It happened again. I divulged a secret and confided my most intimate thoughts and vulnerabilities to someone I trusted. And the feedback? Not the way I had hoped or expected. Instead of validation and thoughtful listening I got un-welcomed advice and misunderstanding. It was a conversation that bothered me so much I spent most of the night rehashing it in my mind. The experience taught me a few things.
One is that sometimes people who love you are incapable of being the safety net to hold your uncomfortable feelings. It makes them uncomfortable so they try to change how you feel with words. Even the people who love you most and have the best intentions can’t always know the right things to say. I’m the first to admit that I don’t always say the right things either. It’s the reason why compassion and forgiveness are as important as knowing who to gravitate toward when you’re feeling down. It’s understanding that your aunt may be a better person to listen to your problems than your fun friend who may just tell you to, “Buck up and get over it!”
It’s knowing what you need and who to go to when you need it and it’s also having the awareness that no one (even the good listener) will respond perfectly every time. It’s just like our posts this week. Sometimes you need professional help to deal with your child’s fears or try equine therapy to deal with your own. And although it’s tempting when hurt, rejected or disappointed by loved ones (especially if you’re emotionally sensitive) to isolate, it’s remembering that we all make mistakes. Being human we’re just not equipped to be perfect all the time. Added to this list, we also have posts on quitting smoking when you have ADHD and info on a new bill that may disclose your personal info (if you’re under 26) to your parents. It’s a great list to start your week and 2013!
A Parent’s Guide to Child & Adolescent Anxiety
(Therapy That Works) – What do you do if your child is suffering from anxiety? This post reveals the common childhood anxiety disorders and leaves you with information on what you can do to help.
What about the privacy rights of young adults with mental illnesses?
(Depression On My Mind) – A shocking new bill requires the disclosure of mental illness treatment to parents of their children under 26-years of age. Will this prevent potential suicide and homicide related to mental illness or would it just prevent young adults from seeking treatment? Share your thoughts here.
Study Suggests that Equine Therapy is Effective
(Equine Therapy) – How effective is equine therapy? This promising study showed positive and beneficial outcomes offering surprising evidence of its efficacy.
Accepting Loneliness: A First Step Toward Connecting
(The Emotionally Sensitive Person) – It’s not easy being lonely especially for someone who is emotionally sensitive. But there is a purpose in loneliness and it is the common link that binds all of us. If you’ve been feeling lonely lately because of a breakup, a recent move or lack of true friendships, read this.
8 Advantages of Having ADHD While Quitting Smoking
(ADHD from A to Zoë) – Did you know having ADHD makes you more at risk for smoking cigarettes and more “deeply addicted to them?” Here are 8 ADHD strengths that will help you quit.
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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 7 Jan 2013
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.
Uyemura, B. (2013). Best of Our Blogs: January 8, 2013. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 19, 2013, from http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/01/08/best-of-our-blogs-january-8-2013/