Every relationship has its fair share of fighting and arguing. Even the rosiest of relationships sometimes hit a rough patch. For some people, fighting may be a sign of intimacy. For others, it may be the vocabulary spoken by the family — that’s how they communicate.

But what if there’s someone who’s in pain, who wants to see the fighting end or decrease in intensity in their relationship?

In this video, Psych Central’s Ask the Therapists Marie Hartwell-Walker, Ed.D. and Daniel J. Tomasulo, Ph.D., TEP, MFA talk about chronic fighting and arguing in relationships. What can you do about it? While you can’t change the other person, what you can do is change your response to an invitation to argue. Learn more about it below.