0000

If you are always abused you make a lot of mistakes. I tell gals i flirt with dat i will see dem when m bored. Ivv always known dat dis is wrong but i cant avvoid it. Im always told m not a gud and m always under pressure.

By: Aiman

Aiman — Mon, 06 May 2013 09:12:11 +0000

They do in front of me.And they can tell by seeing my face that i don’t like it but they won’t stop.What should i do?

By: meee

meee — Sun, 05 May 2013 13:57:59 +0000

Spot on!!! This must be an epidemic. I am reading “Is it you, me or adult ADD” which also deals with the chemical side of emotional abuse!! If you love your spouse and want to get help, read this book and find a Dr. or counselor to meet with. Awareness for the abuser, is the first step!

By: vicki fitt

vicki fitt — Sat, 04 May 2013 00:03:50 +0000

I’m gettin a bit concerned that i may b in a emotional abuse situation myself, i don’t know where 2 start,,,, my bf always wants a run down on wot money i hav spent, he will moan n say u hav wasted money we r guns b skint i anit happy with u but 2minzlater he will send me out 2 buy weed 4 him???? He told me 2day that I’m borin and his ex woz more fun thn me, i cry & he goes even maddder, he tell me constantly i am mentally crazy & a bad mum, he even cheated on me thn blamed me coz i was’nt sleepin with him?? I’m not lookin 4 sympathy or for people 2 think aw bless her, i just want sum info and sum1 to giv me sum advice, maybe i amcrazy i really do not know that’s why i’mgettin in contact with this page so i can getsum advice outside the realationship, plz help me

By: nerf

nerf — Wed, 01 May 2013 02:06:06 +0000

sounds like they are not real friends if they do it behind your back. if they do it infront of you they are teasing. Tell them if it bothers you confront them. Or make fun of something goofy about them. Be confident god made you the way you are!

By: nerf

nerf — Wed, 01 May 2013 02:04:22 +0000

I was raised in an emotionally, physically and lord knows what else abusive house hold. I was sexually abused as a child but was able to stop it when I was able to conceptualize that it was a voilation of my rights and was wrong. (it was another child several years older who obeyed my wishes) however it took me a long time to see my own part in emotional abuse. I am working now 30 years later on my anger and abuse problems. I am a very abusive person myself and it has left me angry, depressed, anxious and alone. I want nothing more than to be loved and to give love. I don’t want to be abusive but I don’t know how to be any other way. I’m working really hard to change and it’s devistating to admit this but it takes a long time to unlearn years of learning.

By: Mary Randall

Mary Randall — Sun, 28 Apr 2013 23:46:49 +0000

I live in a triplex with 3 units. I live in the back and my sister lives in the front She and I are both in our middle 70′s. In order to continue living here I must have financial support in the way of an equity line of credit. My sister refuses to cooperate with this so I am faced with selling my home. She is also uncooperative in this. The other party owner is willing to sell but the sister is not. I have gone thru this abuse for many years and can no longer take it. I need this support since I live in the oldest house, etc. The plumber just said I need $3000 in work and the house is termite infested. I live on SSA and a small pension and can not do any of this without financial help which my sister is withholding from me. Is there any alternative for me other that having the property sold by Partition?

By: is_this_life

is_this_life — Sun, 28 Apr 2013 06:56:05 +0000

Baylie, you’ve done the right thing!
Don’t become trapped like I am 15 years on. You have a job, a home and a lovely daughter. Stand by your convictions, keep your indipendence don’t give that up for anyone!
Wishing you all the best, XX

By: CindyHH

CindyHH — Sun, 21 Apr 2013 20:02:37 +0000

I would be interested in reading your paper as well. I am in a 28 year marriage and have also been emotionally abused. This article and recent conversations with family and friends after an incident, have put me on a path of trying to find my way out of this way of living that I have permitted for the last 30+ years.

By: Aiman

Aiman — Sat, 20 Apr 2013 08:48:12 +0000

Hello.
I don’t know whether i’m right or wrong.But when i’m around 2 or 3 of my friends make fun of me,among themselves and once even in front of a person i didn’t know.Sometimes they make points about my life facts.But do they have the right to make fun of that?Most of the time its about my personality,physical appearence,how much i eat etc.Tell me whoz wrong.Am i being too sensitive?

By: Lauren

Lauren — Thu, 18 Apr 2013 22:05:25 +0000

And Maria – Thank you for the article. I have been in counseling for a year trying to figure out a way to keep the relationship with my sister. I so appreciate being able to read your article. It has made things crystal clear. I am walking away; I am going to be free; I am going to live a normal life with friends and laughter and without her constant judgement, critical comments. I will be free of fear (of making her mad), of feeling devalued, no more walking on eggs shells all of the time. The ups and downs…the way she consistently makes me feel aren’t worth it…even if she is my sister.
Thank you so much….

By: Lauren

Lauren — Thu, 18 Apr 2013 21:53:41 +0000

Hi Archon – It would be amazing if people who abuse WOULD READ articles on abusing people….but if you look at the signs of an abusing person they generally don’t think they are doing anything wrong.

My sister abuses mentally and emotionally and when her girls were little physically. She never takes responsibility for anything hateful she says or does..it is always the other persons fault. She will yell and scream if you try to calmly discuss something hurtful she said or has done. There may be an abuser out there who may actually take responsibility for what they are handing out and they may want to change. And that goes to the hurt little child inside them that needs to be healed. But getting them to a therapist is another story since they don’t think anything is wrong with them.
The reason there are so many articles for people being abused is because we need to learn how to get away from the abuser…for good. And it isn’t easy..especially if they are family. It WOULD BE GREAT! if abusers admitted they had a problem and would seek help….then we wouldn’t NEED so many articles for the abused of the abuser.

By: njnagler

njnagler — Tue, 16 Apr 2013 15:41:57 +0000

All abuse is emotional abuse.
It can be very unintentional and subtle or the more obvious anger evoked.
It is more wide spread than even imagined.

By: Movinon

Movinon — Mon, 15 Apr 2013 08:08:45 +0000

I am glad that I found this website so I might offer 36 years experience of a verbally abused woman. In exhange, I know I will be renewed in spirit by each of you.