This guest article from YourTango was written by Carin Goldstein.
I know a lot of women whose husbands’ alpha male wiring goes to a whole other level. Unfortunately, many of these wives are in denial of their husband’s behavior because, for whatever reason, they don’t want to confront the issue. Here are six clues that your partner may be acting more bully than just alpha:
1. He blames you for things that aren’t your fault.
For example, when the dishwasher breaks, he immediately attacks and assumes you’re to blame, saying, “What did you do to the dishwasher!?”
2. He talks to you like you are a child.
He makes condescending and/or punitive comments to you such as, “I want you to think more about …” or “You need to use better judgment about …” instead of addressing you as an equal.
3. He uses an intimidating tone to others when asking for help..
Let’s say you’re at a restaurant with your husband where his food is served too cold. In an attacking tone, he demands that the waiter take back his food as if the waiter instructed the chef to ruin his meal. He responds to others as if everyone is out to get him.
4. He tends to make fun of children or tease them under the guise of “playing.”
Your husband may think he’s just playing with the neighborhood kids, but he makes unsolicited comments like, “Hey, Billy, do you throw your ball like a boy or a girl?”
You can be sure that Billy won’t be feeling too good about himself on his walk home.
5. He criticizes your character and possibly even your children.
When expressing his frustrations, he doesn’t say, “I’m so frustrated!” Instead, he exclaims, “What the hell is wrong with you?! Can’t you do anything right?!”
6. He suffers from “lawyer syndrome.”
What is Lawyer Syndrome anyway? Check out my recent video from Be The Smart Wife for the answer and how to deal with this particular issue.
More great content from YourTango:
- Why Men Are More Distant Than Women in Relationships
- Do You Need Couples Counseling? Here’s How to Tell
- 3 Reasons Why We Rush into Relationships
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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 9 Jul 2014
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.
Experts, Y. (2012). 6 Signs You May Be Married to a Bully. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 17, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/06/13/6-signs-you-may-be-married-to-a-bully/