Psych Central

The Benefits of Transformational DivorceThe traditional view of divorce is one of tragedy and trauma. We lean toward visions of hostile words, seasoned with accusations, rage and fear, flying through the air. Rarely does the thought of divorce align with anything positive or peaceful.

But what if that could change? What if couples could find a path that led them out from the pain to a realm where new possibilities could emerge? What if elements of understanding, apology, acknowledgment, healing, forgiveness and completion were the end result?

What if they could replace bitterness, betrayal and hopelessness with a sense of love and freedom to embrace the future?

Like anything in life, it’s a matter of perspective and choice. For those who opt for a TD (Transformational Divorce), the choice is to complete the past in order to create a new future.

TD takes the participants through the finality of their marriage and, at times more critically, the dissolution of their hopes and dreams. TD provides a process of healing and completion, acknowledgment with understanding and apology with forgiveness.

While couples with small children seem to be hardest hit financially, emotionally and physically, no one is exempt from the roller coaster ride of unexpected twists and turns. Couples will find themselves in awkward dilemmas; instead of planning that family vacation, they are now searching for the best way to exercise their legal rights against the partner who at one time was the love of their life. Many realize all too soon how daunting the task of managing the costs and the emotional drain of separation, divorce and custody issues can be.

On the other hand, some may experience a sense of excitement during the end of a marriage. They may experience a new-found freedom they had not anticipated and relief from the challenges of the relationship. Either way, it’s good to comprehend that this time of transition can also lead to a season of transformation.

We call this the journey — the journey of how the one grain of sand becomes the white pearl of transformation. Separation or divorce can be like the grains of sand. As an irritant, it cuts and rubs raw. These symptoms are simultaneously the very messengers for our healing.

In Transformational Divorce, we guide you through the landmines and tar pits in your “Dark Night.” We know, as Joseph Campbell so aptly put it, that “Where you stumble, there lies your treasure.” This is the Hero or Heroine’s Journey. Our goal and yours, should you choose to accept, is to transform darkness into light, fear into courage, despair into hope, and overwhelming pain and loss into the release of your most creative energies. We give you the map so you can find your treasure. While this journey is not for the faint of heart, understand you do not need to suffer alone or without a road map.


Those who wish to find out more about the benefits of a Transformational Divorce can do so by visiting this website.



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    Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 7 Jun 2012
    Published on All rights reserved.

APA Reference
Hassel, G. (2012). The Benefits of Transformational Divorce. Psych Central. Retrieved on April 23, 2014, from


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