Years ago a psychologist by the name of Robert Sternberg came up with a pretty good explanation that is difficult to improve on. What Sternberg did was to break down true love into three parts. I will try to share them so that you can easily apply them to your situation in a simple way. These three parts will help you to determine if what you have in your relationship is true love!

Part 1: Passion
This part includes physical and sexual attraction. It is like “Wow!”… You might hear angels and music…… . You initially cannot get over this person. The attraction is overwhelming. Pheromones abound. Electricity and chemistry are constantly zapping and bubbling in and around you. You feel an obsessive need to have your feelings reciprocated. For most persons, this is the first part of feeling attraction.

Part 2: Intimacy
Intimacy leads to attachment. It creates closeness and connectedness. We call this process becoming bonded with another person. Intimacy grows first by spending much time with another person. Then it grows deeper by sharing with one another every aspect of our lives. Intimacy is built on trust and safety. If you cannot trust and feel safe with a person then intimacy disappears and will degenerate into distrust and suspicion.

 


Comments


View Comments / Leave a Comment

This post currently has 11 comments.
You can read the comments or leave your own thoughts.

Trackbacks

No trackbacks yet to this post.


    Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 27 May 2012
    Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.

APA Reference
López De Victoria, S. (2012). True Love: How Do You Know?. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 23, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/05/24/true-love-how-do-you-know/

 

Recent Comments
  • Sister: Anon- If I were Mickey it would matter to me because there is a sister, a sibling, a blood related family...
  • Joel Hassman, MD: Nice post, I agree.
  • Jeremy P.: Let me get this straight, this women has no shame in prostituting herself, but call her a word that...
  • CONFUSED & XCITED: Wow, I never have known anyone, who could be. So, dang hateful. I first must say, I feel a lil...
  • Jay: Yesterday, after working on some childhood issues in my therapy appointment (that are really hard for me to...
Subscribe to Our Weekly Newsletter


Find a Therapist
Enter ZIP or postal code